


Never Left Behind

by megmeg654



Category: The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Curtis saves Frank, David helps Karen, Duck - Freeform, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Feels, First Kiss, Foster Care, Found Child, Halloween, Home, Lieberman children, Matts still alive, Thanksgiving Dinner, living arrangement, pitbull - Freeform, sophie - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-03-10 21:58:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 36
Words: 70,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13510602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megmeg654/pseuds/megmeg654
Summary: Ghosts haunt him, he haunts her-Karen never expected to find Frank in her bed cradling a child- him pleading with her to help him do something. It wasn't the life she thought she wanted until it was thrust upon her.Something he never thought he could feel again- the warmth a family could bloom in your chest.





	1. Chapter 1

 It was closing in on midnight in the Bulletin offices when Karen decided it was about time to call it quits. Ellison and the rest of her coworkers had left hours ago, her bearded friend giving her a look that said ‘get out of here’ before leaving- no friday night plans for her. All Karen could do these past few months was try to fill her time with something that didn't involve thinking about Frank.

 It had been about three and a half months since the almost kiss in the elevator, and she hadn't heard from him since. Not that it surprised her, Karen didn't expect to hear from him. But that didn't mean she didn't know he was there- he was. When she heard about the “gang” related incident at the carousel, Karen knew it had to be him. Even though it killed her to do it, the roses he gave her were completely dead and she had to throw them out- that night she came home from work and found a new bunch in her flowerpot. They were obviously from him, and it took everything inside her not to break out crying right then and there. 

 Karen couldn't count how many times her finger hovered over his number, and oh how she wanted to call- but deep down Karen knew it couldn't be her that called first. It had to be Frank, he had to choose if he wanted to be there. But that didn't mean she couldn't obsess about the number- memorize it- add ‘shooting star’ for a ringtone. 

  Karen had packed up and was about to leave the building when she heard it. At first she thought it was a delusion- how many times had she dreamed of hearing that song coming out of her phone. And then it clicked he was calling her- HER- she rummaged through her purse moving her gun and her heart raced when she saw the number. 

 This is it.

She answered, “Hello? Frank?” 

 Silence went on for a good few seconds, but she would wait. 

“Ma’am. I need you. Your apartment.” God she hadn't heard that voice in what felt like years.

 “Frank?”

“I’ll be there.”

Karen had planned on walking home, but knowing the gift that awaited her in her apartment- she practically sprinted into the street hailing a cab.  

 In those moments waiting to get home, she could hardly remember giving her address or getting the money out of her wallet- who knows maybe she gave the driver an extra large bill in her haste. Her heartbeat was erratic and her breathing felt loud in her ears, Karen tried to act casual as she passed by her landlord and some of the few tenants that were grabbing their mail from their boxes. But she could hardly wait. 

 Karen’s hands shook as she unsuccessfully tried to put her keys in the door, before finally reaching her goal- she stepped in.

 “Frank?” He wasn't on her couch or in her kitchen, there weren't any blood stains around that she could see, so that at least meant he wasn't bleeding out- hopefully.

 Turning around she went to the only place he could be- her bedroom. God how many times had she imagined seeing Frank Castle in her bed? Too many times to count.

She pushed open the door and looked in- and what she saw made her mouth drop and her mind go wild with questions. 

 A beat up Frank sat on the edge of her bed, but what really shocked her were the arms of what she could only assume of a young little girl wrapped around his neck, his eyes were what stopped her in her tracks- they pleaded with her for understanding, cried in pain, simmered in anger. Then the sniffles of the toddler made her move her feet forward.   


	2. Chapter 2

 

He had heard about this guy who was selling hard core drugs to kids, and knew this was one he was going to follow through on- it had been a whole day of watching him go from his shitty apartment- to a crackhouse- then around the corner of a middle school- and Frank knew this was the guy. He waited until the man went back home, before he followed the drug dealer up the steps to his fourth floor apartment. On his way up he heard all sorts a sounds coming from each and every door, and knew this would be the type of place where everyone turned their heads and covered their ears so they wouldn't have to talk- worked for Frank. 

  Franks heart was beating fast in anticipation as he pulled his gun out the back of his jeans and put his hand on the doorknob- not surprised to find it unlocked. He was about to walk in there and blow his head off when he heard a loud yell.

 “Sophie! You little shit- SHUT UP!!! I'VE GOT A HEADACHE!!” Then he heard a slap. A few moments of silence before a wail pierced the air.

 His heart was pounding in his ears- Frank knew that kind of scream, it only came from a little kid. And it only made him shake harder in his resolve to kill this man. Frank opened the door and calmly stepped in, looking at the little girl on the floor before turning his murderous gaze on to the abusive drug dealer before him. 

 “Who the hell are you? Get ou-” Before he could finish Frank pushed the man with all his might into what he could only assume was the bedroom, not wanting the little girl to have to see this. 

 Frank pushed the man into a chair beside the bed, when the loser tried to pull a gun out of his pocket on him, Frank grabbed his hand and squeezed, pushing it until it rested beneath his chin.

 “What the hell man?! I didn't do nothin….” 

“Yeah right, you piece of shit.” He pushed the man's finger until he pulled the trigger on himself and splattered brains all of the wall behind him. It took a few minutes for the anger inside him to come down, when he heard the crying in the other room.

 Opening the door, Frank tried to walk over the the little girl without scaring her off. “C’mere sweetheart.” It wasn't a voice he had heard himself use in a long time- one he only reserved for his own kids.

The little girl, who was obviously unacostom to gentle words coming from a mans mouth took a few moments determining whether he was to be trusted- her cries slowed down and she stood there with silent sobs wracking her chest.

 Frank couldn't leave her, she looked maybe around three or four, and even though she looked nothing like his little girl, he couldn't help but see Lisa in her. She had light blonde hair that curled up to her shoulders, fair skin, ratty clothes- and what angered him most were the bruises on her face and upper arms. 

 He opened his arms for her and smiled, after a few seconds the girl called Sophie ran into his waiting arms. She sobbed awful tears into his shoulder, and his heart broke for her. Leaving her here wasn't an option- but he couldn't kidnap her, he had to think. Maybe the police could be useful for once and find her mom. 

 He stood up with her and she curled into him, before he started sifting around the crappy apartment looking for any clues about this little girl, when he entered the bathroom. Frank closed the door almost immediately- the smell meant she was here at least a few days- the woman was laying in the tub with her limbs out, needle marks up and down her arms. An overdose. 

 No mom then. 

He had to get little Sophie to the police, but how?

  The girl was starting to fall asleep to the motion of Franks hand softly running up and down her back, probably not used to any type of affection- her crying had finally stopped. 

 Then the plan came to him, Frank walked out the door and out the building unnoticed before dialing  _ her  _ number. 

 This had to work. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LOVE KASTLE!! Where the Kastle fans at!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!!! Any questions or comments are appreciated!!! LOL :P

“Frank… What is this?” She moved forward dropping her shoes at the end of the bed, before sitting next to him. Questions bubbling up her chest.

 “I couldn't leave her Karen, I couldn't.” She knew he couldn't. Karen didn't know the whole story but she knew Frank- and if something had turned south he would never leave something so precious behind to wallow in it.

 “What happened?”

“You can say no… But I need your help- I wanna bring her to the police, but I can't bring her in. Can you?” 

 Of course. She wanted to say yes, but she knew him- and she knew there would be another part to this request so she waited for him to continue. 

 “I got a tip about a man who was selling cocaine and ecstacy and meth to kids- middle school kids. I found him and I was going to go in and kill him, when I hear shouting and then screaming- I walked in and found Sophie on the floor- He hit her, Karen. This beautiful little girl, he hit her. So I pushed him in the other room and he was dead- I thought maybe could find her mom, but then I did find her. OD’d in the bathtub- dead.”

 “So what do you want me to do?” He didn't have to ask he knew what she was saying; how do you want me to say I found her?

 “I was thinking you could say you had a source tell you a name for a story about this drug dealer, so you stupidly decided to go by yourself- a la Karen Page-’ She could hear the humour in his voice and she chuckled right alongside him before he continued.

 “Then You could say you went in and found her, found the dealer in his bedroom- the story will be he killed himself. Looks enough like that anyway, then you found the mom in the tub.”

“And then I brought her here?”

 “No, I think we should go back to her place before you call the cops.”

“Okay.” Karen thought about it and wondered if the cops would accept her story and figured they would have to. 

 She was still wondering about it when she saw little blue eyes poke out from Frank’s shoulder, then she saw the bruising- and anger simmered in her chest at whoever had done this to her. If Frank killed her father- she was glad, he deserved it.

 Her voice went sugar sweet, “Hey sweetie,” The blue eyes faced her more directly- her body only slightly turning away from that of her protector. “Sophie, right? Are you thirsty, Sophie?”

 The little girl nodded, so Karen moved to go to the kitchen- extending a hand to the little girl. Frank moved to stand up and bring her to the kitchen when Karen stopped him.

 “No, Frank. If I have to be the one to take her to the station, she has to learn to trust me. Without you there.” His jaw tightened- obviously not wanting to let her go, before nodding his head in agreement. Frank lifted her off his lap and placed the kid on her small legs, “You gotta go with Karen, Kid.”

 She looked up at him and her lip started to tremble before turning towards Karen, “Don't worry Sophie, we’ll be right back- You and me are going to go and get some water and between you and me-” Karen pretended to look around as if keeping a secret and stage whispered, “I might have something sweet in my purse.” She put her hand out to Sophie again and this time the little girl gave a small smile and put her tiny hand in Karens. 

 It was hard for Frank to watch, she was a natural and he couldn't help but notice the similarities between the two ladies. Their blond hair and blue eyes- Frank could see this being Karen's kid. And it hurt seeing her lift Sophie onto the counter for a sip of water and then the joy on her face when Karen produced a small lollipop out of her purse for her. 

 His mind went blank for a few moments before he noticed Karen coming back with Sophie in her arms, “I know it's probably not good for her to have a lolli this late at night, but I figured after the day she’s had, she earned it.” Karen looked at the clock and saw that it was close to two in the morning, “God, it's late. Should we head over?”

 Frank nodded before going to pick up her jacket and her purse. Karen handed Sophie over while she slipped her coat and shoes on, then she was reaching for the little girl again. Frank didn't want to hand her over- not yet. 

 “Frank, I just figured you'd want both hands free for the neighborhood were walking into.” Immediately a million scenarios raced through his head and he knew she was right, if some punk tried something he would have to defend the two girls, and not a second later Sophie was sitting in Karens arms while Frank ushered them out. 

  It was nearing three in the morning when the trio made it to the dreaded apartment, Sophie was fast asleep on Karen’s shoulder, while Frank walked around the apartment cleaning any evidence he may have left behind. 

  ‘Make the call, Karen.”

Frank paced as she talked to dispatch and it wasn't long before he heard sirens in the distance. “Frank….. You should go.”

 “I’m not leaving you up here in this shitty place until I hear them coming up  the steps-”

“We’ll be fine, but I don't want you getting caught.”

It was a staring contest that lasted what felt like hours before he finally nodded his head.

“I’ll see you at your place.” Frank swept down and pushed the little girls hair aside before leaving a kiss on her head, then doing the same for Karen.

Closing the door behind him was hard, walking away hurt his heart, watching as the police walked up the steps made it a little easier, laying in Karen’s bed even easier. Then sleep finally pulled his eyes closed. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did y’all see the new Jessica jones trailer!!! I just wish they could hurry up with season 2 of the punisher.... is the next season of punisher supposed to come out this year or 2019???

Frank shot up, out of a sound sleep. The ringing from his phone drowning out the ringing in his head.  
“Karen?!”  
“Karen? As in Karen Page? You expecting a call from her… Wow I’m proud, you finally grew some balls and talked to her. Hold on I got to tell Sarah… SARAH-” Frank pushed the phone away from his ear, David’s screeching was not helping the brewing headache he was sure to have.  
“Jesus, Lieberman…. What time is it?” Frank rifled around Karen’s bedside table, looking for any kind of pills that could give him some relief.   
“Well it’s around six thirty, hut Sarah and I just wanted to confirm with you that you were coming over for brunch today. We’ve been talking about this for weeks. And you promised the kids- it’s unbreakable.” He laid back down before rubbing his face ready to put out an obvious rebuttal.  
“Look man, I know what I said- But some stuff went down last night and I-”  
David cut him off before he could continue, “What happened?”  
“You know that tip you gave me about the drug dealer selling to middle schoolers. That jackass?”  
Frank could hear a door close before David answered, “Yeah, I remember. I couldn’t forget- all I could think of was one of them could have been Zach if he went to the wrong school. I remember.”  
“Well I went to his address last night and I found him beating on his little girl. Maybe three or four. All I could see was Lisa…”  
There was a pause before David asked the inevitable next question- but already he knew he didn’t really need to ask, David knew what Frank would do in that situation. Yet he still had to ask, “And? What’d you do?”  
“What do you think? You think I’d let that piece of shit keep breathing after what he had done- no doubt he’s done much worse!”  
Frank was getting worked up and had to calm down before Karen’s neighbors came knocking wondering why a scruffy man was screaming his head off.   
“I know Frank. And I think you did the right thing, for the kid. And all the other kids he was selling drugs too. But I’m talking about after. What happened after?”  
He knew this question was coming and somewhere deep down Frank had wanted David to ask it, “I couldn’t leave her there, the girls mom was overdosed in the bathtub. She didn’t belong there… I couldn’t leave her.”   
“So… what did you end up doing?”  
“I brought her to Karen’s,”   
Coffee that’s what he needed.   
“I thought it would be better if Karen called the cops and said she found the little girl alone in the apartment. That everyone else was dead. That she was doing an investigation. I figured it would be better than me dropping Sophie off at the police station.”  
“Sophie?”  
“The little girl. Then I had to leave her and Karen in that shitbags apartment to call the police. God, I had to leave them….” Keeping the phone between his shoulder and his ear made getting the coffee pot ready a bit harder than normal, but Frank was glad for the distraction.  
“I think you did the right thing Frank. Don’t beat yourself up about it, come on over for lunch and we’ll talk about it.” David sat in his office knowing how his family would be disappointed if Frank missed another would be meal with them, but in this instance he could understand. But no matter how much he understood, David knew he at least had to put up a fight over him coming or his family would skin David alive for giving up so easily.  
“You know I can’t, I told her I’d be here…”  
“Where are you, Frank?”  
There was a pause before Frank answered, something that almost sounded like embarrassment, like a teenager getting caught in his girlfriends bedroom kind of embarrassment laced his voice, “I’m at Karen’s, I told her I’d be here when she gets back.”  
“Oooo…. okay I think the Liebermans can get behind that, I can already hear the taunts- frank and Karen sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-”   
“Oh shut up would you, I wanna know what happened down there, she’s already been there a few hours,” he looked at the clock on her microwave before continuing, “about four hours now. I need to know, David.”  
“Okay. I get it, I’ll let the troops know. Hopefully they won’t shoot the messenger, but I expect a full report mister, and you let me know if there’s anything I can do, for it?”  
“Yeah, yeah. Let em know I’m sorry, okay?”   
“Will do. See you around Frank.”   
The line went dead and Frank sat with the coffee in his hand and the silence of her apartment surrounding him- suffocating him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOVE all you Kastle fans, youre my babes!!! Any comments i'll love ya for!!

  Karen had arrived at the station at around four thirty with a now awake Sophie, the officers had tried to pull her off Karen, but when she started to scream and cry- they decided it wasn't worth it until Karen would have to make her statement with the detective. It broke her heart to hear Sophie cry so much, with all the commotion Karen was the only constant she knew- despite how brief. She couldn't imagine what this little girl was going through- it had been a rough night for herself, but Sophie had a long night on top of the abuse she had obviously gone through in her few short years. 

  She ran her fingers through her unruly blonde hair- the little head resting on Karen's shoulder, trying her best to keep Sophie calm. Karen could only do what she wished her mother would have done when she was feeling down. She saw the two officers headed her way, a woman in a suit walking ahead of them- Karen knew this woman was probably from Child Protection Services, here for Sophie.

 “Hello, ma’am. My name is Ruth Walker, I'm from CPS and would love to get to know the little beauty you have in your arms a bit better….”  Karen looked down at the girl in question, knowing this would most likely not go the way CPS wanted. All the commotion in the station was making her less social and unwilling to try even a little bit. 

 “Soph, c’mon… This nice lady wants to talk to you. Won't you please turn around?” All she got in response was a shake of the head that obviously meant ‘no’.

 Karen decided it would be best if she did what she knew best, question this lady on all the information she had to give, “So Miss Walker, does Sophie have any family she’ll be going to tonight. From what I saw at the apartment, both of her parents are gone- anyone else?”

 “Well when CPS was informed of the situation, we looked into any familial history Mr and Mrs Ryan might have- and unfortunately Sophie seems to have no one left. We’ll be looking to place her into foster care as soon as possible and then hopefully with how young she is she’ll be adopted as soon as possible.” As the older woman was saying this she started on the paperwork she would have to complete for Sophie’s case.

 She looked down at Sophie and her heart squeezed with compassion, she was so attached already- how could she let Sophie stay with some stranger while she waited to be adopted, when Karen could offer some source of comfort and familiarity. “Well.. I mean I might not be super experienced, but if your looking for someone to foster her- I would be happy to do so.”

 The woman looked up at that comment with soft eyes, “As much as I appreciate the offer, and would happily consider it- with Sophie being so young we will have to formally take her back to our official infant care system while paperwork is processed.” She saw Karen's face fall before quickly continuing, “However, as I will be Sophie’s case worker I will definitely consider the obvious bond Sophie has with you when considering a temporary solution. And should you still feel the same in a few days when the paperwork processes you should come back and we’ll try to work something out.”

 She was happy at least that she wasn't completely inconsiderable candidate for fosterhood in regards to Sophie, but she still wasn't happy that she couldn't come back with her. 

 “But what about tonight, or the next few nights- she won't be with anyone she knows. Sophie will be all alone.”

 “Not alone, she will be surrounded by other young children in situations similar to hers. But yes, she will not be with anyone she knows for the next few days- and I'll be frank with you, the next few days will be somewhat scary for little Sophie.” Ruth saw the girls head turn out from Miss Page’s shoulder, and saw the bruises and as she kept talking Sophie’s eyes filled with tears and her chin trembled. 

 She couldn't be certain but it seemed as thought Sophie somewhat understood the gist of the conversation, that she would soon have to let go of the only comfort she had left. So she squeezed Karen’s neck even tighter while her tears soaked Karen’s blouse. 

 Karen tried her best to gently nudge Sophie back so she could look into her eyes while she spoke, “Sophie, sweetie- I can't take you home with me, I'm sorry. But I'll come back for you, I promise.”

 It killed her to look at the silent tears that tracked down her little cheeks, “No. Stay…”

“I want to, but your going to have to go with this nice lady- she’s going to keep you safe while I get everything ready to come back and get you, Soph.” Karen could barely hold back the tears herself, watching this adorable, helpless girl beg for her to stay- it was killing her.

 After everything she had been through in her life she never thought about having kids, never thought she had room in her life a little kid. But here she was preparing to take on someone else's child because she couldn't control the squeeze this girl put on her soul.

 “Look Ms Page, I think I should be honest with you- this transition is going to be hard. Both on you, and especially on her. I think it would be best for her if you said goodbye, handed her over and left as quick as possible. I want you to give me your number and I’ll give you mine and we’ll contact each other.”  Ruth handed her card to Karen and in turn Karen gave hers back- before standing from her chair with Sophie in her arms. She held her and swayed for a few moments before trying to put her into Ruth’s arms.

 She wasn't having it, you’d think with her being so young- it would be easy to transfer her from one adult to another. But Soph wasn't going down with ou a fight, and Karen could respect that. It didn't mean it hurt her any less, this was a sorry sight to see- and hear. She was crying and screaming her little head off, when she finally got her off and into Ruth’s arms- Sophie was thrashing about with her arms and legs kicking and hitting anything she could touch.

 “Kare!!!!”

She left a kiss on her cheek, “I'll see you in a few days, Soph.”

 “KARE!!”

She was walking away.

 “COME BACK!!”

God this was killing her. Karen’s heart was breaking, she knew she would call Ruth as fast as she could. Leaving this little girl she had only known for a few hours was killing Karen to leave behind and she wasn't one hundred percent sure why, but she knew she would help little Sophie if she could. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plz comment I love hearing from y’all!!!

It had been a few days since Karen had dropped Sophie off at the police station, and the following days were filled with stress and worry over what could happen.  
She had been escorted home after she left the station, the officer had asked her if she wanted him to walk her up to her apartment, but Karen had declined knowing it was a possibility that Frank was sitting up waiting for her. Silent tears tracked down her cheeks as she sat in the back of the police car so when he was about to leave Karen plastered on a fake smile and waved- hoping it would be convincing enough to let him leave quickly.  
Getting up the stairs had been a whole other problem as once she was alone the sobs weren’t silent and her crying was messy. Her vision blurred with emotion when looking down at each stair one by one. Karen wasn’t sure how long it took her to make it up the four flights but finally she was on her floor. She took a deep breath and wiped the fresh tears off her face, knowing her eyes would be puffy and obvious- but she felt like she had to be somewhat strong in front of Frank.  
Her keys jingled when she turned the lock on her door, and she knew that if he was there Frank would know she was home.  
“Karen?” The deep baritone of his voice gave her a deep sense of comfort that almost made her break then and there.  
She put her keys and purse on the kitchen counter as she puked both her jacket and shoes off, “Yeah it’s me…. You’re still here.”  
“Well, I said I would be. Didn’t I?” She was headed to the bathroom to wash her face when he put his hand on her shoulder to stop her, since she still hadn’t faced him. That’s when he saw the obvious signs she had been crying.  
“You were crying? What happened??” The concern in his voice was flattering, but not something Karen could deal with right now.  
Definitely not now. So she pulled away, “Nothing's wrong, Frank. It was just hard to leave her. Y’know?”  
Franks eyes flashed with pain and she knew that he did know. That’s how it always was with Frank, he always knew. Knew exactly what she felt, Frank Castle understood her- accepted her. Despite how fucked up she was.  
He couldn’t judge her, because he knew he was just as bad if not worse in the shitty things department. Karen figured this was why she kept gravitating towards him; everyone else she knew thought she was just some pretty blonde ditzy- never-had-a-problem or gone through anything that might have changed her kind of girl. But Frank- Frank saw who she really was. He saw the girl underneath the surface, he understood her.  
And she understood him. She accepted him, for all the fucked up things he does- because despite it all he was good.  
And that’s what she wanted. She wanted someone who knew all the terrible things she had done in her life- to understand them, and then tell her she was still good.  
She needed someone else to tell her she was still good, because the voice in her head that she constantly tried to ignore said otherwise.  
Karen wanted Frank to be that person. And she wanted to be that person for Frank. Because he needed it, he might never admit it- but Frank needed someone to say it was all okay. To tell him he was good.  
Pathetic, or at least that’s what she thought of herself for needing this reassurance. But she needed it. Him.  
“I’m gonna got to bed, it’s Saturday. I’ve had a long night. And who knows how long it’ll be before I get a call from CPS.”  
“CPS? Why would they call you?”  
Karen went towards her dresser to get out something to sleep in before answering through the wall, “Well I’ve offered to foster Sophie, the caseworker said I might have a better chance for it since she could obviously see how much she didn’t want to leave me. And I figure Sophie needs someone who cares that she’s okay to be there, before she gets officially adopted. So I offered.”  
She was changing and listening for a response from Frank, and getting none. He was probably shocked she had offered to foster the little girl- shocked into silence. So she peeked her head out at him, “Will you be here when I wake up, Frank?”  
He was leaning up against the counter looking up into space when he answered, “Maybe. We’ll see, go to sleep Karen. You need it.”  
“Okay.. I’ll see ya, Frank? Goodnight.”  
“Night ma’am.”  
Despite how much she wanted him to be there when she woke, he wasn’t. And as much as she wanted to be surprised about it, she wasn’t. Karen had gotten up around half past eight and looked all around her apartment. It was spotless, no coffee mug, nothing. Like he was never even there, like it never even happened. Except the little folded up note on top of her purse, the only evidence Frank Caste had ever been there.  
_You needed your rest. I’ll ask a buddy of mine who’s good with computers to see if there is anything he can do about CPS and Sophie. I’ll see ya around. -F_  
   That was it. And it had been three days now and Karen hadn’t heard from him. She didn’t call, he had left her- again. And if he wanted to see her- then he would have to grow up and just do it. Karen was done putting herself out there, she would call him. But she did call someone else. Ruth Walker. Over and over- most of the time she got a voicemail or a secretary, but Karen could be persistent and she wouldn't give up.  
And finally all her nagging paid off, as she sat in her office at the Bulletin when she got the call.  
“This is Karen Page, who am I speaking with?”  
“Hello Miss Page. This is Ruth Walker form Child Protective Services, calling in regards about Sophie Ryan.” She was flustered when she realized who it was that was calling and almost dropped the phone when she heard the voice.  
“Oh yes, of course. Hello Miss Walker, is everything alright with Sophie?”  
“Yes, of course. She’s fine, I was just calling to confirm that you are still hoping to obtain temporary guardianship of the child. To foster her, are you still interested?”  
“Yes, ma’am I am. I might not have a lot of experience but I want to make sure Sophie is happy, so I’ll do whatever it takes.”  
“Well that is great to hear, Miss Page. It’s seems as though Sophie’s paperwork has gone through the system surprisingly fast, and in my professional opinion I think you would be a great fit for Sophie. It’s always in CPS’s best interest to get a child into a loving foster family as soon as possible. So we’re glad to have you.”  
Karen couldn’t help but think Sophie’s fast paperwork might have had something to do with Frank’s computer whiz friend, and she couldn’t help but feel grateful.  
“Great. So how does this work, do I just come and pick her up? Or?”  
“Woah slow down, I said that I’m recommending you become her guardian, not that it’s a done deal, Miss Page. We will have to conduct a home visit to make sure she will be in a safe environment wherever she goes, which I’m sure you’ll ace with flying colors. But Miss Page-”  
“Call me Karen,”  
“Karen taking care of a child will require a bit of change in the lifestyle you might live now. I know that you are a reporter, and reporters have crazy hours, but when you have Sophie she will require you to have more steady hours. A more nine to five kind of job, you understand?”  
“Of course, my boss is great- he’ll understand.”  
“Good, and there is more- as you are a working caregiver CPS will provide a limited daycare should you need it. But it is not a five days a week type thing, you’ll need to get a babysitter or take a day off from work for the two days she can’t go. Do you have a car?”  
She almost said she did, “No, not anymore.”  
“Okay then you won’t need any car seat, we will provide a foldable stroller, as well as a few sets of clothes. But Miss Page it's all pretty cheap, and not the best quality. You’ll have to buy new clothes for her if she is to stay for a long period of time.”  
“That’s no problem Miss Walker, I don’t mind.”  
“Good, luckily she is potty trained- so no diapers. She probably learned out of necessity, not any parental guidance. And the one thing you will need to buy for her is a bed, she’s been with us a few days and it seems she’ll only sleep in the day bed. So I recommend looking for one of those. I think this would be a good fit for Sophie, Karen. But you have to know this is a big commitment to take on alone.”  
Karen couldn’t keep the grin off her face at the possibility that she could have Sophie sometime soon.  
“I will be great, I promise. You won’t regret this Miss Walker.”  
“I would hope not, Karen. So the home check will be random, but it should be happening in the next day or two, and then after that you’ll come here to see Sophie and meet with me. And if all goes well, you’ll be her foster mom in no time. I look forward to seeing you.”  
“Thank you, Miss Walker. Have a good day!!”  
God this was happening!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

  A woman came by the next day to inspect her home, and though not super impressive- it was passable. Karen was this close to getting Sophie back, she felt like she could taste it. Having the woman from CPS come by to look over her home had been extremely stressful, Karen couldn't help but worry about every item she had in her home- worried it would be the thing that would disqualify her from fostering Sophie.

  But today was the day of her meeting with Ruth, and Karen was even more ready to get over to the coffee shop they had agreed to meet at since Sophie would be there too. She was almost one hundred percent she would be able to take her home today, it had been about a week since she last saw Sophie. And Karen had a feeling that she couldn't prove, but just felt like Sophie was miserable in the system- and needed to be somewhere where she could be the star of the show. And wouldn't have to crave the attention she so obviously wanted, but instead would be constantly loved on. 

 The meeting with Ruth was in an hour and it would only take Karen fifteen minutes to walk over to the coffee shop- but she was so filled with nervous energy she had t get out of the house. So Karen grabbed everything she would need; her jacket, purse, keys, an extra cardigan incase Sophie wanted it, and finally slipped on her boots. 

 Karen was ready. 

She was crazy nervous, but she was ready. Maybe walking through the park near her house would help her waste some time before it was time to go. Yeah, that was a good idea- if she was going to have Sophie it would be better if she was familiar with the park in general. 

  Deciding it was a good idea Karen opened the door of her building and felt the wind whip through her hair, before starting in the direction of the park. She was walking with her head in the clouds when out the corner of her eye she saw a dark pitbull on a leash come walking up beside her. 

  Karen looked more fully at the adorable dog before looking up at the man who was walking the dog. Of course it was him, of course he just came out of nowhere- with a dog! Where did he even get a dog?

 “Ma’am” That's all he was going to say? He tipped his head towards her, Frank’s hat covered most of face when he wasn't looking straight at her. She wanted to see his face, it wasn't everyday she got to see Frank in the light of day, but she understood that he couldn't just go showing his face to everyone on the streets of New York.

“What the hell Frank?” The corners of his mouth lifted when Karen gestured to the dog walking in front of him. 

  “Where’d you get a dog?”

“I found him, he wasn't getting treated so good, so I liberated him. And now we're just stuck together I guess.” Karen could see the old wounds on the beautiful dogs coat, proof that this dog was a fighter- a survivor, just like Frank. No wonder they belonged together. 

  The trio walked in comfortable silence for a while, both the dog and Frank letting her lead the way, so she brought them where she was going originally. The park, she sat on a bench knowing he would join her. 

 Frank looked around scanning the area, before sitting next to her.

Karen put her hand out so the dog could sniff her before rubbing him between the ears, “What’s his name?”

“He doesn't really have a name. I just call him Dog or Boy, I don't think he minds.” 

She looked at him in disbelief, “He's got to have a name, Frank. He's a good boy, right?” Karen directed the last part of her sentence at the dog that sat at her feet, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth as he panted his happiness. 

 “Yeah, he does….” Frank looked at her, a question obviously about to roll off the tongue. “I heard about the meeting, with CPS.”

 “How’d you hear about that?”She had a feeling she already knew the answer, but wanted to hear him say it anyway. 

“Y’know that friend of mine that's good with computers, he looked it up.” Frank admitted. 

Karen looked at him, “You have a friend?”

He laughed right along with her before answering with just as much sarcasm, “A few, actually.”

  “But yeah I'm meeting with Sophie’s case worker today. I think it looks pretty good, I think she’ll be coming home with me.”

 He wasn't looking at her but Karen knew Frank was processing the fact that the girl he had saved from a terrible father would soon be living with the woman he couldn't seem to keep away from. 

 Karen looked at her phone and saw that she had about twenty five minutes until the meet up and would need at least fifteen to walk over there. And at least ten to calm down and seem normal when she next saw Sophie and Ruth. 

 “Frank….”

He looked up at her when she stood, “Yeah?”

 “I figured if I got Sophie today, I’d take her shopping so she could pick out the bed she wanted, and then we’ll head back to my place. If you want to go shopping with us, I- I think Sophie would be happy to see you.” She could tell her cheeks were getting a bit red with the offer, but she wanted to leave it open for him to decide. 

 “If you want to come with us, you can meet us at my building in probably like an hour or so, that is if I get Soph….” 

 Frank swallowed the lump of emotion that was suddenly stuck in his throat as he nodded at her. Not sure what he was nodding about but he did it nonetheless.

 Karen smiled down at him and gave Dog a scratch behind the ears, before heading off to get the girl. For once being the one leaving him behind, knowing it had to be him that wanted to join them. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please aske any questions!! Comment!! Lol

Frank had been standing across the street from Karen’s building for a good forty five minutes. It was torture, every few minutes he would change his mind- he shouldn’t be here! No- he should stay to make sure they make it home safe!   
God this was stupid, Karen would be fine she could make it home herself. He was about to leave when he saw her; walking down the street holding a folded up stroller in one arm, and the hand of a little girl in the other.   
Sophie looked better since the last time he saw her, the bruises that were there last week were no longer a dark purple and blue. Now they were a greenish yellow, she was still adorable but those bruises shouldn’t be there. Something that felt like a string attached to his body pulled him forward walking across the street towards them.  
Karen still hadn’t noticed him, she would have to be more vigilant about her surroundings- Frank would make sure to tell her to.  
It was Sophie that spotted him first, and ran towards him dragging Karen behind her.  
Frank bent down towards her before ruffling her messy blonde hair, “Hey kiddo!”  
Her little face was beaming up at him, looking at her savior who was miraculously standing before her, “Hi….”  
“You stayed?”  
“Yeah, I figured I’d want to know if she came home with you. So…”  
“Well, do you wanna come up? We have to drop off the stroller and her backpack.” Karen was fishing for her keys that somehow always ended up being in the deepest part of the endless pit called her purse.  
“Nah, I’ll stay down here and wait.”  
“With the dog? You don’t want to put him inside?”  
Frank chuckled at that, knowing how his dog was when left alone in a place he didn’t know. “I don’t think that would be a very good idea, he’s not very good at being alone. It’d be better if he came with us to go shopping.”  
Finally she found the blasted keys, “Okay, that’s fine. Soph you ready?”   
They both looked down at the girl in question to see she was infatuated by the roughed up dog that sat at Frank’s feet.   
“I wanna stay with the dog…” She spoke so softly, like she was afraid if she said something they didn’t like she’d get a slap across the face. And it broke Karen’s heart to see this cute little girl like that, she didn’t want to say no to the first thing she had asked for. In her mind it was making progress- Karen didn’t want Sophie to be afraid to speak her mind, to ask for something she wanted.   
She wanted Sophie to be strong, despite everything she’s been through.  
“Okay you can stay out here, I’ll just be a minute. As long as it’s okay with you Frank?”  
Both the girls looked at him as she asked, and he didn’t know how he could have said no now, so he just nodded his head.  
Karen smiled, “Okay great! But Soph you have to promise to listen to Frank, and do whatever he says, okay?”  
“Okay, I will.”  
“Good, I’ll be right back!” With that she booked it into the building leaving Sophie, Frank, and the dog.  
“How you been sweetheart?” Frank wasn’t sure how to talk to her, he hadn’t really hung out with kids her age for at least five or six years, and he was a bit rusty.  
“Good.” The girl was obviously shy, despite him being her savior- Frank was a bit intimidating in the light of day.  
“Good…”  
She sat on the floor next to the dog, petting him up and down his head and neck- the dog was reveling in the little girls attention.  
“What’s your dog's name?”  
“He doesn’t really have a name. You can call him whatever you want sweetie.” She smiled up at him before a crinkle in her forehead made her look like she was solving the meaning of life.  
“What you thinking so hard about?”  
“His name. It’s gotta be a good one.”  
She was still thinking about when Karen came rushing out, “You guys ready to go?”  
Frank nodded but Sophie looked up at the two adults with her, “Can I hold the leash Kare?”  
“Umm I don’t know, what do you think Frank?”  
He looked down at her little blue eyes that held so much hope in them he couldn’t say no, so he just nodded before standing in front of the dog and looking into its eyes. He was a smart dog, he would understand.  
“Be a good boy, got it?” The dog obviously didn’t answer but Frank knew he wouldn’t pull too hard on the girl, so he handed the girl the leash.   
The walk to the store was filled by a comfortable silence, both Karen and Frank equally amused by Sophie’s fascination with Franks dog. She patiently waited for him when he went to sniff a tree, constantly praised him for being a ‘good boy’ and holding onto the leash like her life depended on it.   
They got to the little boutique and Frank decided to wait outside with the dog while the girls chose the bed she would be using. Spotting a cart across the street he decided to buy two coffees and a hot chocolate for when the girls finished their shopping, then he went to sit on the bench to wait. Fully expecting it to be another twenty to thirty minutes before they came out he was surprised to see them walking out a few minutes later.  
“Hey, you guys already choose something?”  
Karen’s face was red and if she were a cartoon there would be steam coming out of her ears, “No, we didn’t find anything. Not the kind of place we want to shop, and not the kind of people we want to buy from!”   
He handed her the coffee before giving the hot chocolate to Sophie, “What happened?”   
This time it was Sophie who answered, “They were being mean. They were laughing and talking about the stuff on my face…”   
“The bruises. And they weren’t even being subtle about it, just openly pointing and laughing at a little girl. So I decided we would take our business elsewhere. How do you feel about Target?” She huffed.  
He could easily see how much this affected Karen, and it made his heart beat a little faster for some unknown reason, so he just nodded at her in agreement.  
“It’s okay Soph, those old ladies don’t know what they’re talking about, besides Target has a lot more cool stuff we can look at anyway.”  
The little girl nodded at Karen as she sipped her sweet drink, “Can I hold the leash again?”  
“Of course little lady.” Frank smiled at her as he handed the dog over to the hand that wasn’t holding the drink.  
Shopping at Target had been a lot longer of an experience than he thought it would be, seeing as how he said he would come in with them this time. He was about to tie up the dog to a post outside when he looked over to the girls and saw the same look on both their faces.  
“Are you sure we should leave him outside, Frank?” Karen obviously didn’t like the idea.  
“Yeah, he won’t go anywhere.”  
“I don’t know it’s kinda cold. Just bring him in with us.”  
“Yeah, he’ll get cold out here all alone!” Sophie had the crinkle between her brows yet again, and it would have been comical to see the same exact look on both the smaller and larger version if it weren’t scolding him.  
“Fine. Fine, we’ll bring him in, but I have to hold the leash in there, okay Sophie?”  
Her small face lit up, “Okay let's go!”  
They ended up buying a daybed and would have to have it shipped to her apartment later today or early tomorrow, they got a few toys for Soph, Karen insisted on buying a bunch of new clothes.  
‘Oh isn’t this cute Frank?’  
‘We have to get this- Soph let’s see if this fits’   
He was starting to get bored of just walking around with a tight hold on the dog beside him, just looking up and down the aisle, so they decided to give him a mission to get him off their backs.  
“Frank would you go over there and ask that guy over there where to find sheets for a kids daybed?”  
“Sure. Sure.”  
“Make sure they’re cute.”  
“Will do.”  
“I like yellow.” It was Sophie giving him orders now, and he had to admit she was damn cute doing it.  
“Okay kiddo.”  
When he asked the kid where the sheets were, the pimply faced teen was so scared of the dog Frank didn’t even have to worry the kid would recognize him.   
He was heading towards the sheet section looking for anything with a little yellow in it when he got a text.  
‘What size is your dog? Like for a Halloween costume or something? -k’   
Oh god, what were they getting? He spotted the color he wanted in a box and immediately grabbed it, rushing off to get the girls before they chose a costume for his dog and made him into something totally crazy.  
Paying for everything and the shipping for the bed gave him many bags that he happily agreed to carry back to her apartment.  
When they finally made it in, it was just as new of an environment to Sophie as it felt to Frank- unfamiliar but not bad. The only one who seemed totally at ease besides Karen was the dog, who instantly walked off to the couch before settling in.  
“Want to stay for dinner, Frank?”  
He looked at her in disbelief, “And what can you cook Paige? Takeout?”  
She playfully smacked his arm, “I’ll have you know I can make a mean Mac N Cheese, one of the few things I actually can cook, but I’m learning. YouTube and Pinterest can be very helpful.”  
He laughed before agreeing to stay and walked over to where Soph was going through the bags.  
“Are these the sheets you chose?”  
He panicked, “Umm Yeah, I hope they’re okay?”  
The sheets were mainly white with little yellow ducks all over the sheet.  
“They’re perfect. I think I know what I want to calm your dog.”  
He smiled at the adorable little girl, “Okay let me hear it.”  
“I think I’ll call him Duckie. Is that okay?” She looked at him for approval and he was a sucker who would agree to any name she wanted.  
“Yeah that sounds pretty good.”  



	9. Chapter 9

 That night had been an interesting one, Karen had made dinner for the three of them. One of the few things she had felt necessary to learn after she graduated college, Sophie insisted on watching a princess movie, so after much deliberation they settled on Tangled. The little girl had never seen it and was fascinated by all the singing and said she wanted to grow her hair as long as rapunzel, Karen couldn't find it in herself to stop the movie to make her go to bed- so she let her stay up to finish it. But she knew it couldn't always be like this, Sophie would need a schedule. The only reason it didn't bother her so much was because it was a friday and neither of them had anything else to do the next day- and maybe because Frank was here and Karen figured Sophie wouldn't be seeing him on an everyday occurance. It was easy to see the stars in Sophie’s eyes when she looked at him, not only had he saved her from her abusive father but he had a dog she adored- an added bonus. 

  “Oh my god!! Look he cut her hair!! How could he do that??” Sophie’s mouth hung open in shock, that her ‘new favorite’ princesses hair had been cut. 

 It was an even bigger surprise when it was Frank who answered her, “He was saving her from her mom- Mother Gothel, right? If he didn't cut her hair she would have to stay would have to stay with her forever.”

 Her mouth opened and closed a few times, “But he couldn't have cut it a little lower? Now she can't ever braid her hair again- not like before.” 

 “Yeah I guess, but I bet all that hair on her head was super heavy- now she won't have to lift anyone up a tower again.” Frank was yawning as he made a joke that probably went right over her head.

 “Kare? Can you give me a rapunzel braid?” 

Luckily she had learned to braid on all her friends in high school, now all that work was coming in handy, “Yeah, I can braid it but if you want a braid like hers we have to go pick up some flowers to put in it. ”

 Sophie's face lit up at the prospect that she could look something like the long haired princess, “Yayy!!” 

 “But right now I need you to go grab your toothbrush out of your backpack, then both of us will go brush our teeth, kay?”

 “Okay.” Obviously the girl didn't want to go to bed, Karen wasn't surprised-it had been an exciting day. But the girl hopped off the couch to get her bag and the dog followed right behind her. “C’mon, Duck.”

 She saw Frank lacing his boots and knew he was getting ready to leave as well, and she it was hard to hide the feeling of disappointment bubbling up in her chest when she saw him getting ready to go. He was putting his hat on and grabbing Duck’s leash.

 “God, what an awful name.. He doesn't seem to mind it, though.” He chuckled and she joined him. 

“So your gonna go?” 

“Yeah, I uh- I got stuff- work.. Work to do. Y’know.” 

“Oh righ-” She was cut off when Sophie walked back in. “I wanna sleep next to you Kare.”

Karen cleared her throat before turning towards the little girl and ruffling her hair, “Of course I am, silly.”

 Sophie smiled at that, but then she looked past Karen and saw Frank. 

“Your leaving?”

  “Yeah Soph, I got work. And I gotta bring Duck back home-”

“No! Duck’s home, he’s already asleep. He can’t leave.”

  “Sophie.. Duck belongs to Frank, and he lives at Frank's house.”

The girls eyes were beginning to fill with tears, and Karen had a feeling Sophie wasn't really talking about Duck- but about Frank. “But Duck belongs here, with me….”

  “How bout this Soph, tonight Duck can stay, while I go to work- then I can be here when you wake up to help build your bed. Does that work for you?”  

   “Frank you don't have to-”

“It's okay Karen, I don't mind, besides I have a but more experience with building stuff than you do.” Karen nodded at him, silently cheering Sophie on for getting Frank to crumble so quickly. 

 “Okay, what time will you be back? Should I leave you a key?”

“No, it's fine- I can get in.” Frank put the leash back on the counter, then walked towards the door about to leave- when he was rammed into by a three year old’s excited hug.

 “So you'll come back? Soon?”

She pulled back and went to stand beside Karen as he smiled and opened the door, “Don't worry, sweetie. I'll be back.”

  It was Karen who answered, “See ya, Frank.”

Frank was a silent man who didn't make noise when he was here, but after he was gone- the apartment was somehow even quieter. But Karen couldn't focus on that right now, she had to get Soph to bed. 

 “C’mon Soph, both of us should get some rest.”

The two girl brushed their teeth in tandem, Karen helped Sophie get into the new set of pj’s they had picked up today. Then she got herself dressed, placed a cup of water on the bedside table and crawled under the covers with Sophie doing the same. 

  “Goodnight Soph!”

“Night Kare..”

  She turned off the lamp and settled in, was almost asleep when she felt a small body curl in towards her- a tiny head resting on her chest. The room filled with soft snores and Karen slowly drifted to the sound of both Sophie and Duck’s breathing. 

  


 She woke up the next day, Soph still laying spread eagle in the middle of the bed- and went to make herself a cup of coffee only to find a fresh pot already there. Then almost gave herself a heart attack when she looked into the room that was once an office now converted to Sophs new room to find Frank putting the bed together.

 “Jesus! You scared me…. When did the bed get here?” She rubbed her eyes before sitting on the floor beside him.

“The guy got here about thirty minutes ago, I signed for it- not with my real name obviously. But you guys were still asleep so I figured I might as well start. I didn't wake, you did I?”

   “No you didn't wake me, but I’d advise you stop building that. I think a little someone I know was looking forward to doing it with you..” Karen sipped her drink before tipping the cup towards him, asking if he wanted any.

  Frank looked at her for a few minutes, and it would have been an awkward amount of time if it had been anyone else- but not with Frank. When he took the cup out of her hand, she felt like such a little girl. God was she in high school, _Ooh he's drinking from the same cup as me!_

 She was being ridiculous, but she couldn't help it- this was Frank Castle she was talking about.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna say a big thank you to those of you that have commented on my story! It really makes me happy to know other people are enjoying my story!! Special shout out to a reader of mine called Jacknjil, I love the attention to detail you seem to put into your comments- you seem like a true Kastle shipper! Coming after my heart!! Lol thanks to everyone else who’s commented and I hope you all continue!! Love y’all!!!

Weeks flew by and everything was great, it was all going perfect. Ellison had been shocked when she told him she needed to have a stricter schedule because she had decided to foster a little girl, but he let her do it. Sophie had even come into the office a few times when she couldn’t go into daycare and didn’t have a play date. Sophie was happy, all her bruises were gone and she was starting to break through her shy personality into a feisty little firecracker.   
But Sophie’s favorite days by far were Fridays and Saturdays, those were the days Frank came by. A few times he would drop by on other days during the week and those days were a treat but the start of the weekend were the days he promised to hang out.  
It was becoming a routine now, Frank would come by and cook them dinner, he would make Karen ‘watch and learn’ incase she ever needed to make the dish again, and Sophie would be his assistant. Then they would watch a movie, first it had been the little mermaid, then the princess and the frog, the week after that was Ratatouille, the next Friday was tangled again.   
Ever since she watched Ratatouille she insisted on being called his sous chef whenever he made dinner, then it was time for bed. Sometimes he would stay over, sleep on the couch- or other times he left in the middle of the night to continue his crusade and be back by morning to make them breakfast.   
Karen tried to keep Sophie in her own bed for most of the week, unless she had nightmares- but Friday’s were special. So Sophie would insist on staying in Karen’s bed on those days, and Karen didn’t really mind.   
She had never really pictured herself having kids, but now Karen could say with absolute certainty she loved Sophie. With all her heart.   
Another person she had inadvertently adopted was Frank’s dog. The first Friday he showed up they had bought a few toys for him, then the next week a bed, after that a new pink and yellow leash to replace the threadbare green one Frank used, then after that special dog bowls with ducks on the inside. Duck didn’t want to leave, and frank couldn’t really blame him- Sophie and Karen spoiled him with affection. Frank was convinced his dog was getting fat, and any time frank tried to bring him back to his own place Duck would drag his feet and try to his behind both of the blondes. After a while Karen had offered to let Duck stay a few days, ‘only if frank is okay with it’. Three sets of puppy eyes looked up at him, begging to let the dog stay, so as usual he gave in.   
That’s why it was so strange when Friday rolled around, dinner coming and going, bath done, the credits for the movie were finished and still no sign of Frank.  
“Why isn’t Frank here?” Sophie was obviously anxious, worried that he hadn’t come because he didn’t want to hang out with her anymore.  
“I don’t know sweetie, maybe he had work. I’m sure he’ll be here tomorrow for breakfast.” Despite what she was saying, Karen was worried. This wasn’t like Frank- he’d have let them know.  
Sophie thought the same, “He didn’t text you?”  
Karen plastered on a hopefully convincing smile, “Nope! But no time to worry, it’s time for bed. Let’s go brush our teeth!!”  
They had been lying in bed, Sophie curled up on Karen’s side, Duck at her feet, and Karen was dozing in and out- still worried about Frank.  
Then Duck started barking and ran out into the living room, Karen heart was beating fast as she shot up from bed to grab her gun.   
Her movement woke Sophie, whose eyes were wide with fright, “What’s happening?”  
“Stay here, I’ll be back.” God she wished Frank were here! No one would dare try to break into her place if Frank were here.  
Then the barking stopped, Karen tiptoed around the corner and was ready to shoot someone’s face off, when she saw a body slumped next to the window and Duck licking his face.  
Oh God it was Frank. He was hurt, and bleeding a lot. Karen put her gun on the kitchen counter and rushed over to him.  
“Frank? Are you okay?”  
“Shit Karen, I’m sorry…… I-” he stopped talking and started coughing. The kind of couch Karen knew couldn’t be good.   
“Shit, Frank! What do I do?”  
“Bathroom. Tub. My phone.”   
“Okay, I can do that. Can you walk?”  
He laughed and she put his arm over her shoulder and started slowly bringing him closer and closer to the bathroom. They had just made it past the threshold of the bathroom and she was about to help him into the tub, when she heard her.  
“Kare?”  
She looked over her shoulder that was covered in Franks blood, looking back at the scared little girl.  
“Is that Soph?” Frank asked.  
“Yeah, I got to to get her in her room.”  
“Shit….”  
Shit indeed, Karen walked back over to the little girl after she got Frank in the tub and closed the door.  
“Is that Frank?” Her chin was wobbling, and her eyes were filling with tears.  
“Yeah, sweetie. He got hurt, now I need to help him. And I have to focus, but I can’t if I have to worry about you. Can you be a big girl and go to your room while I help Frank?”  
“I don’t know….”  
“You can brink Duck, he’ll make you strong. Remember he’s just as worried about Frank as you are. You both need to be strong together, okay?”  
The little girl nodded and turned towards her room, “Duck, go with Sophie.” The pit bull slowly followed Sophie into her room and Karen saw the dog get onto the bed with the little girl. Sophie put her little arms around Duck, “It’s gonna be okay Duckie, I’ll be strong for you.”  
Karen’s heart broke as she shut the door, she wanted to cry. But she couldn’t- now she had to be strong for Frank, she wouldn’t be any use to anyone if she was a blubbering mess.  
Walking into the bathroom felt like she was in the middle of one of those scary chainsaw movies, there was blood everywhere.  
Frank’s phone sat on the sink and she assumed he had left it there before climbing in the tub.  
“Is she okay?”  
“I don’t know Frank, who do I call?”  
“David, maybe?”  
Ugh she was mad at him, she couldn’t really blame him he was woozy from blood loss, it she needed his help. But all this blood was not helping her, so she left the room and decide to make the call in the kitchen where she could think without seeing blood splattered everywhere.  
She opened his ancient phone and looked at his recent call list, looking for the name David.  
There’s a number with the name K, she assumed that was her number.   
There was another with a C, she want sure who that was. But the number that was most called was a M/D. M/D? Was that supposed to be David? God, she didn’t know. But Karen decided to take a chance there was a D in he contact info and Frank seemed to call this number a lot, so he can’t be bad, right? Besides she wouldn’t be the first to talk she would make sure whoever answered went first.  
Oh my god. She was dialing the number. Here we go. A few rings.   
A groggy voice answered, sounding like he had just been woken up, “God, what time is it? What do you want, Frank?”  
So this person knew who Frank was. What should she say?  
“Frank?”  
“Umm, David?”  
“Who is this? How did you get this phone?”  
“He’s hurt, it's so bad. He's bleeding everywhere. Frank just showed up at my place, he said to call someone named David.”  
“Frank’s hurt?  
“Yeah, I don’t know what to do.”  
“Okay, okay i'm coming. I’ll be there in ten.”  
“Should i give you my address?”  
“This is Karen, right?”  
“Uhhh yeah…”  
“Then no need. I know where you are. I’ll be there.” That was kinda creepy. How did he know where she lived? Maybe Frank told him? If he trusted this David guy, then she should too, right?  
Karen walked back into the bathroom and took a nearly unconscious Franks hand. She held it like her life depended on it, when really his life was on the line. How would she explain this to Dophie if frank died in her bathroom.  
It felt like hours before she heard the buzzing of someone looking to be let up. When really it had only been about fifteen minutes, it was three in the morning now- and she wasn’t tired in the least bit. She would surely feel it later but for now adrenaline pumped through her veins.  
Then his phone started ringing, “Hello?”  
“Hey it’s me, can you buzz me up?” It was this David guy, thank god.  
“Sure..” Karen waited with by her unlocked door and waited to hear footsteps before she yanked it open- and saw two guys?  
Two? She only called one guy.  
“Karen?”  
“Yeah that’s me.”   
“My names David, this is Frank’s friend Curtis- he was a field medic in the army with Frank. Where is he?” Karen didn’t even answer just started walking to the bathroom and felt the two men behind her. She opened the bathroom door and the one called David stepped aside to let Curtis go by.   
“It’s be better if I do this alone, I’ll call if I need any help, okay?” He closed the door on her before she could say ‘no, I want to stay with him’.  
The one with the crazy hair stood silent for a moment before taking her by the arm and leading her towards the couch.  
“You okay?”  
She laughed, a hysterical crazy laugh- “I almost shot him, I thought someone was breaking in. And you know what I was thinking?”  
He didn’t answer, but David kind of thought this wasn’t an answer she wanted him to respond too, so he just stayed silent.  
“I thought, ‘god I wish Frank was here!’ Speak of the devil and he shall appear kind of shit, I’ve seen him bloodied and bruised before. But never like this, this is different….” Her voice trailed off and she rubbed her hand across her face before turning the lamp beside her on. Illuminating the whole room, and she got her first real look at the man called David.  
“This kinda thing happened to me once, some pretty scary stuff.” He wasn’t really sure what to say, how to comfort her.  
“Yeah, and then Sophie saw…”  
“The little girl?”  
“Yup, how do you know about her?”  
“Well Frank talks about her, and you. But I- uhh.. also Frank asked for some computer help from me for her.”  
“Ohh the buddy who’s good with tech?”  
“That would be me.”  
“How do you know him?”  
David took a second to answer, not really sure what to say, “Well I kinda like blackmaile- no not really, I left him a disk. A mix, nineties greatest hits- that kinda thing.”  
Realization dawned on her, “Oh so you must be Micro. Now I know what the M/D stands for. Micro/David.”   
“Yeah I wasn’t really sure if hear from Frank until Sunday, or Saturday afternoon. After he hangs out with you guys. He went on one of his ‘missions’ on Thursday, I didn’t think I’d hear from him, I should have been more careful. I’m sorry you got dragged into this.”  
She stared at him for a minute before getting up to get a beer, “Wanna beer?” She didn’t really look for an answer just brought one anyway. “Dragged into this? That doesn’t sound right, more like walked into the inevitable- willingly.”  
David laughed and picked up the beer, “Well either way, I’m sorry.”  
“Yeah well I-” She was about to continue when Curtis walked out the bathroom door. Karen could tell he was like Frank, ex-military from the way he walked, the way he carried himself.   
“I think he’s gonna be fine, I got him as good as he’s gonna get. He’s gonna need a lot of rest, so I’ll get him cleaned up then into your bed, if your cool with it?” He looked at Karen at for permission and she nodded her head.  
“Yeah so I’ll get him washed up, and then you guys can help him get into bed. Do either of you have any extra clothes for him?” She got up and left the beer on the coffee table before walking past Curtis to the bathroom.  
“I have clothes for him, but you don’t have to do that, Karen. I can clean him up.” He was about to stop her from going in, but she wouldn’t let him.  
“Don’t be ridiculous- I’m going to do it. Then you can help me move him, got it? Help yourself to anything in the kitchen.” She said it with a note of finality, like she wasn’t to be argued with. Luckily Curtis didn’t argue- or he didn’t have to time to since she just opened and closed the door before he could respond.  
Frank was pretty much asleep in the tub when she got in there, he was all cut up only in his boxer briefs.   
“Oh Frank..” She decided to turn the water on and give him a bath, leaving his briefs on- not wanting to have him wake up being washed and naked without knowing how he got undressed.   
It was strange to think how a few hours ago she was doing the same to Sophie in the same tub- but a completely different situation. A bigger body, blood, an unconscious Frank.   
Karen turned off the water and decided she would tackle his head and face first. She grabbed Sophie’s kiddie shampoo, incase she got any in his eyes it was a no sting version. She was massaging the shampoo into his head and heard him groan, “Hmmmmm….” And she smiled knowing she couldn’t be hurting him.  
Karen finished washing up and started to drain the tub when she went out to grab the boys, so they could change him and get him into bed.   
Grabbing a glass from the shelf, she filled it for when he woke in the morning, knowing he would be in pain- and need something to swallow the pills Curtis was providing.  
They were walking out of the bedroom towards the front door when Curtis turned around, “Karen, I’ll be back in a few days to come check on him. Make sure he doesn’t do anything to strenuous, these are some pain pills. He can only take two in a twelve hour period, you need to be in charge of the pills. He’s gonna say it’s fine to give him a few more but don’t. It was real nice to meet you, Karen.”  
He walked through the door and David was about to follow when he ambushed her with a hug, “Take care of him, Karen. When he’s better make him bring you over to my place- my wife and the kids would love to meet you.”  
For some unknown reason it brought tears to her eyes before she nodded and closed the door. Karen went to the bathroom and started cleaning all the blood before Sophie woke up in the morning to find all this.   
It was closing in on four thirty by the time she slipped into bed beside him, that’s when she finally allowed herself to start crying. Silent- painful tears.  
“Kare? Can I come into bed?” The timid voice at her door jolted her up and she tried to wipe her face before Soph saw.   
“Of course hon, come on up.”  
Sophie climbed into the bed and under the covers- not saying a word. She curved her back into Karen’s chest and slipped her hands around Frank’s massive arm. She clutched onto him and Karen felt the sobs coming from Sophie’s body before they both fell asleep- both clutching onto Frank’s broken body.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kastle freaks UNITE!!!! Did y'all see the new antman and wasp trailer!!! OOOOHHHHH   
> Comment and questions are welcome and wanted!! LOL  
> XOXO

 Frank felt like he had been run over by truck when he woke up, he still hadn't opened his eyes yet, but the sun coming from the window was giving him a killer headache. The bed however was doing wonders for his back, which obviously meant it wasn't his own. Oh no… now it's all coming back- how he had finished off those men thursday night and was headed back to his place when he was jumped. He was jumped like an idiot, he already had a few bullet wounds in his arms- but he knew how to deal with those- he was distracted when three guys came up all armed with knives. He was hit but he hit back just as hard- his knuckles busted open, but the stab wounds were much harder to try to walk off. And unfortunately the problem was he couldn't walk around the streets of New York all bloody and not be recognized, so he had to wait it out- let himself lose a lot of blood.  

 And being the light-headed fool that he was, Frank ‘minus a lot of blood’ Castle thought it would be a good idea to go see Karen. And Sophie. What a dumbass he was… Scaring em’ like that.

 “Ughhhhhh…” Frank groaned out his pain and frustration. 

That's when he heard the voices, the sweet little laughs and soft words came to a halt. Frank opened his eyes and saw both Karen and Sophie in the bed with him, two sets of blue eyes looked at him, from their criss cross applesauce poses on the other side of the bed.

 “Are you up, Frank?”

He tried to answer Karen, but found that he couldn't- his throat was too dry. She obviously knew what he needed because she got up on her knees and reached over him for the cup of water, while he pushed himself up a bit-trying not to groan in pain. 

  “Here. At least we know your actually awake this time. You've only tried to speak, no actual movement before this.” She smiled at him, but he could see in her eyes it was genuine. She looked like she wasn't happy with him, and he wasn't surprised. 

 “Karen…… I'm sorry I-” He was about to continue when Sophie stood up on the bed, with a look in her eyes he'd never seen her aim at him before. She didn't say anything, just stomped out the room. 

  “Sorry you got hurt? Or that you came here?” Karen turned her head back towards him.

“I don't know, both? You as mad as she is?”

  Karen didn't respond for a few minutes, and after a while he didn't think she would answer him- then little Sophie came stomping back in. 

 Ducks leash in hand she pointedly avoided looking at him as she went up to Karen, “Kare, were taking Duck on a walk, Okay?” 

 “Sure why don't you go grab a sweater and some shoes, then get Duckie ready?” Karen got up to follow her to her bedroom door.

“Fine.” 

  Then she shut the door and faced him. And he couldn't help but gulp, feeling like he was back in middle school in the principal's office. 

 “I think she’s confused about what she’s feeling. That little girl loves you Frank. I mean Jesus, her father beat the shit out of her, and you come home looking like that. She's afraid for you, shes confused that you say your going to work and you come here looking like shit.” 

   He felt so guilty, his heart was breaking- and she wasn't even done.

“You think she likes seeing you like this, you think I like it. Frank, I was so scared last night. I was so afraid I was going to have to explain to her that you died in our bathtub, just like her mother. And then I have to play some sort of mindfuck puzzle with your phone to figure out who David is, followed by two strange men I don't even know coming into my home and I can’t even help you. I can't stop thinking about what would have happened if Curtis hadn't been here. And before that your friend David is telling me ‘I don't need you to tell me where you live, I already know!’ As if I wasn't already freaked out enough. It's not fair, for her. To see you come home like that.” 

 Oh god, here it comes… She's gonna tell me I can't come back here anymore- that I can't see her or Sophie anymore.

 “Frank, I can't ask you to stop being the Punisher,” WHAT!! That's not where he thought this was going. “I can't be the one to tell you when to stop, no one can. Only you. It has to be when your ready. But instead I'll make you a reasonable request- Can you at least try not to come home with your face all messed up. It freaks her out, just try not to fight- y’know hand to hand or something.”

  That’s all she was asking for? Not to come back here looking like a mess, he could do that. For her. For Sophie. 

  “Jesus Frank, I am so tired. Not just because I was up till almost five dealing with all this, but because this kind of thing drains your soul. Please… Don't let it happen again. Because it's you who's gonna have to explain it to Sophie, and make it up to her. She was so afraid Frank. We both were. We can't handle that again.”

  Frank couldn't help but look down in shame, knowing Sophie was hurting because of him. She got up and went to her closet, pulled out a sweatshirt and some tennis shoes, getting ready to leave him all alone with his thoughts. 

  “If you try to leave this bed, I will kill you. Curtis is gonna come back in a few days, but I'm in charge till then. There's two pain pills on your side of the nightstand. I gave you a bath yesterday, so you should be good probably till tomorrow. The only movement I'll allow is to the restroom. If you can't make it, wait for me and I'll help you to the restroom, kay?”

 She was scolding him and all he could focus on was that she said she gave him a bath, and he could feel that he wasn't wearing his briefs. God, had she changed him like a baby too?

  Karen left the room and eventually the apartment, Sophie and Duck in toe- now it was silent. No chatter, no happy laughs to fill the silence. Only his thoughts. His thoughts and her words.

_ Home.  _

_ You come home…. _

_ You come home looking like that…. _

_ Our.  _

_ Our bathtub…. _

_ To see you come home like that….. _

Why was she including him in things that belong to her? Home.  With Karen? WIth Sophie? Is that what this was? I guess technically you could say that, he had his dog here, he came to and from work to here, he made dinner here, sometimes he slept here. Does that make a home?

   Frank hadn't even noticed how long he was thinking about it, until he heard the door open and close yet again. Duck came bounding through the door towards him. 

 He let Sophie name his dog, and he didn't even question it. Does that mean his dog is home? Where Duck is loved by these two girls, is that what makes this Duck’s home?

  “Hi.” 

“Hey Soph, wanna come up?” He pat the bed beside him, and hoped she wouldn't refuse his offer. Finally she nodded her little head.

“I'm sorry, Soph. I got hurt and I was scared- so I wanted to be with you and Karen. I know I probably looked scary, but I promise I won't show up here looking like that again.” As much as he wanted he couldn't promise that he would never look like that again, only that he wouldn't show up here all bloody and awful. 

  “I thought you were going to leave me, forever. But Kare made me be strong for Duck, cause she said he was just as scared as me. So I had to be the big girl- but I don't like bring the big girl if it means your bleeding. I-” She was trying to keep it together, but then she started to cry and he pushed past the pain it took to lean forward and hold her. He had to do it for fear of breaking his own heart with her pain.

 “I'm sorry sweetheart. I'm sorry…..” He was. He was so goddamn sorry it hurt.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be a stupid question since y’all are here reading this but- which do you like better.  
> A. Kastle  
> Or...  
> B. Karedevil  
>  I obviously like Kastle better, but not only because I like frank more. But I like the person Karen is when she’s with him. With Matt she’s all; save me I need you I’m lying about what I really believe... But with Frank she is who she is and doesn’t have to apologize for it, and she’s stronger for it.  
> Tell me your thoughts plzzzz

Karen could tell he was starting to feel cabin fever, it had only been three days in the apartment but Frank looked like he was going crazy. He made sure to always let Soph know he liked hanging out with her. His bruises were starting to fade, but his ribs still made it hard to walk further than the kitchen.   
She was worried about how Frank would most likely try and leave the apartment once Karen left for work and took Sophie to preschool. She was just going to have to trust Frank not to get himself hurt by trying to be independent.   
After making Sophie’s lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some fruit with a cookie for dessert. Karen put it in her Finding Dory lunch box and decided to make the same lunch for Frank, so he wouldn’t have to make it for himself. She put it in a brown bag and wrote ‘FRANK EAT ME’   
“C’mon Soph, it’s time to go to school!” Karen called for her, knowing she was probably still with Frank in her bedroom. She was right Frank was still in Karen’s bed, but what shocked her was the little girl still in her pj’s next to him.  
“What are you wearing? I helped you get dressed in clothes for school, you can’t wear your jammies to school. They’ll get dirty.” She put her hands on her hips, in a way that said ‘let’s go’  
“I’m not going to school today!”  
Frank was stretching and starting to wake up when he heard the little girl next to him start to raise her voice.   
“Of course you're going to school, why wouldn’t you?”   
Sophie crossed her arms over her chest before answering, “Frank is hurt, and so he can’t take care of Duck. I have to be here to take of Duck- And Frank. Duh!”  
“Don’t duh me little missy. What if Frank is tired and needs to rest today? Then you won’t have anyone to hang out with.”  
“Then I’ll just ask him then, Frank? Frank? Fraank? Fraaannkk??”  
“Hmmm?”   
“Can I stay with you today?”  
He wasn't even sure what he was saying he was so tired, he just stuck up a thumbs up- “Sure…”   
“See? Karen he says I can stay. So can I? Please??” She looked up at her with her lip stuck out, pleading with her.  
“Fine! But come with me little miss- if you’re gonna stay today you have a job to do.”  
The little girl loved the prospect of getting a job to do, and she jumped out of the bed to follow Karen out.   
Karen brought her to the kitchen table and placed her breakfast in front of her, and told her to eat.  
“If your gonna stay and take care of Frank today, I made both you and Frank a lunch so when your hungry bring them into the bedroom. He’s gonna tell you he’s feeling better and wants to go out, but you have to say no. Frank is still hurt and you have to gentle with him. So no jumping on him or asking him to pick you up. Okay?”  
“Okay, I’ll bring him lunch at lunch time, and I won’t jump on him. I promise.”   
Karen smiled at her and picked up the empty bowl before following the little girl into her bedroom. Karen tucked her in next to Frank and kissed her forehead.   
“I’ll be back later, okay? Be good.”  
Karen moved over towards Frank who was just beginning to really wake up, she handed him his pills and he took them gratefully.   
“Frank, Soph is gonna stay with you today, okay?”  
“Alright. We’ll have fun right Soph?”  
He got an eager response from the little girl, “Right!”  
Karen laughed at them both before leaning over to kiss Sophie’s head again, then she turned and left a kiss on Frank’s head as well. And if he had been a little less groggy he probably would have something to say that would come off suave and cool, but right now he could just stare with his mouth open wide.   
She walked out the bedroom and started locking the front door when she called out, “I’ll be home around five thirty, bye!!”

  
“Chase is on the case!!” She screamed right along with the show.  
Sophie laid in bed with Frank, they had watched three episodes so far and she was ready to watch more.  
“This is killing me…” Frank whispered under his breath.  
“Soph why don’t we do something different? Like go outside or something?” He obviously didn’t want to keep watching, and staying inside these past few days- no matter how fun it was with both the girls- was killing him.  
“I don’t know, Karen said it was my job to keep you inside. Then at lunch time I’m supposed to bring both of our lunchboxes in to us.”  
“You don’t need to keep me inside, I’m feeling great-“   
“Kare said it was my job.”  
“She packed us lunch?” He hadn’t had someone make him a sack lunch since-   
Since a long time ago. Probably before Maria, he hadn’t had a job here in the states for her to pack him a lunch for.   
“What would you say if I said we could go to the Bronx zoo?”  
Her eyes lit up light Christmas- “The zoo?”  
“Yeah we could take the train down, buy some tickets- bring our lunches with us. It’ll be fun!” He was silently begging her to say yes just to get out of the house.  
“Yeah and we can maybe eat our lunch like a picnic?” Sophie was excited to sit out in the sun with frank eating pb&j, and was ready to tell him her whole plan- when she saw the look in his eyes. They looked sad, like he was pained to hear the suggestion, so she instantly took it back- “Or we can sit at the tables by ourselves.”  
Frank wanted nothing more than to give Sophie what she wanted, but he knew- he knew the idea of doing what he last did with his family before they died…. With her, would kill him. Would rip his insides out, pull his heart from his chest kind of pain. And after everything she’s been through she saw the pain on his face and decided to change her plan so he wouldn’t hurt, made him sad for her but eternally grateful that she was the way she was- an angel.  
“Yeah, we’ll eat at the tables by the giraffes- it’ll be great. Make sure you bring your puffer jacket with you- it’s starting to get cold.” The beginning of October brought a chill with it that was starting to bite at his nose, and he knew Karen might already kill him for leaving while still hurt- so he didn’t want to increase her wrath by getting little Soph sick too.   
Luckily after Curtis came by to check on his ribs yesterday, he brought a duffel of Frank’s stuff with him, so he could go out in clothes other than sweats. Frank got his beanie out and placed it on his head, pretty much in all black- the opposite of the girl coming out from her room. She had dressed herself, and wow it was a look.   
Yellow rain boots, blue jeans, pink polka dot long sleeve tee, and a bright purple puffer jacket- an outfit only she could put together.   
“Are you gonna do my hair?”   
“What?” Hair? He had to do her hair?  
“Kare always brushes it then she either puts it in a pony, or a braid, or two braids, or pigtails. I think I want pigtails today- let me get the brush.” The little girl ran back into her room before frank could respond.  
And before he could properly refuse she was pulling him to the couch and placing a brush in his hand, two hair ties in the other and sitting between his legs with her back to him.   
“Ummm”  
“Just brush it- then pull it into two parts. That’s what Kare does.” Frank tried to follow her instructions but he probably didn’t do that great of a job of brushing it as he was barely actually touching her hair- for fear of hurting her.   
Eventually he just gave up and put the two hair ties in. Frank looked at his handiwork and knew it looked awful, it wasn’t parted correctly and one side had a lot more hair than the other- but he figured if she put a hat on no one would really notice.   
“Okay… done. Now go put a hat on, you don’t want your ears to freeze and fall off, do ya?” She turned to look at him and covered her ears while shaking her head no.   
He laughed as she ran to her room and while she was gone he packed his backpack with her lunchbox and a brown bag- he chuckled when he read it. ‘FRANK EAT ME’   
“Frank! We can’t go...I can’t find my hat, and my ears will fall off.” Sophie was about to cry so he quickly grabbed the beanie off himself and pulled it on to cover her ears. She looked ridiculous the hat obviously too big for her, but she looked happier. So he went into his- Karen’s room and grabbed his second favorite hat. The blue beanie.  
Frank grabbed the backpack and the key she left him ‘only incase of emergency’ and scribbled a note about where they went just incase she came home early and found them not there. “Let’s go!!”

It was fun, she had never been to the zoo before, so all the animals she looked at- she had only seen on tv or in the movies or in a book. Never in real life. When they ate lunch he bought them a lemonade to share, even though she drank almost all of it. Frank promised he would show her the movie Madagascar on movie night since she loved it here so much. He regretted not bringing the stroller because she was starting to get tired, but wouldn’t let him pick her up since she wanted to at least not break one of Karen’s rules.   
When they were headed back home on the subway, the repetitive motion of the train lulled her sleep and her head rested on his shoulder. Frank wouldn’t wake her when their stop came, so he had to pick her up, and his ribs only protested a little bit.   
He was walking through the familiar streets that lead to her apartment, he hadn’t noticed she had woken- “Frank? Do you think we’ll get in trouble?”  
Frank pulled his head back to look at her, “Why would we get in trouble?”  
“Because we broke all the rules. I didn’t do the job Kare gave me. I let us out the house, and I let you pick me up.”  
“Nah nah nah, little lady. You couldn’t have stopped me from going out if I really wanted to, and I picked you up all on my own. We’ll be fine, besides I won’t let the boss get too mad at you, ‘kay?”  
He couldn’t see her, but he felt her nod her head into his shoulder, then she sleepily spoke up, “Okay, ps I won’t let the boss get mad at you either….”

She couldn’t hear him, but he said it nonetheless- ”Thanks, kiddo.”


	13. A Broken Kiss pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was pretty long so I split it in two!! Tell me what you think is going to happen before you read the next part!! If anyone guesses close, i'll be very impressed!! LOL
> 
> KASTLE FREAKS UNITE!!

That friday Karen got out from work a little earlier than usual, so she decided her and Sophie would have time to do something after she picked her up from school and before dinner with Frank. This week had been great, after Karen chewed them out for going to the zoo on Monday- with a smile on her face, that meant she wasn't too mad, everything was perfect. Frank would cook them dinner after Karen got home from work, or after she picked Soph up from school- then they would do something fun. One night they watched a movie, wednesday they took Duck to the park, last night they played battleship, then it was time for bed. 

 Karen lived for the nights, she tried to be subtle about how much she enjoyed “checking his wounds”- then curling up next to him. She thought at first it would be strange adjusting to another body- a man in her bed. But it wasn't just any body- not just any man, it was Frank- and it was so easy. It hurt to think about how easy it was- to get used to him being there, in her home, in her bed, in her everyday life. 

She picked Sophie up and decided to treat her- they went to a cute little thrift shop on the corner of her street to look for a Halloween costume. Soph was jumping for joy, ready to hunt down a particular dress- a purple dress. Rapunzel's dress from Tangled, originally they looked online on the Disney store where they found the dress- but Soph didn't like how it looked. She said it looked ‘plastic’, and Karen kind of understood what she meant. So here they were, looking for a dress that would fit the profile. 

  Looking through the kiddy racks was a painstaking process, but Soph didn't really seem to mind- so Karen had to suck it up. 

“So what are you gonna be for Halloween, Kare?” 

Karen looked over at the girl who had a very concentrated look on her face, “I don't know, what do you think I should be?”

“Let me think….” Karen laughed in response before continuing the search, until she finally found the perfect one. 

 “I think it might be a little long, but I bet Frank can fix it.” He's stitched himself up so many times he was bound to know how to simply fix the hem on a dress for Soph. 

“I love it, it's so Tangled-y. Now we have to find one for you….”

Sophie took her hand and pulled her until they landed in the women's section, with little miss Sophie taking the lead- Karen didn't even know what she was looking for, she just held onto the dress they were going to buy- waiting.

 “I got it!” Sophie pulled on a hanger until it came down, “You can be Belle! The dress is yellow like in the movie- and it's my favorite color so you have to wear it.” 

Karen laughed before walking over and taking the dress out of her hands to look it over, it was pretty cute- and it looked like it would fit. It was a strange dress, a yellow dress with a bow that held the halter top of the dress together- then on a normal girl would end around the knee, but because she was a bit tall would end a bit below mid thigh.

 “So…. What color shoes does Belle wear with the dress?” Karen put the dress over her arm, walking further around the store.

“Does that mean you'll be Belle? Yeeeessss!!!” The little girl jumped up and down before saying she wasn't sure what shoes she had, but they were just going to have to watch the movie again to find out.

 “Then Frank can be Adam.”

“Adam? Whos Adam?”

Sophie looked at her in disbelief, “Prince Adam. Beast.”

 “Oh I don't know if he's gonna want to go trick or treating, Soph.” Besides even if he decided to come, she wasn't sure she could convince Frank to wear a costume. 

 “Well lets just buy him some stuff incase. I'll make him.” In the end they bought the two dresses and a white button up, with a dark blue vest type thing- that they hoped would fit him. Soph was talking about Halloween the whole way home, and they debated on whether she should wear real flowers or fake ones in her hair, but in the end decided finding pretty flowers this late in the season in New York would be hard- so fake flowers were going to be the answer. The little girl also formed her plan for operation PrinceFrank- Sophie would show Frank her purple dress in the morning, which would then lead her to tell him what he was gonna be on Halloween and she was determined it would work. 

  They got to their building and got in the elevator heading up, they got to her floor and walked towards her door. Soph and Karen could smell the food coming out the door, and their mouths watered- Karen tried to get her key in the door as fast as possible in order to get to the food faster. When the sound of keys jingled and the door was being they heard the excited barking of Duck coming to greet them.

 “Duckie!!! Were home, I missed you Duck.” Sophie sat on the floor and let Duck lather her face with kisses.

Karen laughed and made a mental note to make sure Soph cleaned her face before she ate and headed towards the kitchen, “Frank?”

 “In here!” She walked in the room that smelled of heaven and saw Frank chopping garlic wearing the only apron Karen owned and could hardly keep her giggles in.

 “Why Frank what amazing housewife you make!” Frank looked up at her and paused the chopping, before flipping her off and getting back to work.

“Smells good, what are we having?” 

“Just some Lasagne, then I figured we still have some ice cream in the freezer for dessert.” Karen could almost cry at how normal that sounded, and the vision of a family flashed before her eyes before quickly fading back to reality. 

 She cleared her throat before responding, “Sound good, I'll go get Soph and I cleaned up and ready for bed, I got to give her a bath. Think that'll be enough time?” 

 Frank nodded his head, “Yeah it should be done by the time you guys are done.”

 Karen gave Sophie a bath and braided her hair, then changed her into her pajamas, before slipping in for a quick shower herself, something felt off. It was bothering her, but she chose to ignore the feeling and put her own pj’s on instead. Dinner was great as usual, filled with smiles and laughter that almost made her forget that funny feeling-when it all came crashing down. 

 They were debating over which movie they were going to watch, Frank wanting to show her Madagascar, Karen for Mulan, and Sophie was pitching for Tangled yet again. Frank got up and started putting dishes in the sink, then he moved over towards the couch, and put something in the packed duffle bag that neither of the girls had noticed before. Karen's heart fell to her stomach. and she knew why she had that funny feeling. 

 Deep down Soph must have known too, cause it was her that spoke first. “What's that?”

Frank was still laughing when he looked over at the table to find two sets of eyes on the bag he was zipping up, his heart rate started to pick up- “A bag, silly.”

 Soph wasn't in the mood for jokes, “What for?”

“For when I go home…” It was silent for a long while, so Frank looked to break it, “For the movie I was thinki-”

 “So you're leaving?” Sophie's face was getting colder and the blue in her eyes more pronounced by the red rim that was starting to form.


	14. A Broken Kiss pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO??? What do you think?? Tell me if I did the kiss justice!!
> 
> KASTLE FREAKS UNITE!!

 “So you're leaving?” Sophie's face was getting colder and the blue in her eyes more pronounced by the red rim that was starting to form.

 Karen was still silent and hadn't spoken since she saw the bag, he looked to her for help explaining this- but found none. “Soph…. I'm feeling better, I'm not hurt anymore. I gotta- I gotta go home.”

  “Home. To your house.” She stood and Frank thought the girl might try to rush him, “I think I'm tired, I don't want to watch a movie. I'm gonna go to bed.” 

  She didn't look at him as she went over to Karen for a kiss goodnight, then walked towards Karen's bedroom and slammed the door closed. 

   Silence.

Frank heard himself swallow.

   Then his heartbeat in his ears.

All he could do was wait for Karen to yell at him for telling Sophie like that.

   He waited.

In silence.

  Then she spoke, “So beer? Wine? Both? I think both.”

That's it? That's all she’s gonna say? Frank watched her walk over to the fridge and get the whole six pack out, then two wine glasses and a bottle of red. She walked right past him and put the drinks on the coffee table, before moving his duffle off the couch and attaching a plastic bag to the side, all so she could sit comfortably. Didn't even say anything, just uncorked the bottle and poured herself a generous cup- and gulped half of it down. Slowly he stood up and edged his way closer to the other side of the couch- afraid to break the silence. 

  And that's what it was- silent. 

Then she picked up the remote and turned on some random channel, and stared at the screen. She wasn't even really looking at what was on the screen, she just didn't want to look at him, not until she had a little more liquid courage. So he did the same and grabbed a beer, following her lead. 

 It was almost an hour of silence and drinking, silent drinking- an awful combination. 

“I never thought I wanted kids, not after what happened to my brother.” It came out of nowhere, not the conversation he was thinking they would have. “I thought what's the point of loving something like that and losing it- what's the point in feeling that kind of love? And i'm not talking the fall in love kind of love, but the love that's ingrained in you the minute their born. The kind you have no control over…” 

 He looked over at her, and saw tears in her eyes- almost coming down, still staring at the tv.

“I thought that I understood you- that I understood loss. And maybe I do, a bit. But jesus, Frank-” She finally looked at him, and he saw the look of pain in her eyes that he felt most days. 

 “When you brought her here, I felt a lot of things- sad that she had to go through this, angry at what her father had done, and happy- fucking happy that you killed him for it. I felt a lot for her. But it wasn't until we were in the station that I knew, with her clutching onto me like her life depended on it- screaming after me when I had to leave her that I knew I loved her. That kind of love that felt like it was always there, that I was born to love her, to save her.” He knew where this was going, and he was close to tears himself. 

 “And that's when I knew I never understood you, not really. I couldn't, I'm not even sure if I do now- Because i've loved her for a few months….. But you- had years. God….. I'm- I'm so sorry Frank.” She rushed forward a hug that ambushed him. She sobbed into his shoulder, he cried into her neck. 

 Frank couldn't tell you how long they sat there like that, he’d soaked her shirt, she slipped her fingers through his short hair- they both pulled back and rested their foreheads together. Eyes closed, tears all over both their faces.

 He couldn't tell you who leaned in first, how it started- but then they had kissed. A sweet kiss, wet from their tears, a messy kiss. One of them had a runny nose though he didn't know who, a sticky kiss. He could taste the wine on her lips, a heady kiss. It was quick, no tongue. Messy, it was them. A broken kiss. That broke their hearts and healed them at the same time. That changed everything. That changed nothing. A beautiful kiss. 

  After that one moment that happened in a second, but felt like a lifetime- she rested her head on his shoulder. For who knows how long, all he felt were her even breaths that told him she had fallen asleep, so he scooped up her long body and walked to her bedroom. The room was silent except for Sophie’s quiet snores, Frank tucked Karen in and got up. He cleaned the living room, threw out the empty bottles, got a cup of water and a bottle of Advil. Frank put them on the bedside table beside her sleeping head, and did what she did all those days ago- placed a kiss on both his girls heads.

  Picked up his bag, and told himself he was only keeping the key so  he could lock up- thought about taking Duck then immediately saying no, Duck wanted to be here and wouldn't leave unless he dragged him. Duck was home. Frank looked at the clock, wanting to know the exact time he left this perfect place- one twenty two in the morning. 


	15. Chapter 15

It was almost two weeks until Karen next saw Frank Castle. She woke up the next morning, and thought about all that had happened the night before- the kiss. After everything she had been through with Frank, first the hospital, then his case, Schoonover, looking for Micro, Lewis and the bomb, Sophie- everything. Of course it was fitting that this would be how their first kiss went. She fell asleep and he had brought her here, she hadn't seen him go- but she knew he was gone. And she knew Sophie was going to be devastated- the girl loved him and had been heartbroken the night before and she could tell Sophie was going to need a lot more sleep if she spent most the night crying. So Karen got up and tried to be as silent as possible- hoping to let her catch up on some much needed sleep, coffee was what she needed. But before she could leave the room she spotted the Advil and water next to the bed, and  grabbed it knowing she would need it. The headache was already brewing, Karen was stopped in her tracks when she spotted Duck- an unexpected surprise. She had assumed Frank would take him with him when he left, but insead here the dog was- happy and unaffected. She couldn't tell you why she thought last night felt like such a goodbye, he had never said that he wouldn't be back- but a weight in her chest told her Frank would never return. Maybe she was wrong and maybe he would be here next Friday for movie night, but she wouldn't let her hopes get up until she actually saw him. 

  Karen had tried to talk about him with Sophie almost all week, but each time she brought him up to the little girl- she shut it down. It was that thursday after she and Soph finished dinner, Karen was cleaning up after them and Sophie was playing hide and seek with Duck, when she got the text.  

_ Can't make it tomorrow. Got work in Jersey. Tell her i'm sorry.- F _

  He wasn't coming, and Karen couldn't say she was too surprised but she knew Soph would be crushed. And Karen was dreading having to tell her, but it had to be done. 

 “Soph c’mere..” The smiling little girl popped up with Duck trailing close behind, Karen scooped her up and sat her on the kitchen counter. 

“Whats up?”

“Well I was thinking that since Halloween is next week, we could go to a pumpkin patch and buy one or two for carving. What do you think, you ever carved a pumpkin before?” Karen was hoping this would be something Sophie wanted to do since she wanted to treat her before dropping the Frank bomb.

 “Carve a pumpkin?! Oooo could we bring Duck with us? To the pumpkin patch, i'll bet he’d love it.” Sophie was clearly excited and Karen didn't see why Duck couldn't cme so she agreed.

 “Yeah i'm sure he can come, I think we should rent a car for tomorrow then. I'm not sure if you can bring a dog on the train upstate anyway, besides it'll be easier to put the pumpkins in the car to get home. I'll ask Ellison if I can have off from work tomorrow, and i'll call you in sick from school.” 

 The little girl had a crease in her eyebrow, “Tomorrow?”

God, this was it. She was going to have to tell her, “Yeah I was thinking tomorrow would be a good day to do it.”

   “Like in the morning? But we'll still be back in time for movie night, right?”

She took a deep breath before answering, “We can come back and watch a movie if you want- maybe the Nightmare before Christmas…. But Frank can't make it tomorrow.”

  “Why?” Her blue eyes were filling with tears as she looked up at Karen.

“He can't come, he has work. Frank texted me- he wanted me to tell you he's sorry.”

  Sophie didn't respond to that, and Karen wanted to let her have a few minutes to process- so she stood silently in front of the little girl. Sophie put her arms out, and Karen immediately pulled her small body into her arms, she walked towards Soph’s bedroom and closed the door- but let Duck in when he whined. Duck could tell Sophie was upset and wanted to comfort his little love. 

  “Kare…. He never misses fridays. Why does… Can-” Sophie didn't finish her sentence, instead sat with her head tucked under Karen's chin. 

“I know, sweetie. I know….” Her hand went up and down the little girls back, soothing her the best way she knew. 

  “Is he ever coming back?” The question was so innocent- yet one Karen had asked herself many times before. A constant question when asked about Frank Castle. 

And Karen couldn't lie, she wouldn't- not if she didn't know the answer herself, she didn't want Sophie to feel the disappointment she felt every time she thought he would be back- and wasn't. 

 “I don't know, Soph.” She nodded her head and pulled back from Karen, placed a kiss on each of Karen's cheeks- before curling up under the covers and Duck jumped up to take Karen's vacant spot.  

 Her heart broke that she wasn't able to give a more sure answer, but that's how it was with Frank- amazing while it lasted, painful when he was gone. She sat on the couch and brought a beer with her, turned the tv on and saw some HGTV show pop up that finally filled the silence. The silence that left her with only her own thoughts- thoughts that she made Karen afraid she was the reason Frank wasn't coming back. That the kiss had been a mistake- a beautiful mistake that split her heart in half, that pulled it out and offered half to him on a silver platter. 

 Who was she now? A few months ago she’d still be in the Bulletin offices- be there until two in the morning, but now here she was dead-tired at eight thirty at night. And she liked it, couldn't complain or regret taking Sophie in- this was her now. 

  Karen brushed her teeth and was going around the apartment checking the windows, and the locks on the door- a habit Frank had ingrained in her since he arrived. Everything looked good, her bed calling to her- when she heard a knock on the door. 

    Frank?

No… He had a key- it had to be someone else. She grabbed her gun and walked over to the door as silent as possible, looking through the peephole- what was he doing here? Instantly she relaxed and started unlocking the locks until the door slid open, “Hey.”

  Opening the door she walked ahead gesturing for him to follow, “What are you doing here, David?”

  “Wow, now I can see why you two are friends- nice gun. But no, not just a social call- I just came by to drop something off for Frank, he here?” David walked forward and sat on the same couch- in the same room- in the same spot she had last seen the man he was looking for. 

 She started laughing, soul shaking, heart breaking laughter- that somewhat startled him. “No. He's not here, Frank left friday- gone. Poof! But uh- shouldn't you know that, Mr I-already-know-where-you-live?” 

 He looked at her with disbelief, “No-no-no-no-no…. What do you mean he's gone? Shit…..” 

“Gone. Left the dog, left us- I woke up and he was gone, I thought you knew.” This wasn't a conversation she thought she would be having tonight, she'd already had to deal with talking about Frank to Soph- now she had to tell this guy.

 “I stopped looking up his phone last week, he was hurt and here- and everytime I would check in he was here. I didn't think he would leave. Why’d he leave? Do you know where he is?”

  “Why did he leave? I don't know why does Frank do anything? I mean- who knows why he left.” She paused and rubbed her hand across her face before admitting, “Alright I might know part of the reason he left, but he had already decided to go when it happened.”

  David was on his phone, presumably tracking him down- “What happened?”

“I don't know, a lot. But he sure booked it afterwards.”

  “Well tomorrows friday- he always comes over on fridays, right?”

“No he's not coming- he texted me earlier. Something about being sorry he couldn't make it, he was doing some work in Jersey, I don't know.” The man looked up at her, and she knew this was Frank's friend- or as close to a friend as Frank could have, but she needed to vent and he was one of the few people who actually knew him. She didn't care if he would tell him what she said, anything Karen had to say about Frank- he could hear. Frank knew how she felt- at least how she felt about him leaving. “He’s alone. But he doesn't have to be and I don't know what i'm supposed to do- about him or Sophie. She doesn't understand why he left, and frankly neither do I, but I don't know what I should say to make her feel better.”

  David saw the tears that were threatening to spill, but she was determined to keep them from falling- and all he could see was his wife. All he saw when he looked at her was what he saw when he looked into Sarah's eyes on a bad day- a woman who had to deal with the fucked up mind of someone who they should leave behind, but won't because she loves him. He saw that when he reunited with his family- he saw love in Sarah's eyes, but also anger that he had done this to her and he thought she was going to leave him- that she should leave him but wouldn't because Sarah and him were meant to be. 

 He saw the same look of love/anger in Karens eyes as he saw in Sarahs- and if Frank was too dumb to fight for it- then he would do it for him. 

 “I'm sorry Karen, I'll find him- I'll find him and I'll make him see sense-”

She cut him off, “No- no you can find him, but I don't want him here if he's too stubborn to admit that he wants to be. I won't force him to be here if he doesn't want to be.”

 “I'm gonna find him- I will.” David got up and headed towards the door, ready to start his search-

 “You do that.” Karen opened the door for him and saw him out, finally ready for this day to be over before anyone else could show up at her door. Unbeknownst to her if she would ever see Frank Castle again, when in reality it wouldn't be another few days before he came back to her- to them.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to say I know it’s been a few days, but I have a real question I need the people reading this to answer in the comments. I’ve been wondering if i should update once a week- or update as often as I can, which might be more sporadic. Any and all comments left on here help me with th direction I think my doc should be going- so please help me out y’all!!  
> Ps did you guys see the new Solo trailer, what did you think? Yay or nay (khaleesi tho)  
> PSS every time I see the trailer for Black Panther I get more and more hyped for it- I can’t wait!!!  
> Okay get to reading!! Lol

He sat in the bed- waiting. That was what he hated most, aside from the pain in his face- it was the waiting that killed him. He knew his men would come for him, it was the contingency that guaranteed that they wouldn’t get paid unless they extracted him from custody.  
Money guaranteed him his freedom- and his freedom wasn’t something happiness could buy, only money could save him now. And it was something only someone who grew up with nothing could know. And now that’s all he was left with- stashed away money. No more pretty face or suave comments would work- he was destroyed. And Frank was gonna pay for that.  
He heard a commotion out in the hall and knew it was his men, finally the door opened and a man walked in dragging another in behind him.  
“Hello, sir.”  
“What the fuck took so long? I been in here for months!”  
He started pulling at the IVs connected to him and his man started to help- “I’m sorry, sir. We had to wait until police presence died down. And today there was only three guards assigned to you- easy to infiltrate, execute and extract.”  
Finally he stood up and his legs felt like jelly- he hadn’t walked in a really long time, but it was time to go.  
“Do you want to take off the…..” The man gestured to the bandages on his face- they weren’t the most inconspicuous.  
“Just yank em and give me that hoodie.” His man followed his instructions- and he had to hold back the scream as his skin pulled and the bandages left his scarred skin.  
He hadn’t seen himself yet- they hadn’t taken the bandages or given him a mirror, so he turned to look at his reflection in the window- and didn’t recognize himself.  
He was sure, Billy was gonna kill Frank Castle if it was the last thing he did.

  
It was closing in on one thirty as Frank walked down the dark street- he had left them and he wasn’t sure if he was going back, if he could go back. The look on Sophie’s face when he told her he was going would be burned into his memory the rest of his life. The whole night would never be forgotten, it had gone in a completely different direction than he expected.  
Before the girls got home he made dinner as per usual, then they finally came back with bags of stuff he was sure he’d get the down low on later. He was dreading having to tell them, Frank wasn’t sure how to bring it up- he kept putting it off. Thinking maybe Sophie would cry and Karen would yell, he thought maybe letting them come to the conclusion that he was leaving would be best. Frank wasn’t planning on leaving forever- he would be back that Friday.  
So he decided to bite the bullet and he walked over to his duffel- then it went silent. No tears like he expected- no yelling like he was sure would happen. Just silence.  
No goodbye from Sophie, just a slam of the door- and uncomfortable silence. Then she brought out the alcohol and he thought, even better an uncomfortable conversation that had yet to happen mixed with alcohol- smart.  
It was all a blur after that, Frank couldn’t tell you the exact words that she said- just that they meant the world to him. Finally someone who could understand that no matter how much they tried they would never truly understand- and it relieved him. That that person could be Karen- she could be the one who understood his inability to be understood, and was okay with it.  
Then the kiss. Oh the kiss that would be branded in his mind for the rest of his life- he could tell you the basics of his first kiss with Maria, that kiss started the path to a family with her that he loved. But his family with her was what he remembered most about them- not any particular kiss. With Karen though- he would always remember this kiss, he would because he didn’t realize how long they had been dancing around each other. That kiss was amazingly beautiful, it was painfully exquisite- and it scared him.  
He was afraid of what it meant- for him. For Karen. For Sophie. What did it all mean? And what was he doing sneaking out of the house to run away like a scared little kid, for once Frank didn’t know what to do.  
His whole life he knew where he stood, with his parents- with the military, with Maria and the kids. Then when they were murdered he knew what he had to do, it was a path he knew he had to follow- he’ll admit sometimes he was a bit unsure of how to do things. But he always knew they had to be done.  
This. This was different. He was on unsteady ground- knowing he had to continue his mission, knowing that was the only way he felt he could honor his family. But with her- with them, he was unsure. Unknowingly those girls had already pulled him into their lives- and he hadn’t resisted, he went willingly. But when he had a second to think about it, he wasn’t sure if he could continue with them. Was it dishonoring his family? Could he be both of the people with them? The Punisher-who needed to kill, and Frank Castle- family man? Could he be both? Was he allowed to be?  
He couldn’t do this- Frank needed to think. He needed silence- needed to be alone. Needed to think.  
Needed to be somewhere else.  
Needed to be not in New York.  
Not near Karen.  
Not near anyone.  
Alone.  
Without his dog. He couldn’t take him even if he wanted to. Duck loved his new home, he was happy with the girls- Duck loved them. And a small part of him was happy he left Duck behind- knowing his protective dog wouldn’t let anything happen to his girls made him feel the slightest bit better.  
Frank couldn’t be here. Couldn’t be in this city that left him constantly filled with memories and dreams.  
So he adjusted his bag on his shoulder and headed straight for grand central- hoping there would be a greyhound that would take off near two in the morning.  
“Hello sir, how can I help you?”  
“I need a greyhound ticket.”  
“Where too?”  
“Anywhere, the next one available.” She looked up at him then, curiosity clear in her eyes.  
“Well there’s one to Georgia leaving right now, so I don’t think you’ll make that one… But there is a bus in fifteen minutes heading up to Maine. Will that be acceptable, sir?”  
“Yeah, yeah it’s fine.”  
The woman started typing info into her computer, asking for identification- for which he provided a fake. Not wanting anyone to know where he was going, and knew this would be the best way to keep his location a secret for as long as possible.  
“So just a spur of the moment vacation?” She was fishing, and he wasn’t the small talk kinda person so he just nodded- she was obviously disappointed not getting anymore out of him. He couldn’t blame her, Frank couldn’t imagine how dreadfully boring working the night owl shift could be- she probably asked anyone who came by the same question, just to break the silence.  
And normally he’d play along if only to make up a crazy far out story she’d never forget, but right now he wasn’t in the mood.  
“Here you go, two thirty bus to Maine- you might want to head over now. I doubt it’ll be crowded, but sometimes the drivers leave a few minutes early if they don’t think anyone else is coming.”  
“Thank you, ma’am.” Karen’s face flashed in front of his eyes and he couldn’t stop the ache in his chest from stabbing him right in the heart.  
He slept most of the trip with no particular place in mind to stop, just thinking he’ll ride it till the end of the line. The bus was stopped in a small town for a lunch break- when he looked out at the water, and he knew. He knew this was the place to think- a small quiet town. A place he wouldn’t stay long enough for anyone to get to know him- just a place he could just be.  
He bought a few nights at the local b&b near the water, Frank was rarely there enough for the owners to pester him- most of the time he sat by the lake. Sat there in the morning, watched the sunrise- then again at dusk, watching the sunset. When he was in town he went to the local bar, got a few drinks- and thought some more. The only time he spoke when he was in the little town was to say, ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. The only other time he spoke was to himself, or the only exception was local shop owner- “How much for the fishing rod?”  
“That rod? That’s a beauty-” The man was obviously trying to fool him into paying extra for something you could normally buy for pretty cheap, but Frank wasn’t about to get into it over something so stupid.  
“I’d say it should be two fifty, but since you look like you know what your talking about I’ll give it to ya for two hundred.”  
He did know what he was talking about, his grandfather had been the one to show him how to fish, and he wasn’t an expert but he knew this was not worth two hundred dollars.  
“No. One hundred.”  
“Fine you drive a hard bargain. One fifty.”  
“One hundred.”  
“Alright, alright- one twenty five?”  
He was silent, he just looked the slimy looking man. One look from Frank Castle was enough.  
“Fine, I’ll take one hundred.”  
That was pretty much all he said to anyone the whole trip, the only thing he did other than relearn how to fish and watch sunsets was think.  
About who he was. Who he wanted to be. And he realized those two parts of himself weren’t all that different. Frank was okay with who he was, and he didn’t want to be anyone else other than himself. And Karen seemed to understand that, after he came back to her place injured and bleeding out- she never asked him to stop being the punisher. All she asked was for him to be more careful with not getting his faces bashed in. And he was okay with that- right after she asked he changed his routines trying to have less hand to hand combat- but when that was needed, he tried his best to protect his face. Not for vanity, but because she asked something so reasonable- for her, for Sophie. That’s what confused him, every morning he woke up he was completely fine with doing absolutely anything to keep Karen and Sophie safe and happy, and he didn’t feel guilty about that. But when he thought about long term, when he pictured them happy- with him. Sophie growing up, Karen growing old right beside him- that’s when he felt the guilt. Felt it all the way through his body- a deep heavy guilt that weighed him down.  
So he would try to picture a life for them without him, because he didn’t deserve it- and he would get angry. Angry at the next man who saw how smart and beautiful his Karen was, angry at the next man Sophie might grow attached too. Sad to think of a life without them in it. And what life would he have? If they weren’t there, what would he do? Just keep killing people every night, then go home- no go back to his apartment at four in the morning and sleep until it was time to start again. Become nocturnal? Just waiting till he got caught or killed? Is that what he deserved? Because when he pictured that, it wasn’t a life- it was a life sentence. He would never be happy.  
But did he deserve to be happy? Is that what he deserved? After everything that’s happened, after everything he’s been through- did Frank Castle deserve a life?  
On the bus back he still didn’t have his answer- but he was tired of the repetitiveness of the past few days. He was tired. Sure, Frank had slept- but it wasn’t a sleep he was used to. He had gotten used to Karen’s bed. Another thing he had to admit to himself- it wasn’t just the bed he got used too. It was Karen, her warm body next to him. She flopped around and stole most of the sheets, but it was the best sleep he had in a long time. Then on fridays, Sophie would join them- sleep in their bed. The little girl would curl around Franks arm, and the first time it happened he hadn’t fallen asleep for hours- too afraid to move and wake her.  
The plastic bag that was attached to his bag before he left now sat in the top of his bag- careful not to crinkle. At first when Frank had finally decided to open it, he was confused- it was a dark blue vest with dark yellow snap buttons that were almost fading. It looked like it was an old vest for the university of Michigan, with the colors- then a white dress shirt that hardly fit. And finally a homemade plastic name tag that said, ‘Beast’  
And it couldn’t be more accurate, that’s what he was- a wild beast that would bite the hands that tried to feed it. Now he knew why he girls had come in that night laughing and giggling like hyenas- they went Halloween shopping. All before they could ask him to be the brooding character from Beauty and the Beast. And he had ruined it, as per usual-  
So he dropped off his duffel, costume and all- in the dark and depressing place he still paid rent for- despite not being there for weeks. It was late Wednesday night- early Thursday, closing in on two in the morning, when he decided he needed to let out some energy- so he grabbed his gun and vest and headed out. Looking for trouble.  
And trouble he found, these men were about to rob an armored car- the type that was named by incompetent ‘paid security’. They were just about to shoot the driver when Frank swooped in.  
He shot the man with the sniper rifle straight through the head- red bloody brain splattered on the cream wall beside him. The next man was still unaware they were under attack, so he snuck up from behind and put him in a choke hold- held him while his face turned purple and his feet grew slack, until finally he snapped his neck. The third man heard the commotion and knew he was being hunted- this man was a shorter man, but stocky and built. A bald man with a beard that looked unkempt- another face he would never forget, another to add to the list of people he had killed. Another face that would haunt him when he died. Better men might say it was another face that didn’t need to be there, that didn’t need to be killed. But Frank knew the truth- this man deserved to die, Frank could see it in his eyes- a look that no doubt was in his own. The look of a killer. Because that’s what he was- a killer. And he wasn’t afraid to admit that- some people needed killing.  
With that thought the man rushed him, a rookie mistake- putting Frank on the defensive. An easy way to see your opponents weakness was to see how they would respond if initiating the attack- if this man were as experienced as himself it wouldn’t matter who started the attacks. But this man wasn’t as good- and Frank took advantage of that. The knife he carried in his belt coming out and being lodged in his opponents neck. It was surprisingly easy to kill a person this way- you’d think it would be harder to pierce a person's skin, but it wasn’t. The neck was an easy place that bled fast and when injured in any way- almost impossible to survive.  
The man dropped to his knees and Frank turned to the fourth man, who immediately started shooting at Frank. With a nine millimeter glock- the man was obviously panicking after watching his three coworkers die in front of him, so his shooting wasn’t as accurate. The man missed Frank twice before finally connecting with his vest- and he felt the shock in his chest you feel when shot with a vest on. Like an angry punch- that he had learned to ignore and keep going, Frank rushed him and tackled him to the ground. His fists flew at the man underneath him, he could feel his knuckles split, and the man's nose break beneath the force- and he kept going.  
Until he stopped and listened to the mans wheezing, “Who do you work for?” Frank was panting the pain in his ribs from his earlier injury coming back- but he pushed through.  
“I don’t know man.”  
Punch.  
“C’mon man, I don’t.”  
Punch.  
“I can’t-“  
Punch. Punch.  
“I-”  
Punch. Punch. Punch. Punch.  
“Alright- alright…” The words came out gurgled and hard to understand. Blood trickled down the corners of his mouth and every other part of his face.  
“Let me hear it.”  
“Two other crews besides ours were supposed to go looking for armored trucks to rob and steal, then take to a location tomorrow night.”  
Punch. “What location?”  
“Hey I’m talkin’! I’m talkin’! In jersey. A small warehouse in Trenton. Off Central.”  
Frank stored that information away for later, knowing if this was the first part of the plan it could get a lot worse.  
“When?”  
“Tomorrow. Three in the morning. That’s all I know, I swear!” He man had a tattoo he could barely make out under all the blood, and Frank nodded.  
“Fair enough.” Then he shot him- straight in the head. Then blood went everywhere, all around the head, up onto himself- everywhere.  
Then Frank left- went back to his place. Slept. Dreamt. Of Friday’s, and movies- and smiles, and blonde hair.  
And he woke up knowing he wasn’t going to go to movie night with his girls- because he might be dead and maybe a little because he was afraid to face them.  
So he did the next best thing. A text.  
He’d never really sent a text- always preferring to call someone or say it face to face. But he couldn’t call her. Not now. And not if he wanted to go to that warehouse tonight, because if she asked him to come back- to come home- he would. And he couldn’t do that, not now- not yet.  
So he sent it.  
Can’t make it tomorrow. I got work in Jersey. Tell her i’m sorry.  
Frank turned off his phone, not wanting to know if she responded- hoping she would, knowing she probably wouldn’t. But if he died tonight he wanted to die thinking just maybe she sent a text back asking him to come home. He hoped she could tell that sorry wasn’t just for Soph, but for her as well. It had been almost a week since he last saw them- a week of nothing. A week that meant nothing. Accomplished nothing. Because as much as he wanted to say that the trip to the lake helped him think- it didn’t. It just left him alone- with his thoughts. A scary place to be. Alone- with one's thoughts.  
So he waited until three- until all the men were there. Then he went in. Guns blazing- death hung around him like a cheap perfume, touching every person he came in contact with him. Leaving the stench of death that followed him through the whole warehouse- a scent that he hated but embraced. Death was his friend- one he never wanted to face, but worked with side by side.  
The whole thing was a blur, a bloody messy blur. And the worst part was that after his whole calm and peaceful trip, he couldn’t accomplish a since thing- single thought that was of any importance. But here, with death fighting beside him- it was clear. He finally had an answer- not the answer. But an answer he could work with.  
Frank left the building with his perfumed friend beside him, looking at the date- knowing he had a place to be.

The man watched the cameras, watching Frank Castle kill all the men he sent to lure him out. And despite all the blood and gore it was beautiful. It was beautiful because he had finally found him. And he wasn’t going to let him go, not this time-his gruesome scars lifted in an off putting smile when he lifted his hoodie to follow the man- and wait for the perfect moment to slit his throat.

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be honest here and I need all of your opinions on the matter.... SO plzzz coment your thought on what im about to say!!!  
> Im not a huge fan of the super happy fake ending in some fics, but ultimately I do want Kastle & Co to end on a happy note, but I was wondering how y'all would feel about the story having a darker tone for the ending.  
> Considering the show it not that far a stretch that their story might be dark- but I want to know whether you are into it or not.  
> Because I think I have a good ending that could work out- so PLEASE TELL ME WHAT U THINK!!

 “You almost ready to go, Soph?” Karen stood in the living room waiting on the little girl to come out in her full costume. Sophie wanted it to be like a fashion show, and wouldn’t let Karen see her in the dress until it was time to go.

 She was so into her costume she made Karen braid her hair at least two hours before she had to start getting ready, and then she had to rebraid it right before she got in the dress because she had been touching it so much.

 “Yeah, I’m coming out! Close your eyes..” She heard Sophie’s door open, so Karen dramatically put both of her hands in front of her face- ready for the big reveal.

 “Tadaaaaaaa! I’m Rapunzel!!” She spun around in her little purple dress before belting out, “ _Standing here it’s oh so clear- I’m where I’m meant to be!!! And at last I see the light! And it’s like the fog has lifted-”_ Sophie was singing her favorite song of the movie- as she called it the song with the braid- she was readying to recreate the whole song before Karen stopped her.

  “Okay, okay little miss broadway. You ready to go? ” Before she could continue she knelt down in front of the little girl, and handed her the plastic tiara they bought at the dollar store- and gestured for her to put it on Karen's head.

 Originally Karen bought two tiaras, one for each of them- but Sophie had refused to wear hers as ‘she didn't wear one in the movie so I can't wear one either, so instead Karen was the only one wearing it. “Yeah I'm ready. But we still have to dress Duck.”

 They had bought him an outfit from this hipster-y dog place up the street, with ridiculously expensive costumes. The only reason she agreed to buy it was because of how little they spent on their own costumes, seeing as how they bought them at a thrift shop- she thought they might as well spend a little extra to make Sophie happy. So they bought a bright green chameleon for Duck, and he looked adorable. But they bought that back before Frank left.

 “Soph, I don't think we can bring Duck tonight.”

“Why not?”

   “Well, I can't walk up to the doors with you, and bring Duck with us.”

“Why can't he come up to trick or treat with us?”

    “Because some people are afraid of dogs that look like Duck, and will think he's bad.”

“But he's not. Duck’s a good boy!”

    “I know that, you know that. But other people don't and might freak out if he's anywhere near their kids.”

  “That's not fair- they don't even know Duck, and I need him- he's my sidekick. He's been looking forward to it- I know he has.”

  “I'm sorry sweetie, sometimes stupid people, think stupid things because they're stupid. And unfortunately we can't change the way people think. And people think that dogs like Duck can be bad, so I think we're going to have to leave him behind because I can't watch both of you.”

  Sophie bent down in front of the excited pooch, and pulled him in for a hug. Karen smiled at the little girl and her dog- because the more time Duck stayed with them, made him more and  more hers. This dog no longer belonged to anyone other than Sophie- the obvious love that mirrored in both their eyes was easy to see.

 “Okay. We’ll just have to take him on an extra long walk tomorrow. I hope he won't be too sad he doesn't get to go with us.” Sophie sighed in disappointment, and Karen joined her knowing this night was going to be a long one.

 “He’ll be fine Soph, we’ll just have to pick up an extra special dog treat for him after the walk tomorrow.” The little girl nodded in agreement, and Karen took that as acknowledgment that it was time to go. So she slipped on the shiny cream flats, that she hoped would do Belle justice, and put a matching cream cardigan to help bite the chill.

  They were just about out the door-keys in the lock, already a goodbye to Duck, when Karen remembered the one thing Soph would need for tonight. “Hey don't want to forget your pumpkin head, where would you put all the candy?”

 Her eyes widened in horror of the thought that she could have forgotten the vessel that would carry all her loot, before rushing back in to grab it from her room.

 They walked out the building, and the streets were already bustling with costumed kids- it was only six o'clock and the sun was set in New York. It was already getting crazy, overbearing yelling parents ran after unruly kids, which made Karen's hand tighten a little bit extra after already making it clear to Soph not to let go. And despite how insane it was already getting- it was completely worth it. As far as Karen could tell this was the first Halloween Sophie could remember enjoying- finally making a good memory that would trump the awful times that came before.

 Her excitement was palpable, and she was adorable- the little girl got many compliments. Ones that usually were followed by a look at Karen behind her, and a ‘you and your daughter look so cute!’ Karen didn't really mind if people thought Soph was her daugher- because technically she was, but she didn't want to confuse Sophie. Luckily Sophie was so caught up in her enjoyment of the holiday, she wasn't really paying attention.

 But just because it was a bit of a crazy night didn't mean Karen didn't enjoy it as well, she loved how happy Soph was- and seeing all the kids costumes were actually really fun. Her favorites so far was a middle schooler dressed as the girl from Juno, with the fake belly and big gulp soda to go along with it- her other favorite was a baby dressed as Jon Snow, and she couldn't stop laughing at that one.

 “Is that…” Sophie stopped talking as she looked behind Karen, before a grin that had nothing to do with all the sugar spread across her face.

 That's when she turned around to take in the person Sophie was talking about- thinking it would be a person dressed a movie or tv character she knew, was instead someone she thought might never come back.

 It was Frank Castle, standing in the clothes they bought him and a dressed up dog at his side- with a single red rose to complete the look. Sophie’s hand pulled from her own as she ran towards Frank and Duck, but all Karen could do was stare.

Stare at him because she thought he might never be back.

  Stare because Sophie welcomed him back with open arms.

Stare because Soph acted like nothing had happened.

 And maybe nothing had happened for her- all Soph knew was that he chose not to live with them and then couldn't make it to movie night because he had work.

 What she wasn't remembering was how there were no calls.

What she was forgetting was all the tears she shed when he left.

  But Karen wouldn't forget- she couldn't. Karen couldn't allow herself to forget. She would make herself remember this, when she would try to convince herself it would be different. But until Frank accepted who he was- the life he was creating despite trying his very best not to- until then it would never be different. So she would always have to be vigilant, and careful.

 Karen calmly walked towards the other half of her costume, slowly marched towards the Beast to her Beauty- and stood in front of the man she had kissed not to long ago. A kiss she had dreamt about happening for many months before.

 When she first had that dream with him of all people- she had been shocked, and then disgusted with herself for thinking such a thing. Then she thought who was she to deny herself her fantasies- she could think about it, doesn't mean she had to act on it. So when it finally happened it was nothing like she dreamed of- yet so much more.

   And all he said was, “Hey.”

Frank could clearly see the anger simmering in her eyes, and knew this could be bad- but then he saw her eyes glance down to the little girl between them. And he knew she wouldn't blow up, Karen wouldn't want to ruin Soph’s night, he wasn't sure what his punishment from the woman in yellow would be- but he knew it would be a long time before he was done making up for his absence, if not from her than from himself.

   He had moped around his apartment for at least three days, thinking about how he might approach Sophie and Karen- what he might say when them met face to face. Then he got a call from David, “Where the hell you been?”

 “I don't know, I had things that needed sorting.”

There was a pause before David responded, knowing what needed sorting wasn't a thing or person, but himself- his brain. “And is it? Sorted?”

  “Might be…”

“I went and saw Karen, is that what this is about?”

 The silence said it all, words weren't needed to answer Davids question.

“You gotta talk to her man- it's only right she gets to know what it is your sorting about.”

Frank’s dry laugh was what he got in response, “Says the man who let his wife think he was dead for a year before sayin anything.”

 “Ahh but she was my wife- that's what being married is. Waiting for the other person to say the wrong thing- do the wrong thing. Byt Karen ain't gonna wait forever.”

David could hear Frank getting heated over the phone- his voice escalating, “So what am I supposed to do? Just show up at the house?”

  “Well maybe wait a few days, it's about to be Halloween, and you don't want it to be wrapped up in that craziness- trust me findin a costume sucks.” That's when it hit him, he already had a costume- something both Karen and Sophie wanted him to wear. So he made the decision to show up on halloween, he even stopped by the florist to complete the costume with a single red rose- before showing up at their place.

  And when they didn't answer, he’d be lying if he said his heart rate picked up, worried at where they might be. Then he figured they must already be trick or treating- but he decided he should chen in anyway, so he used his key to get in. And was greeted by a very enthusiastic dog, his duck was beautful and had a large green fabric in his mouth. What looked like a costume- so he put the dog in it, and took him out- deciding to walk off his nerves and hope to find them along the way. And found them he did.

   “Nice accessory, both of them.” She gestured towards the rose then the leash in his hand.

“Yeah well I needed the rose, but I figured Duck would complete the look- how’d I do?” He did a tiny spin to show her the whole outfit.

  “Nice. Very Disney-chic…” Yes this would be terribly awkward- until he could fix it.


	18. Sophie's Blues Pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The opening ceremonies have been happening!! Did you guys see the fringed gloves for team USA!! LOL  
> Where you guys from??  
> I'm from Los Angeles, CA  
> PS This might not be a big deal to other authors- but I'm almost at a 1000 hits so THANK YOU!!!

 It had been a cold few weeks for Frank, not only in the quality of air since Halloween, which had considerably dropped in temperature- but also with one of his girls. Things with Sophie were great, she hardly even mentioned the fact that he had left, and was extremely happy whenever he came by. Even asking him to stay over on fridays, which he would be happy to do if it weren’t for the silent treatment he received from one Karen Page. 

 She was cold, icy- the below zero, frozen heart type silent treatment. And he couldn’t deny that it worked, every time he went over he would try or do anything that would get her to acknowledge him. Sure she would be courteous to him for Sophie’s sake, but Friday’s were no longer days they all enjoyed- now Sophie had fun while the two adults beside her danced around each other in a game of ‘who can be less awkward’ 

 It had been three Friday’s of awkwardness since Halloween but he couldn’t give up- he couldn't leave them again. He had to prove to Karen that he could be trusted again, and the only way to do that would be to go through all she had to throw at him to prove he would stick it out. No matter how long it took.  

  The Lieberman’s had made him come over for Sunday night dinner this weekend, and it had been great. The kids were there, the rosé was flowin, and he was stuffed- it was around seven and the kids were in their rooms finishing whatever homework they had left for school tomorrow. So when he was sitting with David in his office he was shocked when his phone rang. Only two people really called him, and one of them was sitting across from him. 

 Karen. 

Panic bloomed in his chest- something he couldn't control.

 “Karen? What is it? What's wrong?”

_ Nothing's really wrong, don't panic Frank. Were fine. I just- _

 She stopped talking and he knew she was frustrated. 

_ Sophie and I got into a fight today, and now she won't talk to me. Or let me in her room… I just don't know what to do. _

__ “Well what happened? What were you fighting about?”

_ We went to go see Ruth today, at social services. She was fine, her usual self- then out of nowhere she started acting up and I tried talking to her about it when we were headed home and she just freaked out and started pouting- and she wouldn't talk to me and still won't! _

__ “Has she eaten?” Frank started getting his things together, knowing what would be coming. 

_ No, she won't come out- and won't let me in. Look Frank….. I know it's been kinda rocky between us but I need-  _ She paused and Frank would never admit to himself or anyone else what he word he wanted her to say- You. 

_ She’s always on her best behavior when your around. Could you- can you come over and talk to her? Sophie's too mad at me right now, but she always wants you. So I'm counting on the fact that she won't want to upset you. Will you come? _

__  “Of course Karen, you don't have to ask. I'm on my way, I'll be there in about forty five-”

David cut him off, “Less. I'll drive you.”

 “Okay then i'll be there in about twenty, okay?”

_ Thank you, Frank. And thank David for me too.  _  She’d obviously heard him talking to Frank over the phone. 

 “I'll be there soon.” He walked towards the kitchen and picked up the backpack hed brought with him, and stuffed the leftovers Sarah had packed for him in there- while David told his wife where they were going. She waved them off giving David a knowing look, that Frank had no idea what it meant but left despite it. He needed to get to Karen’s place, they needed him. No matter what Karen said- or didn't say.

 The ride over was pretty much silent, on Franks part at least- David talked as per usual. But Frank couldn't tell you what his friend had said if you paid him a million dollars, he wasn't paying any attention.

 Until they finally got to her place and he was ready to hop out, “Wait Frank, I uh-”

“Make it quick, David. I gotta get up there.”

  “Fine, fine, fine. Y’know how on thursday- in four days, it's Thanksgiving?”

Frank hadn't even really remembered the holiday- it hadn't crossed his mind, but he nodded along.

 “Well Sarah asked me to ask you to come over for Thanksgiving dinner…..” David stopped talking but the request sounded like there was more to it. 

 “Umm, yeah sure- I'll come over.”

“And she wants me to tell you to ask Karen and Sophie to come with you.”

 His brain stuttered along with his words- bring Karen and Soph?

“I- I… I mean I don't even know- Y’know they might already have plans. Or something…” 

 “Frank, I know but they all want to meet em. And it might be fun- but I'll understand if they already have plans, okay?”

 “Yeah….”

“I mean, jesus- Sarah and the kids just want proof they're real. I think you might be surprised how much us Lieberman's talk about you at dinner- blah blah Frank, blah blah Frank and Karen, blah blah David you better get this right. You know.” He laughed along with his friend thinking about what it might be like to bring Karen and Soph over.

 “Isn't this your first thanksgiving back after the whole ‘dead for a year’ thing? Don't you want to have just the family?”

  “Are you kidding? That makes this years dinner extra pressure filled for me. If you guys are there it'll be like, ‘Oooh David did something right, let's not bring up the year of crazy shit’ I need you there, bud. Besides even if it was only a family thing, that's what you are now- family.”

 Frank started opening the door and getting out before turning back towards him, “Well shit Lieberman, you tryna make me cry? I'll ask her okay?”

  The curly haired fool smiled back at him before Frank shut the door, then the driver rolled down the window, “Oh and Frank if you want you can invite Curtis to, make it less couple-y.”

 Frank couldn't keep the laugh in while he headed up towards Karen's floor- he pulled out his key considering using it, before deciding against it and knocking on the door. The woman who answered looked more flustered than usual, but she also had a look on her face that he had been hoping to see for weeks. She was happy to see him, and it made his heart swell.

 “You're here, good. Come on in.” Her hair was a mess of a bun on top of her head, and she was wearing sweats and a tank top- that made her look ready for bed. 

 “Yeah I made it as fast as I could.”

“You were at David’s? Doing work?”

She walked him in towards the couch where she sat and was surprised to turn around and not find him behind her- instead he was in the kitchen, putting something in the fridge. 

  “Having dinner, actually. With his family.”

Her eyebrows shot up, surprised that David was actually his friend- not just a partner, “Oh- I'm sorry I didn't know you were actually doing something. I hope I didn't make you leave too early-”

 “Nah, we were already done- David and I were just hanging out.”

He joined her on the other side of the couch, “Never thought I’d ever hear that, Frank Castle just hanging out like a normal guy….”

  “Yup that's me- normal through n’ through.”

“Of course, regular Joe Shmoe right here.” 

He couldn't help but laugh with her, but behind it he knew they had to talk about what happened before he went into see Soph. “So what happened?”

  Karen thought back on what felt like a normal morning, her and Soph had an appointment with Social Services, and Karen had a feeling it would be to interview both of them on how things had been going these past few months. So when they got there, Soph went into a play area with a bunch of other kids and Karen went into see Ruth, “Miss Page, it's good to see you again. I hope everything's been going well?” 

 “Yeah, I think it's been amazing- Soph’s been doing so well. She’s going to school three times a week- I think it's good to socialize her before she starts Kinder next year. She’s a lot healthier, i've made sure to put some weight on her- shes more around the size she should be at her age. Not malnourished at all anymore.” Karen was rambling, she was a bit nervous. Even though she's done nothing wrong- it felt like she was in the principal's office getting lectured. 

 “Yes, I agree. I saw her when you two came in- she looked great. Look I'm sure you've done an amazing job with her these past few months, she looks happy- this is more a formality type thing. So I'll have to talk to her- I think it would be best if you go get her and bring her in, then wait outside for her. It'll make her feel more secure I think.” Karen got up and nodded, before heading out to get the little girl from the play area. She was happy and adorable, then took Karen's hand and brought her to Ruth's office. 

 “I'll be waiting right out here, for when you're done. Okay?” Sophie smiled and nodded at her.

“Okay, Kare- you'll be right here?”

 “Of course. Right here.” She watched Sophie go into Ruth's office and she waited for her- playing Candy Crush on her phone to calm her nerves while she waited. It had been almost forty minutes in her office when the door opened. 

 “Miss Page, you can come in now.” Karen smiled and nodded before sitting in the chair beside Sophie. She looked down at the her and saw her little arms were crossed across her chest with an angry pout on her face. 

 She was about to ask what was wrong when Ruth started talking, “Well I am going to put the paperwork to continue this arrangement, since it's in the best interest of the child in my opinion- we’ll have another one of these meetings again in a few months. But now that we've have her paperwork in for the alloted time period, Sophie will have to be more available incase we have any meetings with any potential adopters, alright?” Karen's heartbeat sped up at the mention of anyone adopting Sophie, but she nodded anyway- ready to get out of this building as soon as possible. 

So Karen's head was in the clouds thinking about what the caseworker had just said so she hadn't noticed how silent Sophie was. Not until they had reached the entrance to the train station and the little girl still hadn't said a word.

  “Soph? You okay?”

She looked down at her and she wouldn't look Karen in the eye- and that's how it was the entire time back and then after they got back. Still silent- Soph went straight to her room and slammed the door shut. Wouldn't let her in and continued to stay silent despite all Karen asked her. She wouldn't even come out for dinner, so Karen had to leave it outside her door- and she was pretty sure the little girl still hadn't eaten it yet.

 So she had to call Frank. 

 “Yeah, so I just don't know what to do- she won't talk to me but I'm almost a hundred percent sure she’ll talk to you.”

 Frank nodded, knowing he would need to hear what Sophie thought had happened before he could fix anything, so he just nodded and headed towards Sophie's room.   

 He knocked on the door, and didn't hear a response so he knocked again- “Go away Karen. I don't want to talk to you.” 

She never called her Karen. It was always Kare- r something else, not Karen. “It's not Karen. It's me.”

 The door creaked open a bit then he saw little blue eyes rimmed with red looking up at him. “Frank? What are you doing here? When did you get here?”


	19. Sophie's Blues Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this might be late, but I just saw the teaser trailer for Venom and Im freakin out!!! I love tom hardy and I love Venom- and not the spiderman 3 version of Venom- what did you guys think??   
>  Thanks for the reads and comments!!! Love my comment people- you guys are the best!! LOL

 

  “Go away Karen. I don't want to talk to you.” 

She never called her Karen. It was always Kare- r something else, not Karen. “It's not Karen. It's me.”

 The door creaked open a bit then he saw little blue eyes rimmed with red looking up at him. “Frank? What are you doing here? When did you get here?”

  He moved past her and walked in the room before she could try to close the door on him, “So I heard you and Karen had a little fight today after you got back from the meeting with Social Services- wanna tell me what happened?”

 The little girl looked back at him with red rimmed eyes, and he knew she had been crying before shaking her head. Obviously something was wrong, and she didn't want Karen to know about it- something had happened at the meeting that had bothered her- from what he could tell from what Karen said.

 “Wanna talk about it?”

Another slow shake of the head. So he decided he had to think of a new way to go about it.

 “Wanna take Duck on a walk?” 

It was obviously not the question she was expecting as her head shot up in confusion- and when realization dawned on her that he wouldn't be questioning her on things she didn't want to talk about she nodded her head wanting to get out of the house.

 “Okay let's go, go get his leash.” She smiled and rushed out the door heading towards the kitchen counter where his leash sat.

 Karen looked up at him with a look of confusion that funnily reminded him of Sophie, wanting to know what was going on- “Soph and I are gonna take Duck on a walk.”

 “Oh- um okay, should I come with?”

Frank looked back at Sophie who was clipping the leash onto the excited dog who sat in front of her, “I don't think so- I think it should just be me and Soph.”

 “Okay, be back soon?”

“Yeah twenty- thirty minutes top, and I'll take my “phone with me.”

 She nodded at him knowing this would probably be the best way to get her talking. Both of them slipped on their shoes and jacket then the trio left the apartment, and Frank locked up behind him- before heading out with Sophie and Duck in tow. They decided to head towards the park down the street. Normally Frank wouldn't want Sophie going down to the park at this time of night, but with both himself and Duck with her, he figured she was safe. Once they got there, they saw it was still pretty crowded, despite it being eight thirty at night in the middle of november. He figured she might still be hungry, since Karen said she hadn't eaten yet- so he walked towards the little cart near the entrance and bought three hot dogs, one for Soph, one and half for himself, and half of one for Duck. “Don't tell Karen were eating these? I don't want her freaking out, okay?” 

 “Okay.” She was quieter than usual, but she seemed better now that she was out of the house- away from Karen. The three of them walked over towards a bench and sat down- just sat quietly watching people come in and out. Frank had already eaten his hot dog then split his next one with Duck while Soph was still working on her first, he really wanted to know what was going on in that little head of hers- but he didn't want to push her. She would speak when she was ready, that much he knew.

 So he waited, he watched as more and more people left the park- now only a few people were walking around near them. Frank looked at his phone watching as the time ticked by, and knew he would have to eventually text Karen to let them know they would be later than expected, he felt Duck lay at his feet waiting to go home. 

 “We went to go see that lady today,” Frank looked down at her, already knowing that from Karen but nodding for her to continue. 

 “She asked me about living with Karen, all the stuff we do. How I like it and stuff…”

Oh shit- Frank panicked that she had unknowingly told the social services lady about Karen's friend, Frank.

 “Don't worry, I didn't tell her about you. I don't know why- but I know I'm not supposed to say anything.” He was grateful she was so perceptive, for such a young kid she had been through so much- she could read people. 

  “And then what happened? How did that turn into you and Karen getting all mad at eachother?” 

 “And then she started talking about how I was still gonna stay with Karen, and I was happy. But then she was saying how we would have more meetings-” 

 She paused and looked towards Duck, looked anywhere but at him, “And then she was saying how I would start meeting people- and if I was really good someone might adopt me.”

  Frank was starting to understand where this might be heading, “Well is that what you want?”

That's when she looked up at him- tears in her eyes, “No! No I- I don't want them to take me away. I don't want to leave Duck, I don't want to leave you, I don't- I don't want to leave Karen….” 

 Now he knew, this was about Karen. She was afraid they would make her leave everything she had grown to love, behind. Sophie didn't want to go.

 “So if I have to be bad so none of those people want me- then I will! I'll be as bad and mean and terrible as I have to be to stay! They can't make me leave…”

 She was hurting- and it killed him to see her tears running down her face, so he pulled her into his chest- an arm around her shoulders as she wept. “Well why you cryin, kid? That kind of stuff takes forever, and if you really don't want to leave- I gotta friend who can stall it for a real long time.”

 Her little chest was moving up and down making talking really difficult, he could barely make out what she was trying to say through all the tears and sniffles and snot, “No, i'm cr- I can- Ka-”

 “You gotta calm down, I can't understand you when you talk like that. Take a deep breath- In and out. In and out.” 

 Sophie took a breath in, then out at least a good few times before she was finally understandable, “I'm crying because Karen doesn't want me! She brought me to that lady and now she doesn't want me anymore!”

 What!? Where was she getting this?

“No, no, no- you listen to me. Karen loves you, she doesn't want you to leave- you got that?”

   “You're wrong! Karen wants to give me back- she hates me!”

“No, you listen here- and you listen good. I don't sugarcoat my words and you know that. You must be stupid if you think Karen hates you, and you're not stupid are you?”

She finally looked up at him before shaking her head, “No, I'm not stupid…”

“I didn't think so. I don't know a lot of things, and I may not be the smartest guy out there- but there's one thing I do know. And that's the fact that Karen loves you Sophie, and there's no world in which she would hate you.” 

  This was what she needed, after everything she's been through in her short life she needed to hear that she was wanted- that someone wanted her for her, not for any other reason except for the fact that she was herself. She needed to hear from someone other than Karen, that she loved her. He didn't really know what her day to day life had been before he rescued her, but Frank would bet all he had that her druggie parents didn't make sure she knew how to be loved. Some people might think it is easy to be loved by someone else, but not for some people- not for her. All she had ever known was that ‘love’ meant something that came with a cost, and no matter how much she craved Karen's love- she would always be wary that someone would want something in return. 

  Frank pulled her into his lap and her little arms wrapped themselves around his neck, and she cried her heart out into his shoulder- all he could think of was the night he found her and how much this reminded him of that night. Eventually she fell asleep and he got up and started walking back towards Karen's apartment, with Duck trailing behind him. The dog knew something was up with his little owner and he didn't like it, Duck didn't like seeing tears run down her face as little as Frank did- and had started whimpering many times at the park when she cried. Duck was finally relaxing now that she was asleep, but Frank knew he would insist on sleeping in the same room as her tonight incase she started again, and he couldn't say that it bothered him that Sophie would have a living teddy bear to hold onto if she started to cry.

  He was putting the key in the door when it was ripped open, with a worried looking Karen on the other side- regretting that he hasn't texted her since he left. 

 “Is she okay?”

“Yup, shes just asleep. Let me put her down?” The rest of the sentence went unsaid; let me put her down and then I'll tell you what was wrong.

 “Yeah. Of course, you know where her room is…” So he brought her there and tucked her in- watching Duck get settled beside the little girls bed, before heading back out to the other woman waiting for him.

 She was sitting on the couch waiting for an overview of the conversation, so he gave it to her- told her why Soph was acting up. Told her how Sophie was just afraid, worried that she would be taken away.

 “Jesus, what do I say? Should I let her know that you told me what she said? Or should I wait for her to say something?”

  “If you wait for her to say something, you'll never hear it. She thinks you want her to leave, Karen. And it doesn't have anything to do with you- it's nothing you've done, it's what she knows. Abandonment. Heartbreak. I think you should just sit down and talk to her.”  

  Karen nodded her head, thinking it crazy that there could be any universe where she wouldn't want Sophie- where she would want someone to take her away. And thinking like that opened a whole new can of worms for her that she didn't even want to start thinking about yet.

  “How am I supposed to let her know that I want her?”

 “I don’t know, I guess you just gotta keep telling her- don’t stop until she’s begging you to with how annoying it it to hear it all the time.” She laughed at the fact that that was probably what she was going to have to do- keep reinforcing it for as long as it took.

 Karen was exhausted- it had been a long day, and a long night worrying over what Frank and Sophie were talking about, she just wanted to talk about something other than this fucked up situation.

 “So I pulled you out of Sunday night dinner, did I? How was that going? Is that a regular thing, Frank?” She pulled her legs up on the couch and curled them under her butt.

 “Yeah we were finished though, so it wasn't a big deal.”

“Well it was nice of David to drive you over here. Must be a good friend.”

  “Yeah, yeah he is….” All that reminded him of what David wanted him to ask Karen, and that same feeling he felt in the pit of his stomach when he mentioned it in the car, came back to him. So he tried to be subtle about it. 

 Subtle wasn't exactly his thing, “They uh- they asked me to come over for Thanksgiving.”

“Aww that's really nice, Frank.”

   “What are you guys doin?”

Karen puffed out her cheeks before shaking her head, “Who knows? I haven't really thought about it… I can't go home- that's a joke. I'm not sure what we're gonna do.”

  God, here it comes- just spit it out!! 

“Really? Well David actually wanted me to invite you guys over too, of you want. His um- his family wants to meet you.” He looked over at her and wondered what was going through her head, “And Sophie!! They want to meet her too!” 

 Jesus he sounded like a fool, well that's what he was- he might as well embrace it and let the embarrassment wash over him in one big wave instead of thousand small ones.  

  She was silent for a while, thinking it over- Karen knew Sophie would enjoy it. But she also knew herself, and despite the offer coming from David- Karen knew she would overthink it and overanalyze everything. But it would be good for Sophie to have an actual Thanksgiving, instead of the small meal Karen was planning on having for just the two of them- so she conceded.

 “That would be great, actually- I think Soph would really love that. I would- I- Yeah it sounds like fun, for me too- I mean.” What was she saying? She sounded like an idiot in her ears- God she had to get out of here before she said anything else stupid. 

 So she shot up, like the couch was on fire- she practically sprinted to her room, before turning around. “You gonna stay?”

 He whipped his head towards her- the first time in a long time staying was even an option.

“I uh-”

  “You can stay, if you want.” Her cheeks burned bright red, and she turned towards her room before he could answer- knowing of he wanted to stay it wouldn't be because she would beg him- but because he had the option to choose.\

  And Karen had no idea how much Frank wanted that- to stay. How long he had wished he had- stayed that is.  


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I HIT 1000 READERS!!!! Thanks so much to all the people who have read my story from the beginning!! I LOVE ALL YOU!! I also want to thank anyone who has ever made a comment on my story, whenever anyone makes a comment on my story it motivates me to update faster- makes me feel like I owe it to that person who commented! So please continue I love hearing from you!!

Karen sat on the edge of Sophie’s bed as the little girl went through every piece of clothing she had in both her closet and her drawers. She had woken Karen up early this morning wanting to have the perfect outfit for dinner with Frank and his friends. Every few minutes she would say ‘what about this?’ or ‘How does this one look?’ and her favorite so far ‘do you think Frank will like this one?’

 It was like she was getting ready for a date or meeting the parents, she was so nervous. And that’s not to say that Karen wasn’t nervous either- the whole time she sat on the little twin bed she thought about how casual or formal her outfit should dress. Her head was filled with pros and cons to certain items in her closet while at the same time approving or shooting down some of Sophs ideas. One of which was her Rapunzel dress- saying it was a fancy princess dress and Frank had loved it. She had to say no to that one. And that’s how it went for a good hour and a half- until finally she found a dress from when Karen had first brought her to Target. It was a blue dress with white sleeves that went a little past her knees, she then insisted on wearing the red converse with it- so she could ‘look just like Dorothy’. Then she told Karen she would have to put her hair in braids after her bath to which Karen conceded, thinking it was probably the most normal outfit she could come up with on her own. 

 So she started the bath and put bubbles in it, then let Soph soak and play for a few minutes while she chose what she would wear. 

 Based on what David looked like with his crazy hair and somewhat lazy attire, and how she doubted Frank would wear anything to fancy- she decided casual was the way to go. 

 No week day skirts, they made her look like she was on the way to work- she didn’t want to wear a dress incase she chose one that was too casual or too formal. So instead she chose to wear a pair of black skinny jeans with a burgundy blouse and paired it with a pair of maroon strappy heels to make it seem a little more dressed up. She figured the top and the shoes were close enough to match, then grabbed a leather jacket and a small black purse to go with it. 

 Looking at herself she didn’t think she looked bad, her hair and pale skin popped with all the dark colors she was wearing, satisfied that she was in the middle of the spectrum of possible attire she headed back to Sophie. 

  Time seemed to be going by faster than she expected since she only had about thirty minutes until Frank would arrive to pick them up for dinner. They had agreed he would come and pick her up around four, then drive over- the day had gone by fast with the Macy’s day parade to watch this morning then all of Sophs clothes to choose from, time was getting away from her. 

  Karen quickly helped Sophie into her ‘Dorothy’ outfit and then put her hair into two french braids before throwing on a little makeup to make her look like she was actually awake. 

  Rushing seemed to work since she finished with at least five minutes to go until he would get here- if it was anyone else she would think they would most likely be five or ten minutes late. But she knew Frank Castle, and when he said he would be somewhere he was always prompt- thankfully she wouldn’t have to make them any later for dinner.

 She was nervous- Karen couldn’t deny that, it felt like this was a significant moment for some reason, that this meant something. And maybe it did, but she was too stressed to delve into it- so when the door started to jingle and the lock move she knew it was him- and her heart jumped.

 “Karen?” He called out.

“In here! C’mon Soph, Frank is here!” The sound of little feet running across hardwood sounded before she heard an oof from Frank, who she had presumably run straight into.

 “FRANK!!!”

Karen turned the corner and saw Soph being tossed in the air and an excited squeal came tumbling out her mouth at being so high up.

 “Hey there kiddo.” Frank put her back on her feet and Sophs smile rivaled Times Square at night it was so bright, and she smoothed down her dress before looking up at him.

 “So do you like my dress?”

Karen smiled at that, knowing Frank’s opinion was important to Sophie on the matter of this dress. And prayed that he said he liked it, Karen guessed if he said any different the little girl would insist on changing until he was satisfied.

 “Of course it looks great- very wizard of oz. is that what you were going for?” Frank smiled and tugged at her braids before turning towards the other lady he would be escorting to dinner- and his mouth almost dropped. She looked great- this classy, edgy kinda look he hadn’t seen from her- but wouldn’t mind seeing again. She was beautiful.

  “Karen helped me pick it out! Then she did my braids too.” 

 Frank was just staring as she laughed at he little girls statement- barely recognizing she was saying something, “Do you want to tell him how long it took to choose the ‘perfect outfit for Frank dinner’? Or should I?” 

  Sophie’s face turned an awful shade of red, obviously embarrassed that Frank found out how excited she was. “Karen! No I didn’t take that long!” 

 “I’m sorry, you’re right it didn’t take any time at all.” Her sarcastic response flew straight over Sophie’s head since the little girl smiled like she had won the little spat and was right. 

  “Should we bring Duck, Frank? I think we should bring him. We don’t want him to get lonely here all by himself.”

 Frank had recovered by now and turned towards the little girl to get a grip on himself, “Sure, I don’t think the Liebermans would mind if you brought Duck with us.”

  He heard Karen shuffling around in the kitchen and looking through cabinets when she shouted back, “Are you sure it’s okay to bring him? I don’t want to just show up with a dog, could you text David and ask?”

 Frank sighed knowing the response from David would be to make fun of him, but he did it anyway. 

_ Hey can we bring our dog to dinner?  _

The response came a minute later,  _ Our dog?  _

_   Shut up. Soph wants to bring him, can we? _

_ Sure. Why not? I’m sure Z and L would love it. _

_    Thanks we’ll be over soon. _

_ Okay!! _

 “He said it was fine.” Karen was in the bedroom so Frank had to shout for her to hear it.

  “Okay, can you grab his leash then?” God the things he would do for this woman- it was like he couldn’t say no.

 And it wasn’t like Karen was unaffected by Frank- who looked damn good. He was wearing a black button down that was rolled at the sleeves and Karen had a hard time not drooling the instant she saw him. She went in her room both to grab her keys- even though she knew Frank had a set, and to gather herself before it was time to leave.

 She took a deep breath and walked out, “So you guys ready to go?”

  Sophie nodded and walked towards Karen, then put her arms up- wanting to be held while they walked to the car. So Frank grabbed Ducks leash and clipped it to the pooch before opening the door, the girls ushered out and he got his key out to lock the door. Like it was something he did everyday- that was something that confused him whenever he came over, how natural it all felt. He of course had experience with Maria and the kids- but it was different with Karen and Soph. Karen wasn’t his wife and Sophie wasn’t his daughter- yet he felt a lot of the same things for both. And it was terribly confusing, he didn’t know what to make of it or what to say. 

 “Are we taking the train or….” Karen stopped once they left the building and looked back at him.

 “No, were driving.”

“You have a car?” He could hear the unsaid question behind it- did you steal it?

 “No I asked Curtis if he wanted to come to dinner too, and he said he couldn’t make it. That he would be out of town, so he said I could borrow it. And I figured on thanksgiving the trains would be filled with crazies so driving would be easier.”

 Karen was relieved but tried not to show it, instead just walked towards the backseat to put Sophie in the car seat- “Where did you even get a car seat? I seriously doubt Curtis has a random car seat in the back of his car.”

  Then Karen saw something that she might never see again- a once in a lifetime occurrence; Frank Castle blushed. And it might have been the best thing she had ever seen- Frank’s blushing face, free of bruises- and adorable. 

 “I uh- I went to the store and bought it. It was real cheap- a good deal. Something I couldn’t pass up, so I just got it.” The big bad punisher ducked his head and helped put Sophie in the seat before rushing off to the drivers side. 

  “Well thank you, Frank. I love it!”

“You’re welcome Soph, now let's go we got a while to get to the suburbs at this time of day.”

 It took about forty minutes to make it to the Liebermans place with all the traffic, it being thanksgiving and all. Sophie talked the whole time about what she was going to do and what she was going to say, and both the adults laughed along with her. 

 When Karen opened her passenger side door she looked towards the house they would be walking into and her heart started beating faster. This was a nice place and she suddenly felt underdressed- like she didn’t fit in. 

 She was so distracted by her own insecurities she didn’t notice Frank get Soph out of her car seat.

 “Are you gonna walk in, Soph?” Frank asked.

She shook her head and stuck it into his neck, and Karen wished she could hide behind him too, “No I want you to carry me, Frank.” Me too, Karen thought, me too.

 The trio were walking up the driveway when the door suddenly opened and David came running out- obviously already a little tipsy.

 “Frank, you handsome devil! You brought lovely Karen!!”

  Karen couldn’t help but laugh when Frank faced palmed at his friends embarrassing remark.

 “And who’s this in the big softies arms? Gorgeous little Sophie?”  The little girls head peeked out from Frank’s neck and was smiling at how crazy he was acting and at how much it seemed to bother Frank- so she nodded her head.

  “Jesus David, you already started drinking?”

“Just rosé, besides it’s the holidays- that’s what your supposed to do. C’mon in my wife can’t wait to meet you two. Heard so much about you.”

  Karen looked at Frank before following David inside, “She has, has she?”

 “Yeah from Frank, but also from me- I can’t seem to stop gossiping about good ol Frankie here.”

 Karen made Sophie get back on her own two feet so she could introduce herself, considering how excited she was to come her she sure was acting shy.

 After all the introductions, Sophie ran off to follow Leo, Frank went to cook in the kitchen and David followed him, while Karen and Sarah sat on the two couches in the living room. 

 “So Karen, I’ve heard so much about you.” All good,she hoped. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question- For season 2, do you think Karen will be more of a regular character- or more like this season with her only showing up in 4 or so episodes?   
>  Personally I'm hoping for a good amount of Kastle in the next season!! LOL!!

 It had been an amazing dinner, all the food was amazing and it made Karen’s mouth water thinking about it all again. Sophie hadn’t been as equally impressed- as it turned out she’d never really had an official thanksgiving dinner before- not really that surprising given who her parents had been. And so when Karen asked if she wanted any turkey, she said yes- then was disgusted and didn’t want any more at all. All Karen could get her to eat was a bread roll, stuffing, mashed potatoes and pie. All she would eat were the carbs, but Karen figured it was one day it wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t eat all the food groups. All of them moved towards the living room to watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, more on the adults insistence than the kids. Zach made it very clear he wasn’t into watching a ‘baby show’ so he asked to go up to his room, while Leo was fine with staying with her parents and watching the program.  “Fine if your going up to your room, say goodnight to everyone.”   

  “Finnnnneee….. Night Mom, night Dad. Goodnight Pete- I mean Frank. Goodnight Frank’s girlfriend”

 Sarah saw the bright red blushes that colored both Frank and Karen’s faces, “Zach!!”

 “What! It’s true ain’t it?”

Then Leo but in to yell back at her brother, “Just because it’s true doesn’t mean you have to say it.”

 Karen broke the silence, “Goodnight, Zach.”

Then the six of them left downstairs tried to forget about that awkward moment and went back to watching Charlie Brown. The adults were drinking, and both the kids were starting to slip into a food coma, leaving Leo to wish everyone a goodnight and Sophie to fall asleep in Karen’s arms. 

 Once she was asleep, the adults refilled all the drinks- on the fast track for drunk town.

  “So Karen, how’d you and Frank meet?” Sarah asked as she sipped on her wine.

 “Umm I guess he was shooting at me…”

David burst out laughing while Frank stuttered, “No, no, no- that is not how we met. And I wasn’t shooting at you, just at a person near you.”

 Karen couldn’t help but smile at the familiarity they had with the Liebermans, sharing meet cute stories on thanksgiving- normal. 

 “Real romantic Frank, did you pull her hair and shoot spitballs at her too? I gotta tell ya Frank that’s not how you let a girl know you like her…”

 Frank pushed his shoulder and David was close to spilling his glass of wine on the carpet- which Sarah would have killed him for. “Shut up, dumbass. I actually met Karen at the hospital- after I got caught. She was on the legal team and I was gonna turn me down when she pulls out this photo, that she only could have gotten from inside my house- and I knew. I knew they were who I wanted to represent me- I wanted her to represent me, because if she was willing to break into my home to find out the truth, she was my kinda gal.”

 Karen looked over the top of Sophie’s head at Frank, never officially knowing why Frank had let them represent him until now. She had suspected that her bold move had been part of the reason he let Nelson and Murdock be his lawyers, but now she knew for sure he accepted because of her- and she wasn’t sure if it was the wine or just him but it made her feel this warm homey sparkle light inside her. 

 “So your a lawyer, Karen?”

“Actually I’m a-” She was about to respond to Sarah’s question when David cut her off.

 “She’s a reporter- I could have told you that.”

Sarah looked over at her husband and he shrank behind the glare, “Well I didn’t ask you, did I David? Jesus sometimes he’s worse that the kids. You were saying Karen.”

 “Yeah, now I am a reporter. But when I was working to defend Frank, I was a legal assistant- basically a secretary.”

 “Well that must be interesting- do you like it?”

“Love it actually- after everything that went down it just felt so natural. And it’s who I became, Karen Page- full time Bulletin reporter. But now,” she looked down at the little girl sleeping in her arms, “Now I only work there from nine to five, it’s not the same- not as on call as I once was. But that’s okay, I have S- so much to do.”

 “I can understand that, these kids think i’m their maid- it's like having three kids who have no clue how to survive on their own- David included. You’d think with him living on his own in some dank basement for a whole year would make him capable, but once he got back here he was back to being a big baby.” Karen laughed looking over at David who started blushing for the first time tonight.

 “You're telling me, it took more than an hour for this one to pick out the perfect outfit” She pointed down at the little girl in her arms, “She was really excited and had to make sure we would find a ‘dress Frank would love’. I had to put my foot down when she wanted to wear her Halloween costume, she said she already knew that Frank liked that dress- so if I wanted anything resembling normal I had to give in to her ‘Dorothy’ dress here.” All three adults, with the exception of Frank- laughed, while he just shook his head and smiled at the three people who were making fun of him. It was strange to think how a few months ago, he hadn’t known these three or were anywhere close to calling them friends- but now it was hard to imagine his life without them. Without them he would be a lonely shell of a man, still bent on revenge and probably dead- hunted down by agent Orange, alone. Now his mission wasn't for revenge- it was how he kept going, something he needed to do. His family was avenged but it didn't mean the same type of people stopped roaming the streets- it was his duty to clean those streets up. So people like David and his family could feel safe, so he could feel better about Sophie and Karen walking home from school- that's what he does now. 

  He looked towards the clock on the wall beside the family portrait and saw it was closing in on one in the morning, and Frank glanced at the table in front of them- he saw all the empty beer bottles and the three bottles of wine. Sighing he knew it probably wasn't safe to drive home, if it was just himself Frank was sure he could sober up enough to be functional- but he wouldn't risk the lives of his girls by making an necessarily stupid decision to drive in his current state. 

It was Sarah who noticed the time after another twenty minutes of laughing, Frank hadn't said anything not wanting to be the reason to end the fun- to end the Liebermans and Karen first meeting, “Jesus, is that the time? Tomorrow is going to be rough.”

 “We’ll just have to make some mimosas to get rid of the hangover tomorrow morning.” Tipping back the last of his beer, David looked down at his wife with a twinkle of humor in his eyes.

  “So our solution to everything should just drink it off?”

“You got it, baby.”

  His beautiful wife shook her head before getting up to pick up some of the bottles that littered the table, before turning to both Karen and Frank. “You're staying her tonight, right? We have an extra guest room down here you can use.”

  The duo shook their heads in agreement at the question, non-question from Sarah- that was more if a command than anything. Karen got up as gently as possible, trying her best not to wake up the four year old in her arms- she looked towards the matriarch of the family and her finger came out and pointed towards a door that must have been the guest room. 

  Subtly her eyes drifted towards Frank, wondering if he would join them- but not wanting to ask in front of everyone. As much as the whole Lieberman clan assumed Frank and Karen were a couple- or at least destined to be one, Karen was still unsure of what they were, or what she was allowed to ask for from him. So she hoped her questioning gaze towards Frank would be enough, after a few moments of him not understanding her silent question- Sarah answered for her. 

 “So….. Frank you can stay on the couch- let Karen and Sophie have the bed, i'll leave you some bedding to use.” As she said it, Sarah pulled out the extra blankets and a pillow from a cabinet under the stairs and shoved it in his arms. 

 “Uh, um- okay.” Karen was disappointed he hadn't protested and at least asked to be in the same room as her, but she turned and closed the door behind her. Karen sat with Sophie still in her arms and softly took her little red shoes off- she then remembered neither of them could sleep in what they were wearing at the moment so she looked towards the set of drawers in the corner of the room and prayed there was something in them. Carefully she placed Sophie on the bed and walker over to open the first drawer. 

 The first drawer had nothing but extra sheets for the bed, and neither did the second- finding towels in that one. The third was where her luck turned around; all she found were a few t-shirts- so she took out the first two her fingers touched. A blue long sleeve tee, and a yellow short sleeve- she decided the yellow would be for Soph. Not only because it was her favorite color but because Karen figured if she tried to get her little arms through the long sleeves she would no doubt wake up- so it was blue for her. 

  It turned out Sophie was basically dead to the world, nothing woke her- today was obviously a very long and tiring day for her. Her eyes were slipping closed after moving Sophie in front of her, under the covers- when she heart it. The door creaked open quietly, and a small triangle of light appeared and then vanished after she heard footsteps move closer. 

 She knew it was him. It had only taken him about thirty minutes to choose to come to bed, whether it was because he thought she was asleep or because he told himself the bed was better for her back- she wasn't sure. All she knew was that he was here. 

 Frank was toeing off his boots, while silently deciding how much of his uncomfortable clothes he could take off without being too much of a creep. He was already slightly creepy, slipping in here while his still slightly buzzed mind told him it was okay to come in here. His belt buckle loosened and fell right along with his pants which left him only in his boxers and his black button up. He wished he could take the uncomfortable shirt off as well, but Frank figured it might be enough of a shock for Karen to wake up with him in her bed- it would probably be better if he wasn't basically naked when she woke would be better. 

  Frank pulled the covers back and layed down behind Karen, whose back was to him and he was about to slip an arm around her- when she turned towards him, “What are you doing?”

 His heart started pounding, afraid he had misread the eyes she had been throwing at him- “Why are you wearing that shirt? It can't be comfortable.”

 “Uh- I mean I don't have anything else….” He was relieved she at least wasn't mad at him for getting in bed with her. 

 She pointed to the chest of drawers near the corner of the room, “There's shirts in the third drawer over there.” 

 Karen watched him get up and move towards the chest, all the while staring at him as he unbuttoned his shirt before searching for another. Frank dug around and pulled out the only shirt he could find, a bright pink shirt that made Karen drool as it stretched across his broad chest. He walked back towards her and climbed in the spot he had recently left, and she knew she had missed him. Unknowingly she had gotten used to him in her bed a while back and had him long enough to learn to miss him. 

 Franks arm went around her waist and it was then she was glad for the alcohol she knew she would regret in the morning- but now it would help her be bold. 

 “What are we, Frank? What are we doing? Are we- am I your girlfriend? Are you my boyfriend?” The little comment Zach had made earlier had been harmless at the time, but the longer the night went on- and the more she drank- the more she thought. What were they?

 “I- I don't- I'm not…. I don't know Karen. You're not my girlfriend,” Disappointment flooded through her- no matter how childish the term, it was a tough pill to swallow.

 “You're more. Karen you're more than that. I don't- I don't know what to call us, whatever we are- or whatever were doing. But I know for a fact calling you my girlfriend is wrong. Girlfriend implies you being temporary- and you, Karen Page are anything but temporary. I need you- I can't lose you, I don't think- I don't think I could go on without you. I know what I feel for you is more than any word is going to define, and beyond any word anyone else could understand. But I need you to know, Karen- I need you to know- What i'm trying to say is I don't- I'm not the best with words, but I care about you. You know that, right?”

 She didn't answer- couldn't answer without emotion making her voice shaky. Instead she just grabbed his hand in her own and pulled it in to her chest, saying without words that she needed to hear that from him- a silent thank you that she finally had at least some sort of acknowledgement this wasn't all one sided. That she wasn't just imagining it, that he wanted to be there. 

 And when he woke up the next day and the three of them headed towards the car after a big breakfast with the Lieberman's, David threw him an amused look at the pink shirt he wore, somehow knowing where he had been last night- most likely knowing exactly where the shirt he was wearing came from yet Frank didn't seem to care as long as Karen and Sophie were happy.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGER!!!  
>  Tell me what you think, as always thank you for reading and commenting.  
>  Want to give a special shout out to a reader of mine called Krystal_ball, Thank you for commenting I love hearing from people who can truly appreciate my story!! Hopefully you continue to read!! LOL

Things were great after thanksgiving- amazing even. Post injury but pre kiss kind of amazing, back to where he would stay over on Friday’s and make breakfast Saturday. But it was different too, now whenever he left he would leave her with a kiss on the cheek- sometimes at night when he would slip in next to her he would steal a kiss on the lips that left her breathless. And it wasn’t only Friday’s now, sometimes he would come over random days of the week, and it left both Karen and Sophie smiling cheek to cheek when it would happen. Things were great. 

  The first sign of snow had been a few weeks ago, right before thanksgiving but that was just a little dusting- today it was an actual snowfall. Sophie had been delighted at school when they had been banned from playing outside- she knew that meant the walk home with Karen would be fun. Karen would let her play, make snowballs and snow angels- she had seen snow before but that was when she was still with her old parents. They didn’t want to do anything with her- let alone play with her. But Karen was different, Karen made sure she was happy. She loved Karen, Sophie wanted to be with her forever. 

 She liked going to school here, most of the other kids were really nice- she played with almost all the kids and had so much fun. Except for these three girls- Maya, Riley, and Alice. Alice was the worst, and Maya close behind- they were some of the older kids who were almost old enough to go Kindergarten. She didn’t like those girls, and they didn’t like her for some reason. Those three didn’t really like anyone, always saying mean things to all the kids- but they were already five and thought since they were the biggest kids they didn’t have to be nice to anyone. 

 She was watching the white fluff fall from the sky when she heard Alice’s voice behind her, “What are you doing?”

 Sophie turned and looked over her shoulder at the trio standing behind her, “Just watching the snow, and waiting to go home.”

 Maya walked towards her and snatched the Barbie she was holding out of her hands, “Who’re you waiting for? I thought we’re parents were dead.”

  She ignored the stolen doll and the comment she tried to get her riled up with, “I’m waiting for my Mo- my Karen. Karen. I’m waiting for Karen.”

 “Did you almost say Mom?? She’s not your mom. You don’t have a mom. That’s what I heard MY mommy say.” Alice stepped closer to her and Sophie clenched her hands together trying not to get mad.

 “Yeah I heard you were an orphan-” Sophie clenched her jaw and tried breathing through her nose to calm down. 

 “I’m not an orphan! I live with Karen!”

Alice and Maya laughed at her, “Just cause you live with her, don’t mean your not an orphan.”

 Her eyes started stinging and she felt the familiar feeling of her eyes watering, and she prayed they wouldn’t see her tears.

 “Oh are you gonna cry?” Maya pointed at her.

“Of course she’s gonna cry- she’s a big giant orphan baby that nobody wants. I bet-” Alice didn’t get to finish that sentence, in the next second Sophie was on top of her. Yelling, and crying and hitting until the teacher pulled her off and put her in timeout.

 That’s how Karen found her when it was time to pick her up, sitting in a corner with a red face m- puffy from crying.

 “Miss Page? Are you Sophie’s mom?”

Karen was startled for a moment while she watched an ashamed look come over Sophie’s face. 

 “Uhhh… Yeah, I am. Is something wrong?”

The teacher walked her over towards the little girl in question, “Your daughter got into a fight today, I’m not really sure what about. Neither of the girls were very forthcoming about what happened.” 

 Karen bent down and waited for the teacher to leave to deal with another kid before asking what had happened.

“I hit her cause she was telling me how I was an orphan, and how you or nobody wanted me. They were being really mean, Karen.” 

 Karen’s emotions spiked at the girls who had bullied her little girl, angry that they had said that- knowing they didn’t come up with all the information on their own. Their parents obviously gossiped about Sophie and her situation, but she tried to keep it to herself. Unfortunately she couldn’t go and tell Soph it was wrong to hit people, and then go looking for a fight with this girls parents. 

 “Well, what they did was wrong Soph- but you can’t fight girls like that. Fighting will only get both of you in trouble. C’mon let’s go.” Karen picked her up after making sure her coat and backpack were on her, before leaving the building. 

 Soph was worried at first that Karen would be mad at her for fighting, but surprisingly she wasn’t. Asking if she wanted to go watch a special demonstration tonight, and Sophie wholeheartedly agreed. She spent the whole time home in Karen’s arms thinking about what those girls had said. About Karen not being her Mom. Sophie knew that she had a mom, but she was dead. And after living with Karen and doing all this great stuff with her, it kinda seemed like her old mom wasn’t so great. Even though it hadn’t been that long, it kinda felt like she couldn’t really remember her old mom all that much anymore. Not because she couldn’t remember what she looked like or anything, but because she didn’t really do all the stuff moms are supposed to do. Karen did a lot of stuff, a lot of mom stuff. So did that make Karen her mom? When the teacher asked her if she was her mom, Karen had said yes. But Sophie never called her Mom, she didn’t know if she was allowed too. Sophie had always called her Karen or Kare- would she be mad if Sophie did call her Mom? 

 All those questions ran through her head and she hardly noticed they had made it back to the apartment until the welcoming heat, bit the bitter cold of the streets of New York out of her tiny soul. She didn’t leave Karen’s arms, didn’t want to- not until she felt Duck jump up and lick the exposed part of her leg, begging her to play. 

 “Soph, I just want to say one thing. Okay?”

“Okay.” Oh god, here it comes. She’s gonna be mad.

  “I don’t want you fighting with those girls anymore. I don’t want you getting in trouble,” Her voice was stern at first but then turned soft, “that being said, I’m proud of you. Don’t let those girls get in your head- they don’t know anything, okay? Now go get changed into something warm, cause we’re walking to the store.” Karen walked over to her and bent down, kissed her head and walked to her own room to change. 

 Sophie was shocked, she couldn’t believe Karen wasn’t mad. Couldn't understand why she wasn't yelling at her- it was all she had ever known, all her old parents had ever done. Yelled and hit- when they thought she had done something wrong- was this how it was supposed to be? Forgiveness instead of violence- everything with Karen was new. And Sophie wasn't sure how to interpret anything that was or wasn't supposed to be done. 

 It took awhile for them to leave the apartment but Karen and Sophie were finally walking down the street, heading towards the market. Sophie held her hand, but it was obvious how excited she was to be out here. 

 “Can we play? Do we have enough time?” Sophie murmured up at the woman who stood tall above her.

 “Yeah we have about forty minutes till we have to be there, I thought we could go up and down the aisle and kinda window shop, but if you wanna play outside instead- we can do that.” While she said it, Karen secretly felt behind her for snow that she then made into a ball- the little girl couldn't contain her excitement so while she was distracted deciding what to do first, Karen made the first move. 

  The ball hit Sophie in the chest, and at first she was shocked before her face broke out in a smile and she laughed and made her own weapon. It was another five minutes of back and forth when Karen's phone started to ring, with her head in the clouds she didn't look at the number- just answered. 

 “Hello?”

_ Karen. Hey- it's me.  _ The voice was a pleasant surprise that she welcomed, Karen put her finger up to Soph in mock surrender- who then proceeded to make Snow angels, while Karen talked.

  “Hey you, what's up?” 

_ I'm at the apartment, you're not here. Where are you guys? _

  “You must have just missed us, we left like ten minutes ago. What are you doing at my place?”

_ I got work tonight, so I thought i’d drop off a bag for tomorrow- y’know cause it'll be friday. _

__ “Well that's awful presumptuous of you Frank, so sure you'll be staying over?” Karen silently laughed at him trying her best to sound serious. 

_ Ummm- _

“Well, presume away.” Finally he laughed with her, and she loved it- being this open and free with him. Free to joke, and laugh- she loved being like this.

_  Yeah, yeah- joke away. You didn't answer, where are you guys? _

“Oh well I thought it would be cool if Soph and I went to that fancy supermarket down the street, there's this Christmas dinner cooking demonstration thing going on- and I thought it might be fun. Besides Soph had a rough day.”

_ Yeah? Well maybe I can walk you to the market, it's on my way. Wait for me? _

Always. 

  “Sure, how long will you be?”

_ Just a few minutes, see ya. _

__  He didn't know how long she would wait. And if she was being honest she didn't know either, she had no clue how long she would wait for Frank Castle- but she had a feeling it would take a lot to turn her from him. 

 “Who was that?” The voice came from the floor, where Soph laid on her back- the most accurate she had ever seen her. An angel- her angel.  

  “Frank, he's gonna walk with us to the market.”

“Cool, do you think he’ll be mad I got in a fight?” Karen could barely contain the laugh that threatened to bubble to the surface, Sophie not knowing how distinctly not accurate that statement was. She could bet Frank would be proud of her- not for the fighting, though she doubted he would object to the fighting- but because she stood up for herself.

  “No, sweetie. I don't think there's a world where Frank could ever be mad at you.” And that was the honest truth, Karen never thought Frank could never be mad at either of them- sure he could get frustrated with her. But no matter what Karen does or did- she never thought he was actually angry with her. 

  Frank showed up not long after and saw a moment he wished he could have on constant replay in his mind- his two girls faces tinged with pink form the cold, snow in their hair- happy.

 “Hey!” Sophie waved at him like he didn't know exactly where they were, and came running towards him- she jumped in his arms and he was in heaven. Heaven and Hell- the heaven he thought he was living, but stuck being afraid something would go wrong and turn into Hell. His own private Hell, a Hell only he knew. 

   He spent the next ten minutes watching the Heaven-Hell play out before him, and Frank couldn't help but inject himself into that scene- playing with them and running and being stupid, until it was time to go.

  “So What happened today? I heard you had a bad one, Soph?”

A mix of embarrassment and fear crossed her face, “I uh- I got in a… in a fight.” 

 He could barely hear what she said, and couldn't imagine her fighting- when he looked up at Karen and saw her mouthing to him, ‘they were bullying her’

  Anger coursed through him for her, but he knew he had to keep it inside- and maybe later take it out on some shitbag that deserved it tonight. 

  “Well, next time make sure to wait until they throw the first punch.”

“Frank! You can't say that- but if someone tries to hurt you, you fight back.” She reconsidered reprimanding Frank not wanting her to be a delicate little wallflower who was afraid to confront those who hurt her. 

  The walk to the market left the three of them in a better mood than any of their days had been, the whole time spent laughing and joking- happy. And that's what was so scary, most of everything all three of them had been through their whole lives was shit- but right now felt too perfect, too ready to break, too easily broken by someone who didn't want them to be happy. So allowing yourself to feel this happiness was hard on all of them- yet they couldn't help but bask in the glow their sunshine bright happiness left in its wake. The real fear was not getting caught in the shadow that followed the sun- a foreboding risk of unavoidable fear.

  But they weren't in the shade yet, the sun still lit their path- and it followed Karen and Soph as they watched the holiday class for an hour and a half. Watching them make ham, and mashed potatoes, and pie- they let Sophie volunteer to layer the ham with pineapple because she was so cute and Karen took so many photos she couldn't choose her favorite. They walked around the store, looking at all the super expensive food that made them laugh at the difference from their normal grocery store. 

 They tried samples, first a spicy chocolate, then a cup of soy milk. “Wanna try it?”

Soph looked at it skeptically, “What is it?”

 “Soy milk, it's like regular milk- but instead from a cow, it's made from soybeans.”

Sophie glanced down at the tiny cup in Karen’s hand with disgust, “Ew…. From beans?”

 “Yeah, it's not so bad. Why don't you give it a try?”

The little girl nodded her head and took the cup, drinking the whole thing- and then looked back up at Karen with a still disgusted face. “Not very good.”

 She couldn't help but laugh, Sophie was trying new things- becoming her own little person. And Karen loved it, that little shy Soph was out of her shell- trying new foods and getting in fights, very different from who she was before. The coughing should have been the first clue. Soph asked for water on the way back home and they stopped at the bodega at the corner of her street, but kept going. The duo made it home, and everything was great. Everything was fine- except for the occasional cough. 

  Then a thud.

Happy.

   Panic

Sun.

_ 9-1-1, whats your emergency? _

Shade.

   She could hardly remember what she said.

What happened.

   “I-” 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think??????  
>  Thanks to all my readers and those of you who comment- an extra smooch for you!! LOL  
>  Tell me your theories for season 2!!!   
> SEE YA NEXT TIME!!!!

   “Ma’am?” The voice felt far off, like it was coming from the other side of a tunnel.

Frank? Is that you? 

   “Ma’am,” The voice came rushing forward, as if coming towards her down the tunnel, “Ma’am I've administered an epi pen- she should be fine. We’re gonna have to take her the hospital for observation then figure out what she's allergic to.” 

 Karen finally looked up at the man standing over Sophie, a young paramedic- too young. He couldn't be older than twenty five, how could he know what was wrong with her? After she called, it only took a few minutes until she heard the knocks on the door. Karen ran to the door and flung it open, thinking back now she knew the two paramedics that came in had done everything- but her mind had gone blank at the idea that this could be the moment Sophie stopped breathing. She was breathing hard, practically wheezing- and Karen couldn't do anything, she had no way of fixing it.

 “Are you the mother?”

Only one of them was doing the talking, the other was putting Sophie on a gurney- she was sitting up. He was giving her water.

   “Uhh.. Yeah- Yes I am.”

“Okay then you're riding with us. Lets go.” The man stood up and walked towards the other paramedic, before turning back towards her. “Make sure to bring your phone, bag, jacket- things like that. You'll be there awhile.” She nodded her head and grabbed her purse, her phone, a change of clothes for both herself and for Soph, her jacket, and made sure she had her wallet with her ID in it. She was ready. 

  Or at least she thought she was, the whole thing was a blur- getting in the ambulance, riding towards the hospital, arriving. All she could remember the whole trip was holding Sophie's hand and watching her breathe- making sure she was alright. Making sure it went up, then down, then up again- 

 “It's gonna be okay, Sophie.” The little girl nodded back at her as the paramedics rolled her into the hospital, Karen right at her side. Soph’s pretty blue-green eyes looking up at her- innocent and beautiful, and scared. 

  “Four year old, female. Allergic reaction- we administered the epi. Mom doesn't know what from.” A nurse took over and nodded her head before picking her up and transferring Sophie off the portable gurney and on to one from the hospital. 

 “Mom?” The nurse asked her and at Karens nod, they started moving, “Follow me this way then. We’ll take her to a room in pediatrics then we’ll get her some fluids and talk.”

 Karen nodded her head at the woman and followed her down the hallway, until they turned onto another hallway painted with colorful flowers and butterflies, this must be the peds department.  The woman opened a door and asked Karen to wait outside for the doctor while she got Sophie situated- Sophie did not like that. 

 “No!! Don't leave- please!!” She started crying and all Karen could see was the night Karen left her at the police station, and her heart broke. 

 “It's okay, Soph- I'll be just outside, I promise.” All she could do was smile at her and walk out the door, trying her best to keep the tears from falling- she knew if Sophie saw her crying it would all get worse. Dealing with both Sophie's emotions and her own was the hard part, if she only had to try and keep herself together she could do it- but having to keep herself together so Sophie wouldn't fall apart felt impossible. Watching Sophie practically close to death and have nothing she could do about it, no way of stopping it or helping her made her feel like she was stuck in some horrible nightmare.

  “Hello, I'm Dr. Jennifer Blake. I'm gonna be your daughters doctor for today- it looks like the nurse is done, why don't we head inside. She sounds like she’s looking for you.” The woman had dark red hair that was cropped short, it made her look young though she must have been Karen's age or older with the way she held herself. 

  “O-okay…” The woman led her in as the nurse was headed out, and Sophie finally stopped crying when she saw Karen coming back in. Her little hand reached out towards Karen, and she couldn't help but rush towards her and sit in the chair beside her.

 “So my name is Jennifer Blake and I am going to help you get better and make sure this never happens again, okay? What's your name, sweetie?”

  Sophie was clenching up and turning back into the shy recluse she had met on that fateful night- she was obviously afraid something bad would happen, that she would be taken- “It's okay, you can tell her.”

   “M’names Sophie.” The doctor smiled at the progress and wrote it down on the clipboard. 

“And yours?”

  “Karen. Karen Page.”

“Okay, so Karen and Sophie Page. Alri-” Karen interrupted, not because she objected to the name- honestly she wouldn't mind if that was the name Sophie had. But that thought was for another day, she knew these would be documents and she had to set the record straight that she was Sophie's foster mother, not what they thought.

  “Actually it's Sophie Ryan, I'm her foster mom.”

“Oh, okay then let me change that then- so you had an allergic reaction to something today, Sophie. Did you eat something out of the ordinary today?” The Doctor took her pen out, ready to write down on the medical chart anything that needed to be said.

  “I don't think so. I ate what I normally do at school.” 

“We did go to the supermarket tonight, and then it was shortly after that she started coughing and stuff.”

 Jennifer nodded her head, “And what happened there?”

“We tried some samples when we were there, some ah- some spicy chocolate…. But she's had chocolate before.”

  “Anything else?”

For some reason it was like her mind was muddied, she was having trouble remembering the afternoon with it being so stressful, “We tried uhh- we tried some… some soy milk. I mean- it's milk, I didn't think it would be a problem.”

 “Ahh a soy allergy- no cause for alarm. Now we know, it's actually pretty common in children. Most kids grow out of it as they get older, we’ll just have to be more vigilant.”

 Karen's hands started to shake, she pushed her to try it- Sophie didn't want any…. But Karen wanted her to try it, it was healthy it couldn't be bad? God, was she wrong. She almost killed her. “I thought- it was milk, I didn't think….. I didn't know, I wanted her to try something new- I thought I was being helpful making her try something new….”

 “There's no need to freak out. This sort of thing is completely natural, Miss Page.”

She stood up and started pacing, “Natural? I almost killed her...  How could I let something like this happen?”

 “I'm gonna be honest with you, Miss Page. How do you think people discover any sort of allergy? They have an incident- something goes wrong and luckily you noticed before anything could really go wrong. Now you'll just have to be more vigilant about her diet, okay?”

 She nodded at the red head, before moving back to the seat next to Soph who looked as tired as Karen felt. She wasn't surprised Soph was tired, it had been a long day and it was around bedtime for the little girl. 

  “Should I call CPS, or is that something you do?”

“We will have to notify CPS, but I recommend you notify your case worker as well. But I wouldn't worry about it.”  

  Karen scoffed at that, thinking this was gonna be something that would be a knock against her, “Wouldn't worry about it?”

 “No, I wouldn't worry about it. I've seen a lot here, and I'll tell you I've seen a lot of other foster parents who are a lot less worried or attentive as you. And I'll tell you this much, the social workers take into account the nurses and doctors assessment- so I think you'll be fine, you and Sophie.” Karen couldn't help but smile at the woman, as she stood and took the chart with her as she left the room- leaving only Sophie and Karen in the room.

 “How you doin, Soph? You good?”

Karen moved closer to the bed and mved the sweaty hair out of her eyes, running her fingers through Sophie's tangled curls. “I'm okay, just tired.”

  “You can go to sleep. I'll be right here, don't worry- go to sleep sweetie.”

“Okay. Is….” The little girl turned her head back and forth looking around before whispering, “Is Frank coming?”

 Karen felt a lump rising in her throat, a sadness that Sophie somehow knew having Frank around was against the rules. “I don't know, Soph. Why don't you close your eyes and I'll call him, okay?”

   “Okay.” Karen watched as her eyes closed before digging in her purse, not wanting to be too loud incase she actually fell asleep.

 She took her phone out and moved the chair to the corner of the room, incase he did answer- she didn't want Soph to hear Frank freakout. Because that's exactly what Karen was expecting, she had freaked out enough already- but she knew Soph was okay, watched with her own two eyes. It would be harder for Frank. She knew it would, after everything he's been through with his family. And because no matter what- he couldn't be here, even if he wanted to, Frank knew he wouldn't be able to come to the hospital. She wasn't even sure she wanted him here, too afraid he would be caught- Karen would rather not take the risk. Besides Karen and Frank had enough history in hospitals, they didn't need any more. But she did want him to know- to talk to him, to let him talk to Soph. Who was she kidding she needed to talk to him- he calmed her, and she needed him right now. If not in person, then she needed to hear his voice- that rough gravelly voice that made her feel safe. 

  So she dialed, and heard the rings growing more and more anxious the longer it took for him to answer. 

_  The number you have called is not available at this time. Leave a message after the tone--- _

Karen called again, hoping he just hadn't realized she was calling.

_ The number you have called is not available at this time. Leave a message after the tone--- _

Maybe he didn't think it was an emergency and he could call her back. So she punched his number again.

_ The number you have called is not available at this time. Leave a message after the tone--- _

Dammit Frank. Again.

_ The number you have called is not availa- _

Answer the god damn phone, Frank. Again.

_ The number you have called is not available at this time. Leave a message after the tone--- _

“It's me Frank. Jesus, answer the phone. We’re at the hospital, don't freak out- were fine. Sophie had an allergic reaction, just- just call me back.”  

 Karen sighed and hung up, before dialling once more- just incase.

_ The number- _

The memory of him telling her he had work tonight flitted across her mind, but she chose to ignore it- opting instead for moving her chair back towards the bed, knowing this was gonna be a long night. With an even more stressful morning with CPS to look forward to. Instead of dealing with all that Karen chose to let sleep take her. 

 She woke with a start- a dream. No, a memory- of sitting in a room not unlike this one with a man. With Frank, talking to a man she never thought she would be this close too. A man who made her feel things that paled in comparison to any kind of love she thought she had felt for anyone before. 

 “Whats a foster?” The voice startled her, and her head shot up- not knowing Soph was awake she smiled at her, before the questioned registered.

  “What?”

Her brain was still in that fogged just waking up stage, “Before- you said you were my foster mom. So what's a foster?”

   “Um it's uh- it's someone who takes care of someone who needs it. Like me with you.”

 She wasn't sure if that was the answer Sophie was looking for, but Karen thought it must have been enough since she went quiet. Karen got up and filled a cup with water from the pitcher at the side of the room, hoping the cold water would wake her up- unfortunately she would have to wait for breakfast to be brought to them or go get the coffee from the cafeteria. And she didn't want to leave- didn't think Soph would let her. 

 “Isn't that what moms do? Take care of people. So what's the difference between a mom and a foster mom?” These questions were far too complicated to hear and answer at this time of day, Karen thought.

  “Umm well- I guess it has to do with Miss Walker. Remember her? Well she asked me to take care of you until someone adopts you.” 

“Adopts me…. Because you don't want me? Forever?” Karen's eyes widened in disbelief at the question- yet knowing this would always be the questions Sophie would ask. When would someone leave me?

 “No, no, no, no, no- No. That's not it. It's- it has nothing to do with how much I want you- Some people- It has to do with people thinking I might not be good enough to raise you. That a different mom and dad could do a better job.” This might be the toughest thing she's ever had to do- including watching her almost die a few hours earlier. This was harder- to get a four year old to understand the legal system. Ridiculous. 

 “I don't want another Mom and Dad- I want you to be my mom and I want-” Karen was almost in tears when Sophie was cut off, the voice of the person who could take her from Karen the only reason she didn't tell them to piss off and let the little girl finish her god damn sentence.

 “Hello Miss Page. Hi Sophie- it's good to see you again.”

Karen looked up at her, a look that screamed government- “It's good to see you Mrs Walker.”

  
  


_    You have six missed calls and one voicemail- press one to play your last voicemail. _

One.

_  It's me Frank. Jesus, answer the phone. We’re at the hospital, don't freak out- we’re fine. Sophie had an allergic reaction, just- just call me back.  _

 Shit. 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry its so late!!! But i've had so much to do this week and I obviously had to go see Black Panther!!!   
>  Who else saw it???   
> I'll try my best to get the next one up asap!!!  
> PS Hearing from you guys makes me want to update faster!! LOL

_ One on your left. Two more coming from behind in thirty seconds. _

__ The voice in his head told him- David’s voice through the earpiece the curly headed fool insisted on him wearing whenever assisting for a mission.

_ Fifteen. _

Frank shoved the knife into the throat of the man who appeared next to his right shoulder, readying himself for the next two while trying to stay silent.

_ Ten. They’re right there. _

His fist came first, stunning the criminal before slitting his throat- the shock hardly registering on the second man. But disposing of the first gave the second man time to come to his senses and lay some lead into him. Frank felt the bullets in the vest, and knew they would leave some awful bruises. 

_ The drugs should be through the door in front of you and to your left. _

__ Not done. 

With a roar Frank charged at him and tackled the man to the ground- not caring if anyone else heard. If they knew what was good for them- they would know who was coming. Frank’s hands held his throat tightly, feeling the life drain out of him while still trying to fight. If it weren’t for the fact that he was dealing to minors, Frank would commend his strength and determination to stay alive- but he was scum. 

 Not worth the dirt on his shoe if he thought it was okay to give drugs to children- to people like Leo and Zach, and god forbid little Soph. He had to get rid of shitbags like him for her- so she could be safe at school, not worry about someone trying to solicit her. 

 Without a thought on weather this man could be “redeemed” Frank felt the life leave him and moved towards the room he had come for. As great as it would feel to burn all the drugs in this room and in this building- it was something else he came for. 

_ Look for some inconspicuous place, he wouldn't hide it somewhere obvious- something subtle. Some place you wouldn't expect. _

 He already knew that- because he would have done the same, Frank would have put something important in a place no one would glance at twice. So he put his head to the ground and prayed his sniffer could find the item he seeked.

 The bookcase in the corner caught his eye- doubting a common drug lord would be much of a reader. This is it- this is where it would be. Frank swept his arm across every shelf and around fifty books fell to the floor, and like all cheesy spy movies he saw what he was looking for. A book whose pages were scooped out and a smaller notebook laid in the square cutout, Frank picked it up and knew this was the right thing. He left the room to pick up the gasoline he left outside before returning, Frank soaked everything and began the process of leaving the part of himself that was the Punisher behind. What he did whenever he came out from his night job- Frank tried to leave behind before going back to see his girls, hopefully free of any bruises on his face. 

  The metal in his pocket felt heavy when he pulled it out, a lighter he had lifted off one of the bodies he left in his wake. Replacing the object he had in his pocket before, Frank put the notebook deep so it wouldn't be lost and opened the flame. 

  “I'll bring the notebook over on Sunday, you can scan it and analyze it then, good?”

_ Yeah- I can finally get some god damn sleep, you know what time it is? Way past my bedtime. I feel like i'm back in high school, watching porn under the covers in the middle of the night- praying my mom won't walk in on me waking off. _

__ “What time is it anyway?” Frank was a few blocks past the building when he felt the hear and heard the sirens, but kept on walking knowing it was too late. 

_ It's like four almost five, Sarah doesn't know i'm awake. You're the porn in this situation- that i'm trying to hide from mom, who would be Sarah. _

  “Yeah I get it, now go sneak back into bed.”

_ Ahh so now you're the other woman- the plot thickens, scandalous indeed.  _

 “Shut your ass up, Lieberman- get to bed ya goof…” 

_ Alright, alright- g’night Frank. Say hi to Karen and Sophie for me. _

 “I will.” Speaking for the girls left a strange pull in his heart, now a known a fact that was where he was headed later made his throat tighten. 

 It was another twenty minutes until he got back to his place- he couldn't call it home. It didn't feel like a home, it felt like a place he went to sit and wait until he went over to Karen’s. Not that he could call that home either- he didn't live there, but it felt more like a home than his own place. It was a strange phenomena that the place he slept every night felt lonely and isolating, yet the apartment he went to only a few nights a week felt better than this. The apartment was filled with a warmth that filled him whenever he walked in, with Sophie, and Duck, and Karen- a place where he felt whole again if only for the short time he was there.

  Frank woke with a start, a feeling he couldn't ignore sat in the pit of his stomach- like an ugly hangover. Which was impossible since he would have remembered if he’d had anything to drink, but he took some pills anyway hoping to shake the feeling. Yet still half an hour later the gross feeling hadn't subsided. 

 An hour and it was still there- so Frank laid down thinking despite the ten o'clock sun he could grab a quick nap, but as much as he tried to fall into a dreamless sleep Frank couldn't calm down. The feeling was eery and made him feel sick in a way where he couldn't hurl no matter how much as he wanted too. 

 He grabbed his phone thinking he could find a book to read that would pull him into boredom which would eventually lead to sleep, Frank turned it on and immediately sat up. 

  Almost a dozen missed calls. 

All from Karen.

 Three text messages.

**_Frank?_ **

  All from Karen.

**_Answer the phone!_ **

 His heart was hammering.

**_If you decide to answer could u go walk Duck, I don't know how long we’re gonna be._ **

 One voicemail.

_ You have eleven missed calls and one voicemail- press one to play your last voicemail. _

One.

_  It's me Frank. Jesus, answer the phone. We’re at the hospital, don't freak out- we’re fine. Sophie had an allergic reaction, just- just call me back.  _

 Shit. 

Before anymore thoughts could run through his head, he was out the door and practically running. Where? He really couldn't say. 

 Not until he arrived. Frank stood outside the hospital and realized he couldn't go in, even if no one recognized him and he wasn't caught on any cameras. He wouldn't be able to get a pass to see them, he wasn't the father or the husband. 

 There was nothing he could do. 

So he called.  _ You've reached Karen Page, leave me a message and I'll get back to you.  _

 Again.

_ You’ve reached Karen Page, leave me a message and I’ll get back to you. _

 Another.

And another.

_ You’ve reached Karen Page, leave me a messa-   _ “Stop calling- I'm talking to Social Services Fr- Look I can't talk right now, just… Just get to my place and walk Duck, we’ll be back later and Soph is gonna want to see you at home.”

  “But I'm-” Frank tried to get a word in but she wouldn't let him. The woman was obviously close since she didn't want to say his name out loud, yet he needed to know.

  “I can't talk. I'll see you later, got it?”

She hung up before he could respond, and he fumed with anger and worry the whole way back to the apartment, only to be greeted by an equally jittery and nervous dog. Duck obviously hadn't taken the paramedics coming in here and taking both the little girl and Karen away- and he couldn't blame him. Frank hated this, and he didn't know what to do, or say, or even act. 

 Thought ran rampant through his head- good thought, bad thoughts, painful thoughts, disturbing thoughts- things he wasn't proud of.

 Things he wasn't sure how to feel about, but he made the call anyway- “Come over. Now. Bring a laptop- all your shit to hack.”

 A groggy response that he couldn't deal with right now, “What are you talking about?”

Shut up- just do as I asked, “Come over. With whatever equipment you need.”

 “You want me to come over to your place? Can it wait? We had a long night…”

An irrational anger that he couldn't control came out of him, “NO! I need you now. Come over to Karen's- Now! I don't give a shit if your tired I will come over there and drag you here myself.:

 “To Karen’s?”

“Yes! To Karen's, stop asking stupid questions! I need- I need you, please.”

 The please must have made David realize this was serious, because he heard the rustle of clothes in the background.

 “Did something happen?”

“Yes….” He didn't elaborate, he couldn't.

  “Shit- I'll be right there.” The silence was deafening, yet David refused to be the one to hang up- knowing it had to be Frank who had the last word.

 “And David….. Bring a few cameras- the tiny ones.”

“Frank….”

The line went dead and David knew it was bad, so he rushed as fast as he could over to the little apartment as quick as possible. He parked and flew up the stairs after Frank buzzed him in, wondering if the girls were injured in the apartment- dead? He had no clue.

  “Frank?” 

The knocking was incessantand never ending, only stopping when he yanked the door open. 

 “Where are they?”

“The hospital.” David looked around the apartment, searching for anything- blood, glass, any sign of struggle. 

 “What happened?”

“Allergic reaction, Soph- at least that's what I heard.”

  “Allergic reaction?! That was the emergency? Jesus, Frank- I thought they were actually hurt.”

Frank whirled towards the man who sat on the couch, he was obviously a lot more comfortable now, “Not hurt? They are in the hospital- and I didn't know about it!! I had my goddamn phone off and they went to the emergency room last night- AND I DIDN'T KNOW!”

 David's attitude shifted, knowing this wasn't just about the girl being hurt- this was about the hurt in Frank, the fear that wouldn't go away. That haunted him at every turn. 

 “Okay, okay- I get it… But, why do you need me- I seriously doubt you need me here just to be a shoulder to cry on, so what do you need?”

 Frank’s mind was still on edge, yet his body calmed when he was asked what to do- knowing David might not approve, but if anyone would it would be him. 

   “I need….”

“What? What do you need?”

   “I need you to put up some cameras…”

Silence. That's all there was for a few minutes- the crazy thoughts running through Franks head told him this was the only option to keep him sane. 

 “I don't know, Frank. It feels- it feels wrong to assist you in watching them. And I know that sounds hypocritical, but I feel like this is different.”

 “How is this different?”

“I don't know- I just, I don't know… You're alive, you can be with them- I couldn't so it was my last option to keep them safe.”

 “I just want to keep them safe.”

“And you can't do that? You're freaking Frank Castle- you can do anything man.” 

  “I can't! Look at this, I couldn't keep them safe- Soph was hurt and I wasn't here.”

“It's an allergy there's no way you could have done anything to stop that!”

 Frank couldn't sit still, not when talking about the girls safety- “But I didn't know about- that's the point…. I don't want to spy on them, I don't even want to watch the feeds.”

  “Then what do you want them for?”

“I want them incase anything happens- like a robbery or something worse, and then I can go back and see who did it or who has them.” 

 “Are you kidding? The likelihood of a robbery happening in the place you basically live, and you not being there is unlikely- the chances of that happening are almost impossible…” 

Impossible? Unlikely? Him? “Do you know who I am? What are the chances my family was murdered in the park, or any of the other fucked up things i've been through- I don't, I'm not- Luck has nothing to do with it…. I need this.” 

  David felt something like shame flow through him when Frank told him all the reasons this was necessary, his resolve on the subject crumbling with each second. 

  “I guess…. Where would you out them? If I gave them to you…”

Frank took a second to think about, “I guess one in the kitchen, the living room, the door, and the window near the fire escape- nowhere private or anything, just for precaution.”

 It didn't sound unreasonable, not like he wanted to watch them sleep or anything- David finally gave in with a nod, knowing this was necessary for Frank. 

 “So do you want the password?”

“No I don't want to watch the feeds, I want you to check in every so often and if anything looks amiss go back on the feeds and see if anything happened.”

  “And if something does happen?”  

“Then you call me- twice. If I don't answer you know something has happened, and if you can't get ahold of me to save them-”

 “Then what?”

Frank breathed in and out, a subject they had already discussed- “Then call the Devil….”

 “Him? You sure he’ll come?”

“We know who he is and where he is- but he’ll come for her.” 

  David nodded while keeping thoughts of how he would have to ask the man to do something for him while knowing his identity.

  He couldn't do much for Frank, but he could do this. He would do this. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to repeat:  
> I'm so sorry its so late!!! But i've had so much to do this week and I obviously had to go see Black Panther!!!   
>  Who else saw it???   
> I'll try my best to get the next one up asap!!!  
> PS Hearing from you guys makes me want to update faster!! LOL   
> Tell me what you think!!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait y’all I’ve been super busy but I’ll try my best to get em out as soon as possible

The door opened and a feeling Frank hadn’t felt for a long time rushed through him, quickly punching him in the gut- then leaving just as fast. A feeling he could hardly describe with words- happiness, relief, anger at something he couldn’t control, sadness that Karen had to deal with it by herself, a mix of all of them. A feeling he thought he might never feel again- yet here it was a lasting bruise of feelings in his heart.  
“Princess!!! You good?” Frank rushed the little girl and swung her up into his arms, with a just as excited pup at his heels.  
“Frank! Your here!!”  
A wave of sadness at the shock in her voice waved through him, “Of course I’m here, Soph. I had to make sure you were okay. So are you? Okay?”  
She nodded her head at him before moving quicker than he expected and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Frank wouldn’t admit it but he could feel a slight blush color his cheeks, making it next to impossible to look Karen in the eye.   
But he had to when Soph started squirming in his arms to be let down to go play with Duck, who was just as relieved to see her after being taken away by the paramedics.  
“Karen….” He wasn’t sure what to say, what there was to say. Frank just looked at her, and she stared back at him- a look in her eyes that no doubt reflected in his own. A look neither of them acknowledged, but was there all the same.  
She opened her mouth to say something, and he needed to hear what she was about to say- what was almost about to fall from her lips when Soph yelled from her bedroom.  
“Kare!!! Should I get dressed?”   
“Uhh, Yeah- get dressed. We’ll head out soon.”  
“Jacket too?”  
“Duh, c'mon lady you can’t go out at night in New York in the middle of December without a jacket. Pick warm clothes too, nothing to cutesy- okay?”  
“Okay!!!”  
Frank looked at her puzzled, but before he could get the question out she answered it for him, “She’s been cooped up in the hospital, I promised her once we got back home we could go out. And I figured since it’s almost Christmas we could go buy a tree and shop a little or something…”   
She was obviously not finished and had something else to say, and for all that Frank was he couldn’t find the words to say- he knew what month it was, heard all the music everywhere he went but he hadn’t actually celebrated Christmas in years. He had been on leave for the last Christmas his family was alive and had regretted it ever since, but since then the holiday was never something to celebrate- yet he knew what she was gonna say.  
And wasn’t mad about it, “Wanna come with?”   
Silence was the answer, despite the casual air of the question Karen knew this was big- and as much as she wanted him to come she wouldn’t have been surprised if he said no.  
“To pick out a tree? Sure, I can- I can do that…”  
A pleasant surprise, but a surprise nonetheless Karen’s face lit up with a shocked happiness, but for his sake she tried to tone it down- to make it seem like it wasn’t as big a deal. But he saw through her- always did. Always will.   
“O-okay, yeah- let me just go get changed and help Soph then we can go, okay?”  
He watched her practically skip back to her room to grab a change of clothes out of the ones she had been wearing at the hospital- a smell in which she was sure was on her, yet knew it was probably just stuck in her mind-nose. A phantom scent that would always be associated with Soph being hurt- and a helplessness that would always haunt Karen.  
She quickly pulled out a warm pair of jeans and some wool socks, her boots that had a little heel and made her feel a tiny bit fancier, a blouse and grabbed a beanie that Frank had left behind one of the nights he was here, and slipped it on.  
Karen went over to Sophs room and saw a mess, so instead of taking forever and letting the little girl choose her own outfit, Karen picked pieces out of the pile and told her in her ‘stern no nonsense’ voice that this is what she was going to wear.   
Soph had conceded to most everything, but refused to wear anything but a dress- so Karen pulled a red plaid dress out that she always complained about being to warm in, then some wool tights and her boots. Sophie however insisted on picking her own jacket- but let Karen say yes or no until she had to pick between two, and she went with a gray button up that satisfied both of them. They were about ready to go when Sophie pulled her down and pointed at her head. “You have to do my hair, duh?”  
Karen looked down at the knotted mess and sighed knowing she did have to at least brush it, “Don’t duh me, Miss missy.”  
After putting in a bit load of detangler Karen pulled it up into to high pigtails that reminded her Cindy lou who. The final touch being the panda earmuffs she had insisted on buying a few weeks ago after the first real snow fall.   
“We’re readyyyy!!!!” Soph belted out in a song-songy voice that made both adults cringe.  
“You look like you are, sweetheart. You ready?”  
The little girl's eyes bulged in something that rivaled a cartoon, “You’re coming with us Frank?”  
The oof that met Karen’s ears was indication enough the little girl had rammed her body into Frank, “You bet he is, Soph. He’s gonna help us shop. What I really mean is he’ll carry all the stuff when it gets too heavy, right Frank?”  
Frank laughed at the stage whisper Karen directed at the little girl, before opening the door and heading out.   
Once they were walking down the street with Soph between them, having grabbed both their hands and trying to swing herself- Frank realized they were walking.   
“Wait what are we doing, how are we gonna bring it back?” Karen had the decency to look sheepish before answering.  
“Well I was hoping you could- y’know carry it back for us- it’s only like another block or so away and we’re not gonna get a super big tree, just a normal size one.” She hadn’t met his eyes when she said it, and despite it being a stupid idea Frank couldn’t help but feel a little warm that they needed him.  
“And what, might I ask were you going to do if I had said that I didn’t want to come?”  
“Umm pick a smaller tree?” The answer was a question- obviously despite everything somewhere in Karen’s head she knew he would say yes. All he could do was laugh- and it struck him that being with Karen and Soph made him feel something that had been missing for a long time.   
Joy or happiness- something like that, only with them was a free enough to laugh. And not some fake shit, but real, deep, heart shaking, stomach hurting laughter.   
And despite the tiny shrivel of guilt he felt for feeling like this, the interesting thing was that with his two girls he could look past it and feel better when he was with them.

The mall was everything he hated- crowded, hot from all the people packed in like sardines, and some weird feeling that he was being watched- but he brushed it off on their being so may people around. Something he would later regret.  
The trio walked around for about twenty minutes just looking at stuff, when Soph came to an abrupt stop that almost had Frank tripping over her.  
“Oh. My. God…. It’s Santa!!!!! He’s over there!!!” Her excitement was loud and had her running towards the bearded man, with Karen trailing behind trying not to lose her.  
“Look! He’s talking to those kids, can I go talk with him? I want to tell him what I want. Can we? Pleaaassseeee??” Karen’s heart broke that she had never had a chance to sit on Santa’s lap and take a picture- that this was a first for her. Yet she was glad it was her who could give this experience to Soph.   
She also realized in that moment she was going to have to put a lot more work into the whole ‘Santa coming on Christmas Eve’ thing. She thought it would be easy, but maybe not. If Soph was this excited to meet him, it was probably going to be hard to make her fall asleep so she can get all the presents under the tree the night of.   
“I mean sure, I don’t see why not?” She had just finished saying that when she saw the line- a long, seemingly endless line of parents and toddlers.  
“Oooh I don’t know Soph, I think we’re gonna have to choose between meeting Santa and going to shop for presents. I don’t think we’ll have enough time to do both with how long this line is.” It already closing in on five o’clock, she knew they were crunched for time. The sadness was evident on her face, before a look of determination crossed over her little eyes.  
“But I need to pick presents for… certain people- y’know?” And Karen did know, one of the main reasons Soph wanted to shop was that she wanted to get Frank a present and one for her teacher, and she’s assuming Soph wanted to buy one for Karen as well. So this was going to be a tough choice. Soph was on the verge of tears, having to choose between the two when Frank cut in.  
“Why don’t… Why don’t I get in line and hold the spot while you guys shop? Will that work?”  
Sophs eyes brightened at the notion she could do both and she jumped at him, “It’s perfect! You can’t come with us anyway- I can’t buy your present if your with me, dummy.”   
“Hey don’t call me dummy if I’m gonna be holding your ticket to seeing Santa…” The threat of it not happening had Soph zipping the imaginary lock and key, before throwing it over her shoulder.  
“What about Karen, are you gonna buy her present with her there?” Soph shook her head.  
“Nope! You’ll just have to bring me back some other day to get Karen’s present!”  
He laughed at the spunk, “Yeah sureeee.”  
“Are you sure, Frank? It looks like that line could get kinda crazy- insane sleep deprived parents pushing and all…”  
Frank laughed before walking towards the line with the two of them in tow, one in his arms and the other older one right behind.  
“Please, sweetheart I been to war, I think I can handle these folks,” frank leaned down towards Karen before speaking in a whisper, “Besides if anything goes wrong I’ll go all Punisher on their asses to get to see Santa.”   
She couldn’t help but laugh at him, imagining the Punisher punching his way to the North Pole to get a word in with the man in the red suit- and she wasn’t talking about the devil of Hell’s Kitchen either.   
Frank walked into the line behind the velvet rope, and passed the little girl over it into Karen’s arms. She smiled at him and his stomach flipped in some stupid teenage high school type way, yet he smiled right back at her.  
Frank watched his two girls walk away from him towards wherever they needed to go, and he couldn’t imagine what would have happened if he hadn’t found Soph that night. What would’ve happened to her, what would have happened with Karen, what would’ve happened to himself.   
“You have a beautiful family.” The voice startled him, and he turned to the old woman who obviously came with her grandson.  
Family?   
Is that what people saw when they looked at them? A family?  
Is that what this was? Who knows?  
Frank wasn’t sure but he knew he loved his girls and would do absolutely anything for them- no matter what.  
“Thank you ma’am.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait y’all I’ve been super busy but I’ll try my best to get em out as soon as possible


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooooo sorry for the long wait!!! I've had a hard time coming up with how to phrase this chapter, I feel like I know how I want to finish the story but getting there is the hard part. Please comment it helps me keep going!!! LOL I had to go back and watch both Daredevil Season 2 and Punisher season 1 and I was inspired with how amazing it was again!!! LOVE YOU ALL!! Thanks for the support- keep reading!!

 

  “Rudolph the rednose reindeer had a very shiny nose! And if you ever sa-” Frank sat on the couch with her watching the movie about a bullied reindeer that he hadn't seen in years, this not being the first christmas themed movie they watched today. Frosty the snowman, home alone, Charlie Brown Christmas among many others. 

Soph was very excited- the understatement of the year!

“This is the last one Soph, then we’ll put the cookies out an look up where Santa is on google before getting ready for bed, Okay?” The little girl nodded before continuing singing and watching the movie. It had been a long and tiring day for both Karen and Frank, but for Sophie it had been a day full of anticipation- she couldn't wait for Santa to come and for her to rip open all the gifts he had promised. 

 After the shopping trip the two girls had made they returned back to a very annoyed looking Frank, whose face immediately lit up when he saw them. Being surrounded on both sides by screaming children and yelling parents for almost an hour and a half all alone had been worse than Frank had expected. The last half hour had been a lot better once the girls showed up, Frank could finally relax, with an excited Soph who jumped up and down and begged Frank to put her on his shoulders s she could have a better view of Santa- while Karen smiled gratefully at him and grabbed his hand. It was a few minutes later that he realized she hadn't pulled away, and he refused to be the one to do so, her soft pale hand was a complete contrast to the rough tan hand that belonged to him. Frank could hardly believe that those hand which Karen trusted so much with both herself and with Soph were the same ones that pulled the trigger almost every night. Things were obviously different now- it being harder and harder for him to leave Karen's bed at night, and yet every other day he told himself he had to do it. 

 “So what are you gonna ask Santa for? Anything specific, Soph?”

The little girl looked down at Karen thoughtfully before answering, “I know what i'm going to ask for, but it's a secret. I can't tell you what it is or it won't come true.”

 “Nah, nah that's birthday wishes, those ones are secrets- you can tell us what you want for christmas, sweetheart.” Frank laughed up at the little girl.

 “I'm not sure if that's true- but I won't risk it! Maybe i'll tell you if it comes true, okay?”

Both the adults chuckled at her before turning forward to see they were only two people away from the end of the line. Frank pulled Soph down from his shoulders to put her in front of him, telling her she had to walk up to Santa by herself. 

 “Next in line….” The elf in front of them guided Karen and Frank behind the camera, while Soph walked up to the big man by herself. 

 “Why hello there! What's your name?” 

“My name is Sophie…”

 “Well it's nice to officially meet you Sophie, wanna come up?” Sophie nodded her head and Santa picked her up to put her on his lap. 

  “Have you been a good girl this year, Sophie?” 

“Yes, I think I've been good.”

 The man in red nodded his head before asking her what she wanted for Christmas this year, at that both Karen and Frank leaned closer- hoping it would give them a better clue on what to get her.When Soph leaned in to whisper in his ear, it was one of the only times Karen wished Matt was here with his freaky hearing abilities- then she berated herself for calling anything freaky about one of her dead friends.

 More than a week later Soph had kept it a secret from both of them what she said to Santa, neither of the adults thinking she would have been able to keep it to herself that long. Sophie was very private about the wish she had made, and kept saying it wouldn't come true if she said it to them. 

_ “I want Karen to be my mom. Like forever….. And maybe- maybe Frank can be there forever too.” _ Santa nodded at her at that, a look in his eyes Soph couldn't explain. A swirl of happiness and sadness that she thought weird to see on Santa.

 “I'll try my best, little lady- now why don't we take the picture.” Then they both turned towards the elf holding the clicker for the camera, and the flicker went on and off a few times. 

Karen and Frank couldn't help but smile at the little girl who looked so happy- a stark difference from the girl they had found a few months prior. 

  “Mom? Dad? Do you want to get in there for a family picture as well?” The voice brought the adults out of their bubble, and they looked over at the elf who had asked. 

 “S-sure… Frank?” The question was unasked but Frank knew what she was asking, wanting to know if this would be too much for him. Karen had a look so desperate and hopeful it was almost painful to look at- like looking at the sun, something dangerous but oh so amazing. 

 “Yeah-lets go. C’mon…” He grabbed her hand and pulled Karen over towards their girl and the man in red- 

 Karen blamed the tears in her eyes on the flash of the camera, a moment so beautiful she had a hard time describing in words- yet no problem recalling the memory perfectly in her mind. When the woman asked if she wanted some of them printed up and the digital copies as well, Karen greedily nodded her head wanting to be able to look at these pictures as often as possible. 

 And now she looked at that picture everyday, walking past the one she framed and put up in the living room of all three of them- hoping and praying there would be more photos of the three of them in the future. Soph had insisted on having one in her room as well of the trio with Santa, while Frank had secretly printed the one of just Karen and Soph that sat in the breast pocket of his coat everywhere he went. Now his jacket had two one family and another- both equally loved, and both equally undeserved. 

  Watching Karen and Soph plate the cookies in ‘a way Santa would like’ and then moving over to the computer to look up where he was, left Frank with a feeling in his chest that made it hard to breathe- not in a bad way, but in beautiful way.

 “Ooh look he's coming up the coast- Santa and the sleigh are in  South Carolina right now. He’s getting close!! You got to get to bed before he gets here, little lady. Lets go!” Sophie screamed before running to the restroom to brush her teeth, another place Frank had interjected himself. Karen having set aside a towel that was specifically ‘his’- a toothbrush he had brought over, a new more intense first aid kit Karen had bought a while back for anything serious. 

  Putting the hyper little lady to bed was a lot harder than she thought it was going to be, Soph wanted to stay up and catch him to make sure she got what she wished for until finally Karen had to threaten that Santa wouldn't come until she was asleep that she got out of the room. 

 It was only around eight thirty, but Karen knew she would have to get to sleep early because tomorrow would be an extra long day, with Soph being so excited Karen fully expected to be up at the crack of dawn. She headed to her room and saw Frank already in bed, a sight it was still strange to see, something that took a while to get used too. Frank Castle reading Moby Dick, under her covers, in her bed, in her home. 

 Karen crawled in bed facing towards him she yawned the tiredness of the day out of her, “Merry Christmas Eve Frank… Can you wake me up at like three thirty to put the presents out? I know for a fact Soph is going to get up at least once tonight and the stuff can't be out yet, and I know that time is more aligned to your schedule, so can you?” 

 Her eyes were already closed when he looked down at her, “Sure, I can do that.”

“Thanks, Frank..”

  He was about to let her catch up on the much needed sleep she was going to need for her first Christmas with a kid, but then he remembered the two little packages he brought with him when he came over.

 “Wait before you go to bed I gotta ask you something…” Her eyes sleepily opened, letting him know it was okay to keep going. “I got you and Soph a little something.”

 “Oh that's sweet of you Frank…”

“And I wanted to show em to you before I gave it to Soph, I wanted to make sure you were okay with it without letting her know about it- incase you're not okay with it.”

 At that Karen finally sat up while rubbing her eyes, “Okay with it? What wouldn't I be okay with? What’d you get us some matching guns or something?”

 “Well I saw these things at a store that would be perfect for the both of you, but then I made some tinkering of my own that I'm not sure you're gonna be cool with, so I just want to ask first.”

Her curiosity was piqued and she was dying to know what it was he could have done, “So what is it? What did you get us?” 

 He pulled out the first box and then the second opening them both at the same time, the first a little charm bracelet with a little duck on it that almost broke her heart with how sweet it was, and she couldn't comprehend how this could be anything she wouldn't approve of. 

 The second was a necklace with a triangle in the center, made of some metal that she wasn't sure she could describe, and a little heavier than she would have expected- simple, and Karen couldn't deny that she loved both of them. Still confused at why she wouldn't like them, she turned back towards the man in question.

 “I love them, Soph will love it- what’s the problem?” A look of embarrassment- or shame crossed his features before he looked down at his twiddling fingers.  

 “You know how I am- I need to know- okay here we go...  In the necklace I had David place a sort of panic button that will activate a tracking device in both your necklace and in Sophs bracelet- this is the part I don't know how you'll feel about it. I know it seems strange to have a tracking device or whatever but it's not like I'd be tracking you all the time or anything- only if you hit the button, in case you're in trouble. I just need to know so that if you do activate it David will know where you are then I will come for you- I will always come for you, for both of you.” 

 It took a few minutes before Karen spoke again, a few minutes to process what he had just said. Decide if it was something they would need, if this was something they needed- and despite all the misgivings she had about the whole thing, about being tracked- it was probably for the best. With the luck she had, combined with all the shit Frank had been through this was probably something that would make both of them feel better whether they needed it or not. And she prayed to every God out there they wouldn't need it.

 “Okay Frank, okay- it's okay. I'll wear it.” She nodded her head at him and a surprised yet grateful look crossed his face before he swooped down towards her. A mix of kisses that covered her face, from her forehead to her eyes and lips- everywhere. A hug so tight she could hardly breathe, he brought her down to her sheets and it was the most comfortable she had been in a long time.

  “Merry Christmas, Karen…” It was the last thing she heard before she fell asleep, warm and safe- and happy.

 

 “Wake up! Wake up! It's christmas morning!!!!” Soph’s voice tore her from her sleep and Karen almost had a panic attack when the little girl tore her from the bed and Karen thought she was going to kill Frank for not getting her up- then she went into the living room and saw all the presents around the tree. As if Santa really had come in the middle of the night and setup all the gifts in the tree and in the stockings.

  Soph ran to the presents and didn't look up for the longest time, the only thing that distracted her was the cup of coffee that was placed in front of her. 

 “Merry Christmas sweetheart, have some coffee.”

She looked up at him with amazement and thankfulness for the glorious cup of coffee, “Why didn't you wake me up last night?”

 “You looked like you needed the sleep, I couldn't wake you- I had to let you sleep ma’am…”

Frank sat down next to her and put his arm behind her on the couch watching the little girl shred the wrapping paper like a shark, “Well thanks, I did need it. I mean it's only like five thirty in the morning. Seems like she couldn't wait any longer.”

  “Neither could I, you gonna wear it?” He pulled out the necklace and she couldn't help but smile at him, pulling her hair back and letting him put it on her. The smile on her face was bright and happy, a moment in time she would hold onto- frozen in her mind to keep help her through the rough and tough shit that was bound to come. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooooo sorry for the long wait!!! I've had a hard time coming up with how to phrase this chapter, I feel like I know how I want to finish the story but getting there is the hard part. Please comment it helps me keep going!!! LOL I had to go back and watch both Daredevil Season 2 and Punisher season 1 and I was inspired with how amazing it was again!!! LOVE YOU ALL!! Thanks for the support- keep reading!!


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's back!!! What did you think? I really hope you like it!!! Please tell me what you did or didn't like- it helps me with what to do next!!

 

 It was strange how being happy made you do stupid things, make dumb decisions- things you never would have done had you been miserable. Being happy made you oblivious about noticing things that should have been obvious- and yet here he was. 

_  Frank, wake up…. C’mon get up- Frank. _

Karen tried to wake him up, it had been a long night- with her and Soph. Couldn't she let him sleep a little longer?

_   Frank- _

“Frank-”

_  Get up, Frank. _

“Get up FRANK!”

  Karen?

“Get your ass up, Frank!!” Blinking his eyes, Frank felt an unnatural heaviness in his head- where was he? The last thing he could remember was walking- he was on his way to Karen's place for friday movie night. Why couldn't he remember getting there? His head was killing him, his arms felt like they were pulled out of the sockets, and his mouth felt dry- like he hadn't spoken in a long long time. 

 Forcing himself to open his eyes, he looked down at his body- tied to a chair, his hands zip tied behind his back- Frank knew something was wrong. He finally looked up and his jaw dropped in shock.

 “Recognize me, Frank? Get a good look at what you did to my face?” Franks vision was blurry at first, but he knew that voice- it took him a minute to focus on the man in front of him, then all he could do was laugh. 

 “Shit Bill- look at ya! Your face looks like it went through a meat grinder….” 

His old friend smiled at him- if the thing his face was doing could even be called a smile, before a fist shot his head to the side. A familiar ringing could be heard that felt far off but he knew from experience would soon lead to a headache, it was strange after so many weeks trying to keep his face free of bruises for the girls Frank would've thought he would almost forget this kind of feeling- but it was the same as it had always been. 

  Thinking back he wondered how he got here, then the moment flooded back to him like a confused hangover after a regrettable night of drinking- Frank had been walking back to Karen's place. That's what he had been doing- now he remembered. 

   He had been smiling like an idiot thinking back to new years the week before when the Liebermans came over to Karen’s place to watch the ball drop on tv. It had been a bit cramped, but Frank was proud. He was happy he could bring David over and show him his life- that he wasn't stuck in one category- Frank was a man of many sides. He was the Punisher, he was a marine, he was husband of Maria, he was Dad to Lisa and Frank Jr.- but that's not all he was. He was the man who created this life with Karen and Sophie- he wasn't sure he could define his role so clearly with his girls as he could with Maria and the kids- but this was who he was, who he could be.

  Frank was thinking about the kiss between him and Karen, how sweet and beautiful it had been- walking through the crowds of New York City when he felt a prick in his shoulder. He couldn't have told you who stuck him with the needle, only look down and know he was in the shits. 

 Looking around he took in his surroundings and was confused, it looked like a studio with a bunch of computers sitting not too far away from him, behind Billy who sat right in front of him. There was a few doors to the left of the room, one he could only assume was the exit he would inevitably use after he finally killed this man. 

 “Well when the hell did you get out?” Frank spit the blood that was filling his mouth from his probably broken nose on the floor, before looking up at the man in question.

  “Ehh like a few months ago….”

He started laughing- knowing it would set off Billy to hear anyone make fun of him, “Took you all this time to grow the balls to come and see me?”

  “No, actually Frank it might surprise you to know I found you two days after I got out- and this is the part your gonna love,” The look in his eyes felt a bit unsettling, after waking up in an unknown place, tied up with Billy ficking Russo- this was the part that was worrying him. 

 “Here I was thinking you'd be holed up in some ditch, when what do you know my men tell me they found Frank Castle walking the streets like he has every right too- after everything you did to me you were acting like some regular ducking joe. So I tell myself the only way this is gonna be any fun is if I just torture the shit out of you, then you walk out of some building with a dog. And i'm like ‘Yes! Another thing to use to torture Frank with!’ Isn't that nice?”

 All Frank could do was pray this wasn't gonna go the way he thought- the thing he had nightmares about most nights.

  “Then even better, who do I see but Karen fucking Page- you and Karen Page? I had no clue- but that was fine with me, another way to torture you…. That's when I saw her-” Billy circled him before rubbing his shoulders, letting him know he was fucked- and it  made Frank worry he might throw up.

  No.

He knew.

 God dammit.

“You? With Karen Page and some little girl? I never have any family- nothing. But you? You get two…. Whats her name? Sophia?”

  Sophie.

“Nah, nah- it's Sophie. I remember, I saw the things you've done with them. Halloween, pictures with Santa- you love them.” It wasn't a question. It was a statement. A true one- but something he couldn't confirm.

  “Bullshit I could never- not after Maria. I feel… I feel responsible for them, I found Sophie but I don't love them!” God he hoped Billy would at least buy this, and leave them the hell alone.

 “You might think I'm stupid Frank- but I'm not. I know you, I know what you look like when you love something. I've seen it. Why do you think I waited so long to come and get you?”

 It was a question that had occurred to Frank the minute Billy mentioned his girls but was too busy trying to throw him off their scent to care to ask. Frank knew it was best to stay silent, better than saying something and giving away how much he really cared. 

 “Okay, don't ask- I'll tell you anyway. I know you, Frank- you might not think I do, but I do- I know you so well it's insane. I know after everything you went through with Maria and the kids, you'd be crazily overprotective.” Not a stretch- it wouldn't be so hard to understand that he was worried something might happen. Billy would know- he was responsible for what had happened.

  “Maybe with cameras? I thought that might be something you would do- and at first you surprised me when you didn't have them. But eventually you did what I expected, and I took advantage of that.” 

 Where was this going? Frank was worried this whole speech of his was leading up to something awful, it could only be awful when it came to Billy.

“It took a few weeks, and a few hackers to get into the camera networks, but I knew what type of gentleman you thought yourself to be would only let you put them in the common areas- nothing to creepy or stalkery. But then I spent a while watching, learning routines- I must say Christmas sure was sweet, Frankie Boy.”

   “Where you goin with this Bill?” His patience was thinning, Frank needed to know what he was walking into.

  “Where am I going with this? I want you to watch, Frank.”  Billy walked towards the computers and started to turn them on before logging in.

 Franks brow furrowed in confusion. “Watch?”

Then the apartment popped up, empty and familiar- and oh so terrifying. 

  “I'm gonna let you watch me go get them- you're gonna be here and watch me being them to you….” It was silent for a while, neither of them speaking. 

   Billy silently laughing.

A deafening silence. 

   Frank silently fuming.

A silence that spoke volumes.

  Frank yanked and pulled at his restraints, “You don't fucking touch them! I don't give a shit if you want to threaten them to get to me- don't touch them! Please….”

    His old friend laughed, the smile stretching his new scars horrifyingly- “That's what I thought I might do- threaten them. But then I thought better, I don't want to just kill you Frank- I want you to suffer. I want you to know it was your fault I found them, your fault they're dead.” Everything was coming back.

  This whole nightmare was killing him- everything flashed before his eyes. Everything he'd been through- he was so panicked he didn't even notice Billy leave the room. It wasn't until he noticed the light in Karen's apartment grow darker that he noticed it had been a while since Billy left. 

  That's when he saw him- the scumbag….. 

Sneaking through the window in the kitchen Billy looked up at the hidden camera and sent him a kiss. And Frank wanted to murder him. Bill walked off camera and Frank could only assume to hide in wait for his girls to come home. 

 The only thing he could hope for was Duck- he prayed that the dog would sniff out the shit and send him packing. 

  His nightmare was starting- he could hear the keys turning. It was about to start…..

_ Can you hold the mail for a sec, Soph? _

  The little girl on the screen nodded her head while Karen locked the door- what she didn't know was the danger wasn't out there. It was already inside. 

_ I miss Duck. _

Yeah, where the hell was he?

_ I know I miss him too, but he really needed to go to the groomers sweetie. He was starting to smell- besides think of it like a dog spa. He's going to get pampered then we’ll go pick him up when he's nice and fresh.  _

 Sophie handed the mail back to Karen while they walked into the kitchen.  _ I guess. _

Karen took out a letter opener and ripped open the big manila envelope before letting out a squeal.  _   Yesssss, Soph! Go grab the menus and pick out what you want, when Frank gets home tonight we are going to celebrate!  _

 Too bad she didn't know Frank wouldn't be home tonight- wouldn't be there to celebrate whatever it was she was excited about. 

_ What are we celebrating? _

Karen walked over on the little screen and kissed her on the head before walking out of frame.

_ It's a surprise, silly! Let me get changed and we’ll decide what to order. _

NO! Don't leave her alone! God dammit- that's when Bill popped up out of nowhere and slip a cloth over Sophs mouth- what he could only assume was chloroform. 

  “NO!! Jesus Christ let me out!” It was useless- pointless but he couldn't help but let out a scream of frustration. 

  He watched as Bill put her down near the kitchen island and hid yet again, waiting for Karen to come out of her bedroom. And he prayed Karen would know something was wrong. And would grab her gun.

  She walked out of the bedroom in her pajama pants and one of his t-shirts he had left behind, and it hurt his heart. 

_ So Soph I was thinking we could go with… Soph? _

Please grab something to defend yourself with, it was all he could hope for.

_ Soph?  _ He saw her look at the kitchen and see the little girls feet sticking out from behind the island. Karen ran over to her- that's when he saw Billy move. He was creeping up behind Karen, and the tiny screen made his heart almost burst from his chest when Karen turned around and fought back. 

  They were all over the room, things flying- lamps being pushed over as Karen tried to run to her purse. 

_  I know what you got in that purse Karen- you ain't getting over there. _

Billy pulled her to the ground and Karen fought back- pulling, kicking, screaming. But she couldn't do anything when Billy grabbed the lamp that had fallen over and smashed it over her head. 

  Frank was fuming with anger and fear- especially when Billy picked her up ad flung her over his shoulder. It wouldn't have been so worrying if Billy hadn't turned towards the camera and smirked, before taking her into the bedroom. Where there were no cameras.

 He had no idea what he was doing.

To Karen. 

 In a room where he couldn't see.

To an unconscious Karen.  

  Frank almost dislocated both his shoulders from jumping out of the chair when he saw Billy come out of the room, with Karen over his shoulders. In a different outfit. 

   She wasn't in the pajama pants.

He had changed her.

  Into a nightie.

He had seen her naked.

 Into lingerie. 

Frank wanted to kill him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's back!!! What did you think? I really hope you like it!!! Please tell me what you did or didn't like- it helps me with what to do next!!
> 
> TO BE CONTINUED.......


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get real dark in this chapter- so if you cant deal, skip the final half of this chapter and probably the next one as well. I hope this isn't too dark for my readers- as you all know I want a happy ending for Kastle, so don't lose hope!!  
>  Let me know any problems you might have or anything you have to say- i love and appreciate hearing from you guys!

 It felt like an eternity, waiting for Billy to bring them here. He knew that was the endgame- to sit them in front of Frank and make him beg Billy not to kill the girls. He also knew this was gonna be bad, haunting for himself but terrifying for Soph and Karen. 

 And he couldn’t do anything- just sit here and watch Billy take the girls out of the apartment one by one, and wait for the nightmare that was his life to continue. 

 “Honey, I’m home!!” Billy making light of the situation only had Frank seething, but at the same time he knew he had to restrain himself or Bill would punish the girls. And Frank could only pray that Billy wasn’t too far gone to actually hurt a kid- as fucked up as it sounded he knew Karen could take a beating. He also knew if Karen had to choose who would get that beating between herself and Soph- she would take it every time. Karen loved Sophie, and she would do anything to protect her. Just like Frank- he would do anything, take any type of torture, endure everything he had to throw at him if it meant he could protect his girls. 

 “You piece of shit- what’ve you done?” His shoulders burned and felt like he was close to pulling them from the sockets with all the pulling he was doing. 

 “What have I done? I brought them to you- I thought this would be more along the lines of what you’d want. Here with you- rather than in some secondary location where you can’t see with your own eyes how they are… Or am I wrong?” Billy wasn’t wrong, if they had been taken and brought anywhere else- somewhere he didn’t know, he might have died. 

 Billy let Karen fall to the ground in what sounded like a painful thud, before putting Soph in the chair beside Frank- putting zip ties around her little wrists in front of her. Frank almost burst a blood vessel- how could he do anything to that perfect little girl, how dare he put those zip ties anywhere near her small body. 

 Then he walked back over to Karen and picked her up and put her body over his shoulder. 

 “Ahhhhhhhh….” Frank yanked and pulled at his restraints- she wasn’t wearing any panties. He could only assume Billy had taken them off of her, and Frank seethed at the fact that he could have done something- violated her in some unknown way. 

  Billy grabbed a chair and put it a few feet in front of Frank before dropping her down onto it- he grabbed her arms and mirrored Frank’s position with her arms tied behind her back. 

  “Now we wait……”

Frank looked Karen over, her legs on display in that short silk nightie, a small trickle of blood from the lamp he had smashed over her head had dried in her hair- yet she looked peaceful. Like she was sleeping- completely unaware of the nightmare she would be waking up too. And he couldn’t help but blame himself. 

 “Wait? Wait for what?”

Billy pulled up a chair in front of the computers and answered him without glancing in Frank’s direction. “We wait for Karen to wake up- that’s when the real fun starts….” 

 “Why don't you just kill me already? It's what you were planning to do anyway.”

Billy started laughing with this crazy unsettling look in his eyes- the only part of him he recognized anymore were his unforgettably soulless eyes, “Kill you? I will admit that's all I thought about while I was in the hospital, the many ways I was going to pull the very soul out of you. Then after I got out I came to a realization….”

    Realization? 

What could he have come up with in that insane mind of his?

   “I don't want to kill you. I can't- kill you, I mean. Just as much as you can't kill me. I need you, just as much as you need me- Don't fool yourself into thinking you not killing me that day on the carousel was just some coincidence. You can't kill me, and I can't kill you- a vicious cycle.”

  What? 

“I really must have messed with your head, Bill. For christ's sake- if you think I ain't gonna kill you cause once upon a time we were friends, then you're delusional. I hate to burst your bubble- but that aint us anymore. You and me- we're not friends, and the first chance I get I'M gonna kill you.” 

 Billy shot up and got in his face, “That's it. We’re not friends- we’re not enemies. We’re- we’re brothers….”

 “Brothers? You think were brothers? Yeah, you were my brother-but you lost that privilege a long time ago. What kind of brother would have done the things you have to me? Huh? None that I know of.” 

 It was ridiculous what Billy was saying- he was talking about things like he really believed them- and that's what scared Frank the most, this was the definition of batshit. 

  “The kind of brother people like you and me need- you think you ever would have gotten to the place you're at today if it weren't for me? You should be thanking me! The whole goddamn city of New York should be thanking me!”

  “Thanking you? Jesus Christ, Bill- what have you ever done for me? For this city?”

“The big bad punisher that keeps the scumbags of this city off the streets- I created that! I've given you purpose- If it weren't for me this city would have been stuck with people like the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, whose too chicken shit to take a life! No! You keep the criminals off the streets- they're gone! And I made that happen- you never would have been shit if it weren't for me!”

  He's insane- this wasn't the man he knew in Kandahar. And maybe he never knew the real Billy Russo- but this couldn't be it- this couldn't be the real man hidden behind that pretty face.

 “And you don't think you're a criminal- not one of those scumbags?”

     Billy stood up and moved behind Karen- making Frank nervous for what he might do to her, “I am a necessary evil, Frank. You might not think so- but we are a package. There is no one without the other…. You're the peanut butter, I'm the jelly. You're the spaghetti, I'm the meatballs. You're the machine, I'm the operator. You're the AK, I'm the triggerfinger. There is no you- without me.”

  “You're crazy- shit I thought I was insane, but you make me look like the picture of mental health.”

  “Soon you'll realize, just like me- And frankly I'm disappointed….. You don't think I noticed how after you got involved with Karen Page and this Sophie girl, you've had less and less outings as the punisher? What I'm doing right now is necessary- it's destiny. You'll see that. Once theyre gone you'll know what I am…”

  Gone? He couldn't let either of his girls be gone, “And what are you?”

“Motivation and I-” Billy was ready to keep talking, continue on this insane tirade when they heard it. The groan of someone in pain- she was waking up. God dammit! Karen was in for a world of hurt at the hands of a person who thought this was his destiny? Jesus Christ….

  “Look she's waking up!! Wakey, wakey…..”

Her big blue eyes slowly opened- slowly like a person who might have a concussion. And in all his time he saw the signs, he knew it was all coming back to her. She was panicking, pulling at her restraints, looking at the new outfit she was wearing, realizing it wasn't herself who put her in it- 

 “Shhh Karen, c’mon look at me- it's gonna be okay….” Her eyes shot up to his and the tears that brimmed her eyes broke his heart- he got her here, this was on him. Then her eyes flickered over to Sophie, and the tears she had been trying to hold back fell as a frustrated shout came flying out of her. 

  “I'm sorry Karen, i'm so sorry….” 

That's when her eyes left his and moved to the psycho who stood beside her-  the gasp that flew out of her mouth was an understatement for the horrifying sight of Billy Russo’s face. 

 “Hey Karen, good to see you again….” Her brow furrowed in obvious confusion- if she had seen this face before she would have remembered, it's not an easy sight to forget. But the voice, the voice was familiar. 

  “You don't remember me? We only met once but I will admit I looked quite a bit different before. It's me, Billy.” The name didn't trigger anything- but a small part of her brain had an idea- 

 “Russo. Billy Russo- Has Frank never mentioned me? I must say i'm disappointed, I hold a special place in Frank's life…” She remembered the day- Mr Russo, the one who was protecting the Senator. Frank had mentioned him before, the things he had done- the evil things. But she never imagined this would happen, that he would come back. 

 “Don't say anything Karen, it's what he wants.” She figured Frank knew better- knew what he wanted. She could only guess this wasn't going to go well. But if anyone could fix this- it would be Frank. 

  Billy circled her and put his hands on her shoulders in a way that made her shiver, “I must say when I found out about you two- I was surprised. She looks nothing like Maria…” 

 Both Frank and Karen bristled at the mention of Franks previous wife, Frank in anger, and Karen with worry at being compared to a dead person- worried he was insinuating that was what she would soon be. Dead.

  “But… I'm not gonna lie, I took a peek when I was changing you-” Her heartrate picked up in both anger and fear, “And Frank I gotta say, you made a fine choice.”

 He looked at the angry face of Frank Castle, “Shes beautiful,” Billy turned his head to look down the front of Karen’s dress, “Youre beautiful. No need to be ashamed, sweetheart. Aww c’mon that was a compliment- you're not gonna say thank you? That's rude-”

 Fed up- Karen shot her head back and got him straight in the nose, blood rushed out with the force of her head. 

  And he laughed. Not the desired effect she was going for, Billy moved in front of her to look her straight in the eyes- then backhanded her across the face. 

  “Bitch…” She tasted the blood before she realized her lip had split, 

And before she could help herself, she spit the blood back at him- “Fuck you!”

 Franks heart was bursting with pride- happy she wasn't cowering, but fighting back. No matter how pointless it might be right now. 

    “Oooh I can see why you like her Frankie- she's got spirit! I gotta admit- I'm hard as hell...” 

Disgusted she shook her head, “What do you want?” 

 “What do I want? A lot of things… but probably most of all I want to see Frank suffer- that's why you're here, Karen.”  Frank knew it was true- he was the reason his girls were here. He was the reason this psycho was gonna do these terrible things, thinking back to that day he wished- god did he wish he had killed him. But he couldn't change it now- and now he was living with the consequences of that decision. And Frank would have been fine paying for that mistake, if it didn't involve Karen or Soph- this was his punishment for caring, for thinking it was okay to be happy. 

  Billy pulled out the glock that he had behind his back, pulling it out from his jeans he took it out and waved it, making both Karen and Frank nervous. Frank because he knew the man behind the gun was completely insane- and Karen because she knew the power of the weapon in his hands- and the power it held over her when pointed at the two people sitting in front of her. 

 “I want a lot of things-” He moved behind her yet again, and she knew- she knew what he was gonna say, what he was suggesting, ”And I think with the right…. Motivation we could come up with a little something.” 

 The gun pointed at Frank who fumed at the suggestive tone in Billy’s voice, before landing on Sophie- and Karen’s lip started to tremble. He put the gun back in his pants- the threat already being said was enough to keep her from fighting, and his hands returned to the tops of her shoulders. 

  Rubbing them. 

Her eyes closed.

  Stroking up and down.

This was only heading one way. 

  “It might surprise you but not a lot of ladies are linin’ up to fuck me now. In case you havent noticed Frank- you turned my face into a fucking Pablo Picasso painting.”

   His hands slid lower. 

Frank shook. 

   Under the her top.

Karen whimpered.

    He was touching her.

“Ahhhhhh…” Frank screamed.

    Groping her.

Frank was pulling against his ties- almost ripping his shoulders out of the sockets. 

 “Ah ah ah ah… Don't try anything Frank- think of little Soph.”

Karen took a deep breath, knowing if she didn't stop him Frank would explode, “Don't Frank…”

  His eyebrows furrowed in confusion at Karens words.

“I can take it. Frank, I can take it.” Frank was almost crying- she shouldn't have to take it.

  “She says she can take it, Frank. I mean personally I'm hoping she can- but that's not the real question now is it? The real question is can you?”

  That was the real question, because Frank wasn't sure he could. 

“Can you take it?” Billy was looking him straight in the eye. But Karen shook her head, telling him not to put Soph in danger. And the logical part of himself told him to suck it up, but his emotions were running rampant. 

  “It's funny how after everything, I'm still able to make it to second base before you are- eh, Frank? Besides I think Karen and I are gonna need a little alone time to negotiate certain things, right Karen?” At this point tears were trailing down her cheeks- knowing this would end badly for her. But Karen knew she would do anything to protect the ones she loved- and that's what they were. The two people in front of her were her whole life. 

  Pathetic, but true. 

“And don't worry, Frank. I know how you are about wanting to watch- to make sure she's safe. So I do have a camera in there- for my benefit of course…. And I was thinking of making you watch it as well- but I've come up with something even better….” 

  Frank wanted to do every horrible thing possible- kill, torture, burn, rip limb from limb- but here he was… Helpless. 

  “You're not gonna watch- you're gonna listen. It's gonna be loud and impossible to tune out. You're gonna hear every thrust- every cry… Everything.” Karen was struggling at this point- the grip he had on her breasts extremely painful. A small preview on what was to come. 

  “Stop moving! You're gettin’ me get excited!” 

Karen pulled at him and struggled against his hold and Frank did the same- neither of them ready to accept their fate. 

  That's when she heard it- a small little moan her ears were so accustomed too. A voice she would always protect. And all she could think of was her waking up while Karen was with Billy, and the speakers were turned up. Soph would hear her cries and the little girl would be so confused at being tied up. 

  She couldn't let that happen. 

“Ahhh looks like the little lady is waking up from the chloroform nap, I was-” 

   “You piece of garbage of you touch either of them I will-”

 Karen was bawling at this point, angry loud tears that she couldn't hold back- that stopped both Frank and Billy from saying anything further.

  “Stop! Stop…. Billy I- if you put her back to sleep… make her not see or hear this-” She looked over at Frank, knowing he wouldn't approve of her giving herself up.

  “If you make sure she doesn't know about this, I wo- I won't fight you….”

Billy smiled in a way that would haunt her dreams for the rest of her life- however short that life might be, and he nodded. “I can make that happen- if you promise to play nice.”

  She nodded her head and Frank screamed- 

“Ahhhhhh… NO! NO! Don't do this… Please Bill- I'll do anything… I'll be whoever you want me to be, okay? Just don't- don't fucking do this!!” 

  Billy didn't respond only went into the bedroom and was in there turning on what could only be the audio for Frank to listen to, and came out with the bottle and cloth form before- wetting it and putting Soph back to sleep. 

  And it was the only consolation Karen could think of- if they were both gonna die tonight, at least Sophie could have some semblance of peace.

  “Alright let’s go…” Billy got pliers out and snipped the zip ties from around her wrists- a temporary relief from the burning pain in her shoulders that would be nothing compared to what was bound to happen in the room he was leading her into. 

  “Oh and Frank I have a giant group of men outside all working for me that will come in here and shoot the little girl if you try anything- so don't…” He had no way of knowing if it was true or not, but he wouldn't take the risk- for Sophie's sake. Karen shook her head at Frank who had tears running down his face- angry and yelling.

   “No, no, no, no, no…..” Frank was frantic- and it broke her heart seeing him like this. 

 She whispered knowing he would hear it, “I can take it.”

 

  The door closed. 

Karen was alone. 

  With him.

Alone with a monster. 

  Frank was alone.

And helpless.

 And Karen was behind that door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhhhh!!! BILLY  
>  I hope this isn't too dark for my readers- as you all know I want a happy ending for Kastle, so don't lose hope!!  
>  Let me know any problems you might have or anything you have to say- i love and appreciate hearing from you guys!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to say a big thank you to those of you who commented- these last few chapters were ones I wasn't sure how they would be received (including this one)  
> Thanks so much for the love!!   
> I hope you guys stay with me- please comment I love hearing from you!!!

   He guessed it would have been different. Should've known better. 

Frank had seen some shit in his days- caught enough rapists with their pants around their ankles before ending their miserable lives, to at least think he knew what it was gonna be like. 

    But he should have known better. 

She’s different. 

    Should've known this time would be different- different when it was Karen. 

She wouldn't let Billy win. 

    Not his Karen. 

She was strong. 

    NO- 

She is strong. 

    Strong on the inside and out. 

He wasn't so sure he was strong. 

    Not on the outside. Not on the inside.

Here he was, stuck in this chair- unable to do anything to stop it… 

    He wasn't strong enough to break free. 

Here he was, stuck in this chair- bawling his eyes dry, crying out for Karen. 

    He wasn't strong enough to hold himself together for her. 

He could hear it- but it was him who was breaking down. 

    Not his Karen.

She was stuck in there with that monster.

    And she was sticking it to him- to Bill.

That's what was getting him- Frank thought he would hear her screams, her cries, her tears. But instead she was silent. 

   And the silence scared him.

Only the occasional whimper could be heard over the speakers.

   And him. 

Billy Fucking Russo.

   He could hear him- his grunts.

The terrifying sound of skin slapping skin. 

  His groans.

Jesus…..

  “Karen!!!” Frank cried out for her.

“Billy! You bastard- I'll kill ya! You're done, ya hear me….. Karen! C’mon…” 

  More grunts. A whimper. More groans. 

_ Shit yeah…… Ugh- That was good- _

  Thank god it was over- the only shred of sanity he could hold onto… At least it was over.

_ Sorry it was so short, sweetheart. It's been a while… _

   That bastard! He’s talking to her like this was some normal thing- like he hadn't just kidnapped and raped her. 

_ What you're not gonna say anything? Nah we had a deal Karen Page- I keep little Sophie from having to know what's happening and you… You play nice. _

  He knew he was listening- that's the only reason Billy was doing this… To play with him.

_ Th- thank you.  _

  My god- she sounded awful, her voice hoarse and filled with pain. It tore his heart out.

_ There she is…. I gotta say talk after sex is almost the best part- the only thing that separates us from the animals.  _

 You're the animal. Frank burned from the inside out- wanting to know how Karen was, but knowing if he saw her right now he would probably have an aneurysm.

_ So true…. _

He hated hearing her like this- but that sad voice was the only thing that let him know that despite everything she'd been through, she was still breathing. 

_ Ah ah ah ah- now that didn't sound very genuine Karen. If you'd rather me go out there and shoot the little tyke, that can be arranged.  _

__  NO!

_ No! I'm sorry… _

 God, don't apologize after everything he's done.

_ Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll stay in here with you- besides i'm almost ready for round two…. _

  Round two?

_ Don't look so surprised, you didn't think that quickie was gonna be it, did you? What about you Frank? You ready for round two yet? _

__   She whimpered, but the question was rhetorical for both Frank and Karen. 

“Ahhhhhhh- BILL! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!”

   Frank wasn't sure if Billy could hear him, but he must have at least slightly because all he heard was a chuckle from the man before the sound of Billy groaning could be heard- which could only mean the start of round two.

  Grunts.

Whimper.

  Groans.

_ That's pretty, what is it? _

  What the hell is he talking about?

_ A gift. _

__  A gift? What gift?

_ Yeah? Ungg…. From who? _

  The Fuckhead! The talking was killing him- it was one thing to hear it happening, another to hear him chat her up like they were at brunch.

_ Fr- It's from Frank…. _

A gift? He gave her a gift, what gift?

_ Now ain't that sweet- oh yeah….. _

The necklace! She had the necklace on? God he could only hope she remembered how to activate the panic button. 

  Grunt.

Whimpers.

  Groan.

The sound of something breaking.

_ What? You gonna take it off? _

Take it off? Take what off?

_ Yeah- i'm taking it off. _

Karen was taking something off? Not the necklace right? At this point it was the only thing that could save them. 

_ Can I ask why? Shit that's good….. _

Don't take it off. 

_ Because…. _

God dammit!

   Grunts.

Bastard.

   Groans. 

_ I'm gonna-  _

   Fucking BASTARD!!

_ Because…. _

__  Please Karen!

_ I'm coming….. _

__ “KAREN!!”

_ Because he can't save me from you- _

  Jesus…..

                                       _________________________________

  
  
  


 David had been sitting on the couch watching early morning cartoons with the family when his phone buzzed, and a notification popped up that he thought he might never see. A notification that he had assured Frank would never be necessary, when Frank came in the house with the two simple pieces of jewelry he planned on gifting Sophie and Karen- he thought it ridiculous what Frank wanted him to do. 

  He had asked David to place tracking devices in both, but a special panic button on Karen’s necklace- just like the cameras it took a while before David gave in. But eventually he did- if this is what it took to keep his friend sane and as close to happy as possible, then he would do it. 

  David stood up and headed towards his office, leaving in the middle of a conversation.

“David? Where are you going?” Sarah interrupted him, and tried to grab his arm. 

  But he had to keep going, had to find out if this was real- “Dad?”

He had to know if this was just a panic button that meant Karen lost Sophie and needed him to find her, or if something had really gone wrong. After all his assurances to Frank, he owed it to him to follow the plan. 

   Walking through the door to his office, he started on the basics- tracking their current location. Call Frank. Then move on to the cameras in their apartment- after that try to find as many cameras near their location and try to find those responsible, if that applies. Call Frank again- if he doesn't answer, things would get sticky. 

   So he did what he was supposed to do- he called Frank…. 

Once. 

  He didn't answer. 

“It's me- the button from the special package has been activated. If you don't call me back- I will find them, find red.” David prayed his friend would call him back- but he couldn't just wait for that to happen. 

 He had a responsibility, after everything Frank had done for David's family- he owed it to Frank to get to the bottom of this. 

  “David?” The door of his office made the type of sound you only hear in the horror movies- a scrape of wood on wood that set his nerves on edge. 

  “Not now Sarah, I have to do something…”

Sarah obviously didn't like when David got like this- cold, concentrated, didn't like when he turned into Micro. “No, you don't get to just brush me off- you just walked out on the kids and I with no explanation, now what's going on?”

  David thought of the precious time being wasted with this conversation, but knew in the long run dealing with this now would stop her from pushing and pushing if he didn't tell her, so his fingers stopped typing and he swiveled his chair towards her. 

 “Somethings wrong- with Frank and the girls. I owe it to Frank to fix this and I will explain everything once I know what I'm doing but this is life and death, okay Sarah? Can I get back to it now?” David didn't wait for her to respond and turned back to the computers that were calling him back. 

  “Wrong? With Karen and Soph? And Frank….”

The cameras in Karen's apartment turned on and he saw the mess there, saw the little bit of blood on the floor near the smashed lamp. Saw what looked like a struggle- he was about to rewind when he felt Sarah’s gaze on the screen.

  “You should go- I have a lot to do and I'm not sure you'll want to see this,” David hadn't turned to look at her this time just kept working.

  “Fuck you if you think I'm not strong enough to handle this- that's bullshit and you know it!” Sarah fumed at his back.

  “It has nothing to do with whether I think you can handle it or not- this is obviously serious and I don't have time to deal answering your questions and figuring this out- I work better alone, okay?” David looked over his shoulder at his angry wife who took a minute but eventually nodded her head and closed the door behind her- and he immediately rewinded back to when the girls got home. 

  What he saw was disturbing- and he thanked god Frank didn't have access to see this, or he would have had a heart attack seeing what could only be Billy Russo smashing the lamp over his lady’s head. 

   So he called again, and accessed cameras across the street from the apartment building and watched him put both girls in a van. Franks voicemail came through as he followed the van back to the location the two tracking devices were homing from. The only consolation being they were still in the same place Billy originally brought them. 

  “I'm gonna find red, I promise.” He wasn't sure if Frank would get the messages- if he even knew Karen was taken, but David would fix this. 

 He ran downstairs grabbed his coat and his keys, when Sarah stopped him. 

“Where are you going?” David looked at her for what felt like an eternity, but was most likely only a minute- hoping he could explain without words what this meant to him.

  “After everything Frank did for us, I have to do this. I have to….”

Her eyes closed and she nodded moving out of his way, a silent ‘okay’ that he was thankful she gave, “But- be safe, okay?”

David leaned in and kissed her forehead, promising he would- then left the house. To find the former Devil of Hell's Kitchen- the one everybody thought was dead. He activated the app on his phone and started driving, knowing this might be a hard sell. 

 He remembered his conversation with Frank; 

“How will I get him to come with me?”

   Frank looked over at him on the couch before answering, “If it's a real emergency he’ll know- you can't lie to him, he always knows. And I'm not sure he’ll come for me, but he will for her. Red will come for Karen, if you tell him shes in trouble. I hope to god that never happened- but he will come.”

  Thinking back on how he laughed at how crazy it seemed to be prepared for this, left a terrible taste in his mouth- and made him wonder if he should come up with some sort of doomsday protocol as well. 

  David was thirty minutes outside of Brooklyn, he parked his car outside this seedy looking bar- and had serious doubts this would be the place he would find Matthew Murdoch. But this is where it said he would be- all their research said this gross bar at nine in the morning would be the place he was at. Which was funny considering what he had googled about the man Frank called, ‘Alter Boy’- but drinking this early in the morning or more likely still drunk from the night before- screamed someone who had problems.

   He knew exactly which man he was looking for once he stepped into the place- instead of being the drunk he assumed the man to be- there he was. A blind bartender, who was in the middle of cleaning glasses when David walked in, but stopped when he felt David's stare on his back.

  “Can I help you?” Matt asked the man who stood at the front of the bar, before rushing over towards Matt that had him almost leaping backwards. “Matt? Matt Murdoch right?”

 The name sent a small flicker of fear through his spine, before he whipped his head back and forth in denial- “No. I'm sorry you must be mistaken- you've got the wrong man.”

 “I don't think I do- Somethings wrong….” David pleaded this Matt character would understand and come with him. 

  “I don't do that anymore. You should leave-” Matt was about to send him on his way, willing or not- when David cut him off. 

  “It's Karen! She’s been taken by some psycho, and normally I'd say Frank could fix this- but I think he's been taken too.” Matt stared at him in an unnerving way- David knew he was unable to physically see him, but he did know from Frank that he could see through him. And he prayed that whatever he could see would be enough to save Frank and the girls. 

  Time was ticking by as this Matt character looked through his very soul- before walking away and coming back with what looked like a small batton. 

   “Lets go.” 

 

                  ________________________________________________________

  
  
  


   Grunts.

Bastard.

   Groans. 

_ I'm gonna-  _

   Fucking BASTARD!!

_ Because…. _

__  Please Karen!

_ I'm coming….. _

__ “KAREN!!”

_ Because he can't save me from you- _

  Jesus…..

She was right- he couldn't save her, she should hate him. This was his fault. 

_ Unggghhh yeah that was amazing…. _

He hated himself, she should hate him- Frank couldn't blame her.

_ Only I can do that…. _

What?

  What's that sound? A soft gurgle- a sound he couldn't describe happening, once… twice…. three times over- then silence. Silence that went on for a long time- an eternity. 

  “Karen?”

Silence met his ears and all he could see and feel were the memories of his family dying- and here he was again. In yet another situation where it was his fault. 

   Silent.

“Karen!!”

   Frank couldn't hear anything besides the soft breathing of the little girl beside him, and it scared him. He was afraid. 

 “KAREN!!”

Nothing still.

  How could he go on- what was he gonna do? What would happen to Soph? He couldn't legally take her, but he wouldn't leave her behind. That is if Billy doesn't kill Sophie before he goes. Frank knew in some crazy way that Billy wouldn't kill him- in some fucked up way, he thought him and Frank had some sort of destiny together. If both him and Soph survived this he would take her far away- live in some cabin in the middle of nowhere and protect her till his dying breath. Like he couldn't do with Karen. 

  He didn't know how long it had been since he was put in this chair- there were no windows in this Studio, but he knew it had to have been long. At least fifteen hours at the least. 

  “Karen!”

His eyes were getting heavy- his body was growing tired.

  “Karen….”

His voice was hoarse, he needed water. 

  “Kare-” 

He was done.

 

The shock of the door busting open was what woke him, what scared him awake. At first his blurry eyes only processed Billy, but then he realized this man was shorter- different. 

  Red.

He had never been so happy to see the pajama wearing fool.

 “Karen…. Get Kare-” The man in front of him nodded before moving around the room, looking for her- when he found the door. She was behind there.

 “Kare….” Frank needed water, he was afraid he might pass out soon.

That's when he heard it- everything wrong with him was forgotten when he heard the door open. When he heard the sound of Red’s voice dripping in horror.

  “Oh my god…” Frank watched as the man made the sign of the cross before walking into the room, and it was in that moment Frank thought he had never been so desperate. He needed to know what happened.

  “Karen!!!” 

It was the last thing he said before passing out- the last thought he had before the black took over and all he saw were the hauntingly beautiful blue eyes from his dreams before there was nothing.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?? Shoot me a comment, I'd love to hear from you!!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it!! Tell me what you think!! Thanks for all those who commented on the last few chapters, I love hearing from you- no matter what!!

“Oh my god…” Frank watched as the man made the sign of the cross before walking into the room, and it was in that moment Frank thought he had never been so desperate. He needed to know what happened.

 “Karen!!!”

It was the last thing he said before passing out- the last thought he had before the black took over and all he saw were the hauntingly beautiful blue eyes from his dreams before there was nothing.  

                    ____________________________________________

 

  “Hey- Frank, c’mon….” The voice was familiar, and yet sounded so strange- like the voice was coming from deep underwater.

 Frank’s arms burned, the tingles you feel after your foot falls asleep- but instead from your shoulder blades all the way through to his fingertips. He couldn't tell you how his hands had landed in his lap, but here they were- it was strange because he could see them and yet felt like he had no control over how to move them on his own. Frank felt like a machine that had been used and abused over and over, up to the point where his wires crossed and a few came undone- the wire that connected his brain to ihs arms was suddenly disconnected.

  “You up, Frank?”

David?

  What the fuck is he doing here?

“Da-” Frank tried his hardest to get the name out, but he couldn't. His throat was so dry and his lips so cracked, he thought he must have been left here for days before they found him. 

  And like he could read his thoughts a hand holding a bottle of water appeared in front of his eyes- greedily he moved his hands toward it. His fingers wrapped themselves around the bottle- and it was there one minute gone the next. 

  Fuck.

He couldn't even get his fingers to hold the bottle- God dammit what was wrong with him? Frank wasn't sure but the curse must have left his lips because the moment it left his hands David moved to catch it. 

 It didn't work- unfortunately Micro didn't have the same reflexes the Devil of Hell's Kitchen might have.

 “It's okay, here let me help you…” Frank tried to push the hand away- not wanting the help despite knowing he needed it. But after awhile Frank couldn't find the energy to fight his friends gift of water, so he gave in. 

 Jesus- it was beautiful. Wonderful water poured down his throat and he didn't stop until he finished at least two full bottles worth. Then came the power bars- nd by the time he had finished off all the food David offered him, his fingers were starting to work again.

  His brain was starting to work again.

Frank was remembering where he was.

  Remembering what had happened.

Shit.

“Karen? Wheres Karen?” He was frantic    The only thing he could remember was seeing the idiotic ‘superhero’ walking into  _ that _ room and making the sign of the cross. That could only mean one thing to a man like that, right?

   “She’s-” Oh my god, his Karen was gone.

“Jesus, she's dead!”  What was he gonna do without her? What about Soph?

   He was gonna have to take little Soph, he couldn't let her go back into the foster care system…. Frank wasn't about to let that happen. She had already lost one mother- who wasn't worth a damn, and now the little girl would have to lose another. But this time the only difference was that this mother- Karen was worth a shit. She was worth every shit. And as much as he knew he needed Karen- it was obvious that Soph needed her too.

  “N-” Frank cut him off- knowing he was about to confirm she was lying dead in the other room. He knew David was about to say it- but Frank couldn't bear to hear it. God- what did he do to deserve this? Everyone he loved was taken from him- in the most brutal sense of the word. 

   “God… What the fuck am I gonna do without her? What am I-”

“Would you shut up for a minute, Frank?” How could David talk to him like that- after everything he's been through, his supposed friend was gonna yell at him and treat him like shit. Good- he deserved it. Frank deserved every ring of hell for dragging two women to their deaths with the shit he was involved in.

 “She’s not dead! You asshole, if you'd just listen- Karen is in there….” David jumped up and yelled in his face- frustrated at the man beating himself up from the inside out.

  “What?!”

David walked behind Frank to get something Frank couldn't see, “She’s not dead.”

  Frank didn't have to hear another word- he shot up to go see her. 

 And forgot that he hadn't moved for almost two days- which meant his legs were weak for the moment. A terrible moment that he tried to ignore, Frank would ignore it all for her. For Karen- he would crawl over burning hot glass if it meant he could see her, hold her, be with her. 

 David ran towards him to put his arm over his shoulder- and as humiliating as it was to need the help, he would take it if it meant seeing her. 

  They were walking towards the room where it had all gone down- when he heard her voice. Her beautiful voice. Her beautifully loud voice. Her beautifully loud, angry voice. 

  Angry? 

She had every right to be angry- but it was the other voice that confused him. 

  Red’s voice…

She was angry with Red?

  “We’re not calling the fucking police!” God damn right they weren’t calling the police. 

 “Why not? I mean look at you, Karen? Look at what he’s done…”

The walk to the bedroom was only a few feet  but it felt like miles. 

 “I don't need to fucking look, Matt! I was there when it god damn happened!!” He was gonna kill Red- who did he think he was talking too? No one talked to Karen like that!

  That's when he walked in the bedroom- 

   She was covered in blood- gone girl type shit…. 

Head to toe, all over her face- and beautiful. And alive. Mercifully alive….

  She hadn't noticed him in the doorway and was still in the process of telling Red off, “What do you thinks gonna happen, huh? We call the police then tell them my daughter and I were kidnapped by someone who’s supposed to be in custody- then after that lie about how Frank wasn't here! Cause news flash, he's supposed to be fucking dead! Then I'll tell them about how I killed him after he raped me- is that what you want me to do?” 

  “Well- yeah..”

“Fuck off, are you kidding me? What do you think happens after we get this reported? You think I'm gonna be given any kind of justice? No- You know that, Matt! There's nothing they can do, except make things worse.” 

 Red was getting closer and closer to the bed- both of them getting more and more heated as the conversation continued, “How could  _ this _ get any worse? He's dead! ‘They’ as you put it- can't do anything to make this worse!”

  “They can't? Bullshit they can't! They will take Sophie- they'll think I can't protect her, or- or say I need a psych eval or something! I won't let them take her from her home, Matt!” 

 “Maybe you need one…” Karen’s face screwed up in this angry-betrayed-hurt face, and what unnerved him was the change from loud and angry, to calm and deadly.

   “Need what, Murdoch?” 

“Karen, may- maybe you do need an evaluation. Or at least a therapist- to talk about what just happened.”

  The fire in Karen’s eyes was turning to ice, and Frank knew he had to step in, “I don't think I need you, telling me w-”

  “Alright, alright- Red get out…. Go check on Soph with David- she should be waking up soon.” Murdoch turned around at the sound of his voice, though he must have known he was there the entire conversation. 

  It took awhile but finally, both David and Matt left the room- leaving just Frank and Karen.

  “Frank….”

That's all she needed to say- he rushed her. Frank didn't care that she was covered in blood- the blood of a former friend. He didn't care that Billy’s dead body was lying crumpled and in a puddle of his own blood in the corner- all he cared about was her.

“Karen-” His voice broke in a pathetic way- in a way that guaranteed he was about to cry. And what was she doing- soothing him. Telling him it was gonna be alright- when it should be him doing it for her. 

 They didn't have to say any words- right now being in each others arms was enough. They knew in the future it wouldn't be- they would need to talk about it, but for now all they did was love each other.

  “Go home, Karen. I'll take care of this…” Her beautiful blue eyes looked up at him in confusion. 

 “By yourself?” She was obviously deflecting- trying to think about anything other than what happened. It might not be the healthiest thing- but Frank wasn't going to bust her bubble a few hours after. They had plenty of time to talk it over. 

  “I know some people- who do this kind of thing. It'll be over in no time and i'll be home before you know it.”

  She didn't talk for a while, and Frank was worried he had somehow put Karen in a sort of trauma coma- from the mere suggestion that this wasn't some crazy thing that never happened. But that there were people who made their living off of cleaning up situations like this. 

  “O-okay let- let me just get Sophie and I'll bring her home. I'll-” Karen stood up and he saw red- not just the blood from Billy’s body, but the bruises from Billy’s hands. 

 “I uh- actually think you should leave her here. With me.”

“Why wouldn't I take her home?”

  Frank looked her up and down, knowing Sophie would freak if she ever saw this amount of blood on her Karen, “I think you should go home- maybe i’ll call Curtis. He's a doc, then you can take a shower- I'll bring Soph home, I don't think Soph should see you like this. Shell freak thinkin your hurt.”

 She was hurt. Not something either of them could forget- but something they could push under the rug until Karen was ready. 

 “Oh-okay… I actually think I'm gonna call this nurse friend of Matts- he told me about her and how she’s discreet- no offense but I don't think I want one of your friends checking me over. Especially since he was Billy's friend too- Just too weird I think….” 

 Frank nodded at her and moved to kiss her forehead, but before he could get there she was out of the room- and he knew. God he knew- this was the beginning of the end. He wouldn't be able to fix anything and then Karen would leave him because she would realize everything that happened here today was his fault. Then he wouldn't get to see Sophie anymore- and she would grow to hate him, because she would wonder why Frank was never around anymore. 

 He could see it now- the end of all things good. 


	31. Chapter 31

  Karen sat in her bed with the door shut, knowing Matt and Claire were out there talking about her. Frank had stayed behind, and in the moment she had agreed to it- but now, she regretted it. She wanted him here- wanted Soph here. Instead she had Matt. 

 Matt. Who she had thought herself in love with not so long ago- now knowing how truly stupid she had been. Matt hadn't been the one for her. He never was- and she spent more than enough time listening to him undermine her and try to tell her what her thoughts should be. 

  Karen wasn't letting that happen anymore. 

They had gotten back to her apartment- she wearing David’s coat to cover the blood stained thing she wore underneath, with Matt close on her heels. 

 “Call her.” 

Matt looked at her in confusion- this being the first thing she said to him since kicking him out of the ‘Murder Room’. “Who?”

 “Claire. Your nurse friend-” 

Karen didn't even wait for a response, just headed straight for her room- “Technically she's not a nurse anymore…”

 She stopped dead in her tracks and didn't bother turning to look at him- “Don't give a shit. Just get her here.”

  So he did. He called Claire and told her to get over here- it was an emergency. She agreed and told him she was on the way- but when he came back in to tell Karen that Claire was coming, he didn't hear her. Only heard the sound of the shower running- and panicked.

   “No! Karen you can't shower! Everything on you is evidence- Karen?”

At first there was no response, so he jostled the door knob- “Shut up Matt- I'm not telling the police and neither are you! So nothing on me or in me is gonna be taken as evidence, got it?”

   Karen didn't know if he said anything back- once she stepped into the shower she couldn't concentrate on anything other than pain! It was everywhere- the pain… She couldn't have said which particular spot pain was coming from, and honestly didn't want to think about it either- but Matt’s voice drowned out as did everything else. Karen burned- cuts, bruises, rips… It was disorienting. And as good as the water felt, she had to get out or the pain combined with how little energy she had left would probably make her pass out.

 So instead she just sat on the toilet, naked- and tried her best not to think about what happened- what she had done…

 It wasn't for another thirty minutes until she heard the soft knock of what could only be Claire- that she was let go from the trap that was her memory. Claire asked her to come out- and as much as she didn't want to, Karen knew it was necessary. 

  “Should I put something on or….” Karen was unsure how to proceed- what was expected of her. 

 Claire's soft voice could be heard through the door- an obvious sign that she knew some of what had happened to her, “Why don't we just head to your bedroom and go from there?” 

 Karen silently agreed, opening the door and following the woman to her bedroom- she saw Matt sitting on the couch. Doing this in her bedroom was a show of privacy- but she knew with Matt here there would be no privacy, only the semblance of it with his ability to hear the truth.

 What she liked about Claire was her frankness- no bullshit apologies about what had been done to her. There was nothing Claire could do to change what had happened, only try and fix the damages- and she could respect that.

 “I have to recommend that going to the hospital would be the smarter thing to do….” Karen dropped her towel and sat on the bed. 

 “I won't be going to the hospital- I won't be reporting this, i'll not have it on record.” Claire nodded her head at her as she opened the bag she had brought along with her.

 “Many women refuse to report it everyday- afraid of what people might think..” Karen knew this was an unasked question- yet a question nonetheless.

“It has nothing to do with pride, Claire- I won't have my daughter taken from me because of the actions of some psycho- something I had no control over. Besides there's nothing the authorities can do with the man who did this- I already took care of him…” The woman nodded her head yet made no comment- only asking to see the more serious wounds. Not yet going below the waist- Claire started at the top. 

 She put medical glue on the cut on her head from the lamp, cleaned the split lip thoroughly- assessed the many bruises ligning up and down her arms and throat, looked at her wrists and shoulders- then felt her ribs for breaks. Her legs for scrapes and burns- but Karen knew it was time. She knew there was nowhere else to check.

  “I have to check, Karen….” She was no happier about it than Karen was- her tone of voice obvious. 

 “I know- God, I know. Ju- just hold on. I need a minute…. I mean what are you even looking for- I know what happened!” Karen was shaking, she had spent the whole afternoon trying to bury the memory- and now had to face the reality that there might be something wrong.

 “I know, Karen- and I'm sorry but I have to check for tearing- for any ripping. Internally or otherwise.” 

Karen blanked thinking it impossible something like that could happen, “Tearing? Ripping? No- I would feel it...”

“No, Karen- you wouldn't. Or not yet anyway, despite what you might think you are still in shock- and probably will be for longer than you might think.” Karen felt her eyes brimming with tears- and yet refused to let them fall, she opened her legs and let Claire do her job.

  It was silent- there was nothing to say. No way to make it better- no words that might make her feel okay. And this was better- better than empty words that do nothing.

 It felt as though her humiliation might never end- and yet Claire quietly telling her she would be fine physically, there was a silent word that was unspoken- that she would be fine; eventually- and mentally was where she would most definitely suffer. 

 “Karen- There's nothing I can say that will change anything, but you are strong. And I know that you won't crumble- You won't let this man be the one to finish you. Won't let him win.” 

 Those words were what went through her head when Claire left the room, when Karen got dressed, when she sat on her bed, and when Matt walked through the door.

   “What are you still doing here, Matt?” His vacant stare, and ridiculous glasses gazed down on her- and in that reflection she saw herself. For the first time- she saw her face, a face Matt couldn't see. And it made her sick. 

  “She's right you know- You are strong….” They were pretty words, but somehow they felt different coming from him. Those same words had felt caring and compassionate from Claire- but from Matt they felt calculated, like a lecture would soon follow.

“But…” 

Here it comes. 

The speech about how his thoughts on what she might do- were obviously the right thing to do, and from experience anything she thought was obviously a sin to Matt.

 “You need help- professional help, Karen.”

“And how would you know what I need, Matt? You don't know anything- you don't know what I need…” 

   Karen wasn't about to let him tell her what to do or what she needed- her hands shook with fury, with an anger she didn't know she had inside herself. 

  “I’ve seen a lot of rape victims- and from experience i've learned that seeking help is what will save you.”

 She bristled at his words, “Save me? What do I need saving from, Matt? And what experience are you talking about? You might have talked to a few people who've been through something similar to me, but that doesn't mean you know anything.”

   “Save you from yourself- you killed him Karen. And I know you- you might not regret it now, but you'll feel the guilt eventually.”

 “Yes, I killed him- but I do not regret it!” She didn't, Karen felt a lot of things- but regret for her actions was not one of them.

 “You will- I know you…”

She shook her head getting up from her seat- needing to move, to pace- “No, Matt- you don't.”

  “Of course I do, Karen. I know you- and I know you're a good person.” 

“So killing makes a person bad?”

  It took a minute, but eventually Matt nodded his head, “Yeah- kind of.”

“Then I'm a bad person…”

  “No, Karen- you killed Billy in self defense- that doesn't make you bad.”

She was ready to blow up- everything, all the things she’s ever held back from him because she was afraid he would judge her was ready to come pouring out, “Look at me, Matt. Look real close- even before I met Frank I was in these kind of situations… You really think Billy fucking Russo is the first person I've killed?

  Silence. Stunned silence.

“And the funny part? The funny part is that I killed someone for you- not just you but everyone. It was Wesley. I shot him seven times- yeah seven I think. Then I got rid of the gun, like a real criminal.” She was on a roll, the word vomit was still coming up.

  “Karen…..”

She started laughing- a quietly crazy laugh- “I killed him because he said he would kill everyone I cared about. First my family- who hate me, then Ben- who’s already dead, then Foggy- who I love and couldn't let that happen too, then funnily enough you- who I thought I had to protect. Until it was only me- then they would kill me. He thought I was some weak little girl who wouldn't stand up for myself, but I did. And this is the part your really not gonna like- it felt good. I loved it- just like today.”

 His eyes bugged out of his head, “I loved it because I was saving both myself and the people around me. With Wesley I felt awful after, but knew it was for the best. But with Billy- I happily stabbed him over and over again, and I would do it a hundred more times to protect my family. To protect Soph and Fr- to protect my family. And I won't let you judge me for that.”

   Matt moved to interrupt her, his arms moving around in the way he always did when starting a lecture- but she stopped him before he could start, “Because that's what you do, Matt. You judge and think your better than everyone else. And I'm sick of it- you don't think Frank has told me about the ‘philosophical’ debates you two have had before. Because he has- and at first I didn't think he was right- but he is. You're this naive idealist who thinks he knows what's best for everyone- because what? Because your religious? Because God doesn't want people to kill other people?”

 “Stop! Karen-” 

“Wake up, Matt! Because I don't think God wanted a psycho to kidnap me and my daughter. I don't think God wanted that same psycho to rape me. I think God would be okay with what I did- I protected myself and the people I love. You have no right to tell me you know better- or that you understand. Because you don't- and frankly I don't want to hear anything you have to say. So thank you for coming for us, to save us- but I think you should leave.”

  It felt good to get it all out- it had been building in her for a while- a small fire that grew every time he asked her if she believed something in a condescending way and she had to pretend to feel the opposite- Karen was done being that doormat. 

 “No, we haven't even talked about what you just sai-”

Karen put her hands on his chest and softly pushed him backwards- out of her room and towards the front door, “I want you to leave- get out of my house….”

It took a while for it to happen- a few minutes of silence that she refused to break, then he just left. And she could breathe- until she thought about how she was alone. Frank wasn't back yet, and neither was Soph. 

 Trying to distract herself, Karen picked up the mail that had fallen to the floor during the attack to look it over. It was kinda funny to look at the manila envelope that had excited her so much- that it had only come in about a day or so earlier, that their lives had been close to perfect not too long ago.

 Opening the envelope she took out the papers and started signing- wanting to get this over and done with, she signed along every dotted line. And there were a lot of dotted lines.

 Strange how adopting a kid could be so complicated; her joke felt funny for a moment until it took another thirty five minutes reading all the fine print- all the fine print on the first page. 


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooooo sorry its been so long!! I had a crazy week- I was about to start, then my pre-order of star wars came out and I had to watch that... Then I woke up the next morning as sick as a dog!! I've been so sick this week, I tried to get it out last night- but I couldn't finish I just had to go to bed. So I tried my best to push it out tonight, for you guys I waited to take my nyquil and I'm hoping you guys like it!! LOL

_ Blood.  _

_ Smiles. _

_   Warm. _

_ Wet. _

_   Sticky blood. _

_ Teeth. _

_   Hot blood. _

_ Burning. _

_   His blood. _

_ Tears. _

_   Billy’s blood.  _

_ Tangy blood. _

_   Metallic. _

_ She can taste it.  _

_   It's in her mouth. _

_ It's in her mind. _

_   The blood. _

_ His blood.  _

_   Billy’s. _

_ Salty blood. _

_   She can feel in her throat. _

_ Coming up. _

_   In the mirror.  _

_ Smiles. _

_   On the bed. _

_ All the blood. _

_   His blood. _

  Karen shot up- right out of her dream. No- out of her nightmare. And she felt it, the same thing she felt every time she had this dream. The bile rising in her throat- the same nightmare she’d been having for over a week now.

  Every morning since  _ it  _ happened- she woke up and she threw up. Karen couldn't help it, she threw the sheets off her clammy body and ran to the bathroom.

 All she could do was pray she would make it- having already had a miss once this week. Karen had thought this would be a one time thing- a nightmare she would inevitably see, but this was different. 

  The seat was already up- in anticipation of this happening, she vomited up all that was left in her stomach. It wasn't much- after the first few times she decided it was better not to have a heavy dinner if she didn't want to throw it all up anyway.

 She heaved.

It was awful.

 She tried to keep her hair out of the way.

It was no use.

 She would have to take a shower anyway.

It made her lightheaded. 

 She couldn't stop.

It kept coming up.

  The tears trailed down her cheeks- unavoidable and unstoppable. No matter how hard she tried, Karen couldn't keep the tears away- all day she would keep the tears at bay… But here- here in this bathroom was the only place she could cry. It was only here on this floor that she could cry- without anyone from work asking questions, without Sophie seeing it. This was the only place tears were acceptable. 

  The only place she didn't have to pretend.

Her head was pounding.

 Everything hurt.

That's when she felt the hands- his hands holding her hair back. And she felt awful- that he had to be here for this, that he was seeing her like this, that she woke him. Frank was amazingly helpful this whole week- but as helpful as he had been, having him here twenty four seven was suffocating. Not because she didn't want him with her- but because he was so worried about her. It was sweet sure, but it was hard to admit to being dependent on anyone after so many years on her own.

  Frank pulled her hair out of the way and into a ponytail on the nape of her neck, so she could puke without worrying about her hair getting totally disgusting. 

 After it was only dry heaves left, she knew it was over- there was nothing left to come up- her head rested on the lip of the toilet, and she thought there couldn't be a lower point than this. Loving this floor- loving the freedom she had in the bathroom- the bathroom? 

 But yes- it was the bathroom she loved most, it was the only place she didn't need to put on a mask for the world. Karen could rest her head on the toilet and pretend this was her safe place. And that thought was miserable.

  “I'm sorry… Did I wake you?” He was silent behind her, rubbing his hand up and down her back- the only physical support he knew how to give at this point. 

 “No- no, I uh-it wasn't you, you weren't that loud- but I was actually kinda cold without you.” Her eyes brimmed with tears and she smiled- this beautifully sweet man was here trying to help her. And she didn't know how to thank him. 

  “You gotta talk to me Kare- it's been over a week and this can't be healthy… Was it about Billy- your nightmare?” Frank was unsure how to get his question across- a crazy situation, a fragile topic that he had no clue how to fix.

 “Kinda… But also not-” His eyebrows furrowed in shock and confusion.    
Confusion at the answer- not answer.

 Shock that this was the most he had gotten out of her in that whole week- Karen wouldn't talk about it. Wouldn't say a word- and he didn't feel right pushing her. So he let her decide what she would tell him. He prayed that eventually she would tell him everything- but until then he would wait.

   “It starts happy- with you, and Soph- and I'm happy….. And then I'm in a bathroom or a hallway or a closet- always somewhere with a mirror-” Mirror? Frank was confused at where this was going, but let her continue anyway- knowing this was up to her. “I'm looking in the mirror- smiling. Because I'm happy- and then my teeth are red, and there's blood. I don't know how, but I know that it's his. That it's his blood coming out my mouth- but I'm still smiling….”

 Frank’s heart was breaking for her, breaking because he had no clue how to help her- “Having nightmares about his blood is natural…”

 “It's not the blood that gets me sick- I mean it kindo of is, but mostly it the feeling inside myself. I'm happy- I'm elated that I did it. I'm happy that I shoved that necklace into his throat- your necklace… And all I can feel is joy,” 

  Her hand covered her mouth and Frank knew- he knew what this was about… He knew this wasn't the first person she had killed- but this was different. This was personal. And she was confused at the feeling inside her- she must have thought herself a monster. A thought he had had about himself on multiple times throughout his life.

   “It was different than I thought it would be- it's not like in the movies where you cut someone's throat and they immediately die- no! I cut his throat while he was on top of me and his eyes bulged like they were shocked I had done it- then his hands wrapped around my throat while he bled out, he choked me until all his strength was drained.… His blood covered me and all I can think about is how my mouth was probably open and I probably got a lot of his blood in my- in my mouth. After he bled out he slumped on me and I didn't move for a while- I just let him bleed on top of me until I finally pushed him off, and i didn't move. I didn't try to get out of the bed- I just layed there in a pool of his blood. And it makes me sick- physically sick…. Not only that I can taste his blood in my mouth but the feeling inside of me makes me sick to my stomach- I don't know what to do….”

  Frank was close to tears- tears of sadness for her, and tears of frustration at himself- that he didn't know what to do. But he kept them in- this wasn't his time to cry- to grieve, this was her time. 

  He didn't know what to say, “Come- come back to bed, you've got work in a couple of hours, then we have the party later. You need your rest….”

 Karen shook her head at him, knowing that going to bed was the last thing she needed- “No, I think i'm gonna go for a run.”

  “A run? Karen it's like four forty five in the morning- come back to bed.” Frank was shocked his Karen was so against sleep that she would suggest running at this time of day- but knew he couldn't stop her. 

 He waited in bed for her for the better part of an hour, until his eyes slipped shut- finally falling asleep in the comforting scent of Karen's bed. But it wasn't until later that he finally relaxed- when he felt her sweaty arms wrap around him that he really went into a deep sleep. 

 

  Karen lay awake behind him for hours- her eyes begging to be allowed to shut, but she refused to let them close- afraid of the images that would find her in dreamland. 

 She didn't move until seven- earlier than she needed to get ready for work, but okay with starting early knowing she needed to leave before usual time later that night if she wanted to make it to the Lieberman's. 

 It was one of the only things she was looking forward too- a few days earlier Sophie had found the paperwork for her adoption and ruined the surprise adoption party the family had planned. She was so excited it made Karen feel at least slightly better- that she was able to keep her little girl from the nightmares she had- that she had been able to protect her in that sense. 

  It was especially exciting making Sophie promise she would pretend she had no idea what the party was about- of only to make Sarah feel better about this excuse to have both families back together since Thanksgiving. 

   Her heart ached in a terribly beautiful way that Soph wanted Karen to be her mom, making every day with her brighter than the last. And here was Frank, sweet and amazing Frank- all the parents at her preschool having no idea the Punisher was there for the past week at nine and five to drop off and pick the little girl up. 

  
  


__  Karen sat at the island in the middle of the Lieberman kitchen, the lights were dimmed and the candles on the cake were lit waiting for Sophie to blow out. She had wanted to go and buy the cake from the local bakery down the street, but when Sarah had insisted on making it herself Karen couldn't turn her down. Looking at the cake now, Karen was sure she made the right choice- a chocolate cake with vanilla frosting and strawberries, and in the center written in red frosting;

**_Karen + Sophie_ **

**_FOREVER_ **

**_(and Frank)_ **

  From the squealing, it was obvious Sophie loved it too. Karen looked over at Sarah and tears brimmed in her eyes, and for the first time in a while- they were happy. Happy tears. She was choked up with emotion as the woman beside her grabbed her hand underneath the table- Karen wasn't sure how much Sarah knew about what had happened, but she knew she wouldn't be able to express with words how much this night meant. A night about Sophie. A night she could try and forget how miserable she is- and Karen knew there were no words she could say to thank Sarah for her silent support. So she looked back at her and squeezed back, before mouthing, ‘ _ Thank you’ _

__ Sarah nodded back at her, then grabbed the serving knife and started cutting. Sophie stood on the stool, her tiny hands under her chin and her but up in the air- “I want the a big piece- and I want it the  _ Karen _ piece- ya wanna know why?” 

   Leo indulged her and asked, “Why’s that?”

“Cuz Karen’s my mom now!!” She screamed and Karen couldn't help but laugh- a heart filling, joyful laugh. Frank looked back at her as she tipped back the glass of red wine, with a smile on his face- knowing his girl was finally having a good night. He wasn't sure how to make every night like this, how to make her happy as often as possible- but he knew he would try. 

  “Here’s your piece Sophie, then one for Leo and Zach- how bout you two? Want big pieces too?” David handed the three kids their slices, before asking what Frank and Karen wanted.

  He watched as she smiled back at David and got up from her seat, “I just can't say no to cake, now can I?”

 “No you can not, Miss Missy.” Hearing her laugh was like music to Frank’s ears, no matter that it was David who was making her laugh- this was what she needed. She needed people- people who cared and wanted the best for her. And that's what the Liebermans could be for her- along with Sophie and himself.

  “Okay, okay- give my piece to Frank, I got to make a run to the little girls room.” 

Frank watched her go, before grabbing the two plates from David and digging in to his own- “So….”

  He looked up at David, “So?”

“How is she? She okay?” Sarah hadn't asked it, but she was listening despite her trying to keep her back to the conversation- pretending she was only watching the kids who sat in the living room. But he didn't mind if she heard, Sarah obviously cared- and he wasn't sure how much David had told him but he hoped he wouldn't have to explain anything. 

 “Okay? I don't know if there can be an okay, but this is the best she's been. The happiest, I mean. It's been hard the past few nights. Not only for her- but it's hard to watch. To see her like this- it's killing me... And I don't know what to do, but… But tonight- tonight is a good night. I just do-” 

 Frank had been explaining it to David when he heard it- a scream and the sound of something shattering. He didn't think- he just moved, just ran straight towards the sound. 

  The awful sound. 

Her scream.

  It haunted him.

A thousand horrible scenarios ran through his head. 

  Frank got to the door of the bathroom and heard her harsh breathing behind it, he didn't notice but everyone was behind him- all the kids, both David and Sarah, all worried about what they would find behind that door. 

  He turned the door knob- it was locked. He jiggled it- pushed against it. 

“Karen?” 

 Nothing.

“I'm comin in! Get away from the door…” He didn't ask if the Liebermans were okay with him breaking down a door, just did it anyway- he had to get to Karen.

  And what he found made all the progress made tonight- go away in an instant. There she was on the floor, with shatters of vase and glass surrounding her- Karen's hands were shaking and tears were running down her cheeks.

  “I- i'm sorry…. I'm sorry,” Her voice was watery and sad.

“I'm sorry I'll- I'll clean it up, I promise. I'll clean it. I'm gonna clean it….” Her shaking hands moved to pick up the little shards, and Frank moved as fast as he could to grab her wrists- to stop her before she could hurt herself picking up the glass. 

  “Karen….” Her big blue eyes looked up at him, as if just realising he was here- the whole situation scaring the shit out of him.

 “I'm sorry-” Frank shook his head at her, not wanting to hear any apologies from her- Karen had nothing to apologise for.

 That's when Frank remembered people were at the door, “Why don't we go get another piece of cake, guys?” 

 Sarah’s voice made him look up at the kids, seeing the fear in Sophie's eyes- he smiled at her. Hoping it would reassure her things would be okay. Frank watched as Leo and Zach pulled Sophie along with them to follow their mother- knowing this was not something they should be watching. The door started to close and the last thing he saw before looking back at his girl on the floor, were the sad eyes of David Lieberman looking down on him- an expressive pair that made him nod his head in thanks back at his friend.

  “Karen….” 

Her body and hands shook beneath him, Frank curled around her holding Karen in his arms- hoping he would be able to calm her down and have her avoid getting any glass stuck in her soft skin. 

 “I'm- i'm sorry, I didn't mean to-”

“Shh sh she, it's okay. It's okay, Karen.” 

 He rocked her.

In silence.

  He rocked them both back and forth.

And waited.

  Waited for her to say something.

Say anything.

   “I-” She started.

And stopped.

    He wondered how long it was- 

How long they sat on that floor.

   He wondered what they thought was going on.

Wondered what Sophie was thinking.

  If she was scared.

If both his girls were scared.

  If he could help either of them

If he was even capable of helping them.

  “I was happy, Frank.”

He waited for more- for her to say something else.

  “I know- I know you were, Kare.”

She sniffled and his heart broke- a stark difference to how the night began.

   “I came in here- and I was still laughing… I was smiling and I-”

He waited, wanting to know where this was going.

   “I looked at myself in the mirror and I saw it…”

Saw what?

   “I saw the dream- I saw my nightmare in that mirror. And my teeth- they were stained, with wine. But-”

  She stopped with a choke, fresh tears coming.

“But it wasn't wine I saw on my teeth- it was blood. His blood. I don't know why… But then I was in the nightmare- happy, then suddenly filled with his blood.”

  God dammit. He wasn't sure what he was supposed t say to this.

“It was irrational, and I should have known better- but I just freaked out and was afraid this was all just a- a dream. A nightmare that I couldn't leave. Maybe it was the wine- but I saw it…”

  Frank nodded, “Maybe no more alcohol for a while?” 

“Yeah,”

   Silence.

Quiet.

   To quiet.

Then it broke.

   She started sobbing.

Loud- soul shaking sobs.

   Cries that scorched him all the way through.

“Frank? How am I- How can I-”

   He didn't know the question, but he already knew he didn't know the answer.

Any time he had asked himself any sort of question that started like that- he never knew the answer.

  “How am I supposed to go on? I can't- I can't live like this…” 

No- don't think like that, Karen.

   “I mean how am I supposed to go on when I look at myself and see this- this monster. How do I keep going? What do I do?”

  It was silent for a while, her waiting for an answer- and him waiting to try and figure out how to say it.

    “I wish- I wish I could tell you it gets better. That it’ll go away- but it won't. And I don't want to lie to you, there's no easy fix. You just- just have to learn to live with it.” 

  A sob escaped her lips, but he knew he had to keep going.

“And I know it's not what you want to hear- but this, it's never gonna leave you. I mean, you don't think I woke up after Maria- after the kids, and sew a monster- a murderer in the mirror? You don't think I had nightmares of that day in my head every night? Shit I still have em’ Karen.”

  Her blue eyes looked up at him- a semblance of understanding in her eyes, a hope that he had some cure to all her woes.

  “But that's never gonna leave- it never left me. I just learned to live with it. You have to find something- find anything that will pull you out of the shit storm that is grief. And I found that something- becoming the Punisher pulled me up, gave me purpose- gave me a reason to breathe. But….”

  Frank paused, knowing this moment would bare his soul- in ways he had never put into words, “It wasn't becoming the Punisher that made me live again. It was meeting you. Meeting Sophie- I was alive, but I wasn't living- not till you. I mean Jesus, you're barely sleeping- and when you do finally pass out, you wake up only to puke your guts out. Karen, you're eating but most of it comes right back up the next morning- it's not healthy. I'm scared- I'm scared something gonna happen. But I'm not just gonna sit around and let you wither away into nothingness- I need you, Soph needs you. We need you, Karen. You are family. You're my family. You and Soph, you're a part of me now- and I won't let you go. I swear.”

  Her lip was trembling, her eyes watering- but the only thing that assured him to keep going was her head. She was nodding along- silently asking him to keep going.

  “I'm gonna do everything in my power to be that something that keeps you here- that keeps you with me. That keeps you goin’. That keeps the nightmares away. I want to be that for you, Karen. But I can't promise you that I'm gonna do everything right, or say the right thing- but I'm gonna try. For you, for Sophie- You do so much- for Soph, for me. But it's my turn, got it? It's my turn to take care of you. And I'm gonna do it, okay?”

    She took his hand- laced it through her own and brought it to her lips. Karen kissed their intertwined hands before giving him a watery smile, “Okay…”

   “Okay.”

Let’s get started.


	33. Grief's Offspring Pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting- I was just thinking of my OTPs and I wanted to know if any of us have the same ones.... So tell me if were twins or if their are some new couples I should check out!!  
>  -Kastle (Obviously)  
>  -Reylo (Star wars)  
>  -SanSan (GoT)  
>  -Dramione (Harry Potter)  
>  -Bughead (Riverdale)  
>  -Bellarke (the 100)  
>  -Jackie and Hyde (70's show)  
>  -Mickey and Ian (Shameless)  
> I think thats about it- I may have forgotten a few, tell me who you ship!!

    The soft rain fell on Frank as he stood outside the small church with Duck sitting at his side, after Billy’s donations stopped the group had to move to a new location. And the basement of St. Mathews was both cheap and spacious- perfect for the Thursday night meetings Curtis hosted weekly.

 He was at least half an hour early this week, and was waiting for Curtis before entering the place- not totally comfortable bringing Duck in by himself, prefering to bring the dog inside with Curtis by his side. Frank had brought Duck by one Thursday after Karen and Soph had been out the whole day, he brought him inside and was unsure if it would be okay- and it was a hit. All the former vets loved having the attention hogging dog to comfort them whenever it was their turn to speak- so Frank brought Duck with him to meetings every few weeks.

  “Hey, Frank!” He heard his name being called, and looked up at the man walking towards him. Curtis looked happy and healthy, something everyone who came to this meeting could only hope for. 

  “Hey man- I brought Duck….” Curtis kept walking, expecting Frank to follow him inside. 

“I can see that, the guys will be happy about it.”  They were walking through the building- a place where he might have come if he still believed, a notion he no longer held close to his heart.

  “Yeah, well he’s pretty good with em and he likes coming by- so I figured why not? Y’know?” 

 Curtis nodded his head at him as they walked down the steps into the basement, once the door was closed Frank unclipped Duck’s leash and let him wander around the room- sniffing everything. 

 Without needing to be asked Frank helped Curtis take out and set up the chairs into their regular circle- they were working in a comfortable silence that Frank didn't want to break, but knew it had to be done. 

 “So….” Curtis started.

Frank knew it was an unasked question, but still put it off- “So?”

  “So… How is everything?” 

Frank avoided eye contact with his friend and continued to put down chairs, “With Karen?”

  “With everything.” 

Frank knew it was what Curtis was asking, but waited a few minutes before answering. It was one of the few good things about talking with Curtis, he felt no rush- Frank knew he didn't have to speak until he was ready. 

   “It's- It's been hard. Really hard.” And it was the truth, it had been hard- it was definitely harder than he expected it to be. 

  “Really?” 

“Yeah, I mean- it's been almost three months since Billy, since that night. And I don't know what I'm supposed to do- she won't talk to me. Won't say anything about that night.”

 Franks gaze met the epenthetic brown eyes of his old friend, “Has it been uncomfortable- between you two?”

 “No- no, no she's great… With Soph, with me, with work- for all intents and purposes, she's ‘happy’- but….” 

  The air quotes Frank had made around the word happy, hadn't gone unnoticed, “But?”

“But she’s not- she’s not ‘Karen Page’- she’s this robot version of Karen. And I don't know what to do…” Curtis could hear the defeated tone of his friends and knew this was serious, that this was something that had been stewing in him for a while.

  This version of Frank could only come out when he was truly desperate- when there was nothing left he could do that he hadn't tried before.

 “Well she’s been through a lot, you both have. It's understandable to be changed after such a traumatic experience- you know that, Frank.”

 Frank sighed before dropping himself into the uncomfortable metal chair, his head fell in his hands, “I know- you know I know. And that's what I expected after, a different Karen- a changed Karen. I was expecting her to be different, but this is like shes just pretending it never happened- and she might be able to do that. But- but I don't think I can. I can't forget that I couldn't protect them, that I couldn't protect protect her- I can't forget that… I just want to talk about it- about how she feels, and I know it'll be good for her- it’ll be good for her to let it out, not bottle it up. And it doesn't have to me, she doesn't have to talk about it with me- although I’d prefer it, but I'm just- Just tell me what to do. What to say.”

    Curtis sat across the circle, in the chair opposite him- he knew Frank was having trouble with this, but was unsure what he wanted. “Well why’re you asking me for? You want me to talk to her? I barely know her- only met her once, maybe twice. I don't think I'm qualified, Frank.”

  “No I don't want you to talk to her- I want you to tell me what to say to her. Besides look at what you do here. You get men like me to tell you their problems, to tell a whole group of people what's wrong with them. So what should I say that will make her open up?”

  Curtis scoffed, “There is no formula to grief, Frank. It's all different- everyone deals with grief differently. But no matter how different it's not easy, there is no easy fix- you know that.”

   A lone tear trailed down Franks cheek, and as subtle as he could- Frank swiped the back of his hand to brush it away.

 A tear of sadness.

A tear frustration.

 A tear for her.

A tear for himself. 

  That one tear had a lot of emotion in it- and somehow Duck knew it, the good boy coming over to rest his head on his owners knee. 

Frank rubbed him behind the ear- listening to Curtis continue, “If there was you don't think I'd bottle that shit up and force it down everyone's throats- If there was some way I could make people tell me how to help them, I would. But you can't force it. I mean, look at you- you don't think if I could’ve I would have grabbed you by the scruff of your neck, tied you to a chair and made you tell me what had happened after Maria. But it doesn't work that way.”

 Frank nodded his head, knowing it was the truth but wanting to find a way around it, wanting there to be a faster way to help his Karen from anything else. “I know- I know that, but there has to be a way to help her. I can't just sit around and wait, twiddling my fingers.”

 “You are helping her, just by being there- you might not think so, but it's true. But Frank, grief is grief- loss is loss. And what you went through is different than what Karen went through, but in a lot of ways- really similar. And from you've told me, I think she's doing great- I think she's doing amazing for only being three months since her assault. It might feel like a lifetime to you, but in reality three months isn't that long- and if she’s still following through on her responsibilities, with you, with Sophie, and even with work, than that's a win in my book. But you want me to be real honest, Frank?”

  “You know that I do, Curt.”

The man got up from his seat to pour himself and Frank a cup of coffee before continuing, “I think Karen is gonna be fine- in time. And you have to be patient, but the reason it's so urgent for you is because you're projecting.” 

  Frank accepted the steaming cup with a questioning tilt to his brow, “Projecting?”

“Yes- you're thinking of the trauma of what happened to you. What happened with Maria and the kids, and you're thinking of how you dealt with it. Becoming the punisher- this shell of a man. And you don't want that to happen to her, don't want her to have to go through something like that…” 

   He mulled it over in his head- was the reason he was so frightened for Karen because he was afraid she would freak out after a while, and do something crazily unpredictable? Yes- he was afraid of that. Afraid that the way she might deal with this could be destructive- to herself, and unintentionally Soph.

  Frank was silently thinking when he heard it- the reassuring sound of his friends voice, “It's not gonna happen.”

 “Huh?”

Curtis stood in front of Frank and put a hand on his shoulder, “It's never gonna happen for Karen, because as similar as both your situations might be in the greif department- it's different for her. Not to say that either of your losses are anything less- but it's different for her than it was for you.”

  “How so?”

“For one- after you lost your family you had no one- I mean you had me, you thought you had Bill- but there was nothing there for you that made you want to keep living. Everything was gone in that one day- Karen has you, she has Soph, she has Duck- If she was really too far gone, she wouldn't care what happened to Soph- Karen would be too wrapped up in her own misery to keep trying. But she is- trying I mean. And that means a lot, that there is something there to hold her afloat- to force her hand, to make her want to keep going. You didn't have that. So you have to let it run its course- you can't rush her. It's not fair.”

   Frank knew he was right- Curtis always knew what to say, how to make Frank see sense. For that, he was grateful- “I'm being a hypocrite, aren't I? I mean I went full crazy, all out Punisher. That's gotta be the definition of hypocrite, right?”

 “Kinda- yeah.” Curtis smiled while answering, and before another word could be said they both burst out laughing.

 It was another ten minutes of absolute insanity before Frank was somewhat serious again, “I'm just so worried about her, y’know?”

 “I know, bud. But there's really nothing you can do…”

Frank pleaded with the man, silently begging for something- anything that could make it better, “Nothing?”

 “No- other than be there and constantly tell her you're there for her when she's ready- that's all you can do.” Frank nodded at his friend, only slightly relieved he could at  least tell Karen in some little way he was worried about her. 

 He was about to continue talking when the first of many  of the meeting members walked through the door. Frank sat straighter in his seat, and called Duck to sit right beneath his feet- not wanting the dog to get too excited before everyone arrived and the door was closed once again. 

 It was seven fifty eight, only two minutes before group started- and though there was only one other person in the room besides Curtis and himself, Frank knew they would show up. Most guys didn't show up until right on the dot, or a few minutes after. Frank could understand- it was hard to admit to yourself you needed to come to this meeting, that you needed to be her, so usually they waited to the last minute to arrive. Having usually spent a few minutes before leaving their house telling themselves they didn't need to come- that they were better. 

  But as much as you might tell yourself that- it usually wasn't true. Because if you had to try and convince yourself you were alright- it should be a sign that you're not- alright that is.  

 Frank shouldn't be one to talk, he spent months telling himself he didn't need to be here- but after the first meeting he knew he was wrong. It felt good to get it off his chest to people who understood- and that's why he was so passionate about Karen doing the same. Frank wanted Karen to let this go, because he knew this kind of grief could fester and grow- building from the inside out until one day it's just as visible on the outside as it feels on the inside. He knew what happened would forever be with her- it would never go away. She would always remember it- always see it, always watch it behind her eyelids- at least that's how it was for him. But what he had to do was help her find something to mask it, to shove it to the background- a way to make her life right now be the forefront of her mind. Frank knew if this was just brushed under the rug, the nightmares would never stop= there would never be any reprieve. He already knew his dreams were still with him- his nightmares, but what made it better was waking up to this. This life- this new life he made for himself, a simple life with Karen, and Soph, and the Lieberman’s, and thursday night group with Curt- this was how he made the nightmares fade. They were still there- but now his mind was filled with blonde hair, and happy smiles, from both his girls.

  And that's what he wanted for Karen- something that could make it easier. It would be hard, but necessary. 

  Frank hadn't realized he had been spacing until a new guy started speaking- speaking about his time over there, in war. And it killed him- to look at these young kids and not want to be the one to protect them from the horror of what they saw. It was how he felt every week he came by here, a sense of why he had enlisted in the first place- the need to fight and protect. 

  By the end of his story the were all laughing, something they didn't do often in group- but the was funny, telling them all how he planned to go and become a comedian after this- hoping for a call for SNL- he was a hoot. 

  That's when his phone rang.

A strange occurrence for a thursday night.

  And Curt wasn't happy about the interruption. 

Like a crazy ol’ librarian who hated technology.

  “Sorry, I gotta take this- she normally doesn't call on thursdays, Karen knows I have group.”

  The funny kid got a jape in, “Oooh is that your ol’ lady? Tell her hi for me?”

“Ah shut up….” Frank couldn't hide the smile.

 Or the laugh when he answered the phone, “Hello?”

Frank walked out the basement door, needing a bit more privacy.

 “Helloo? Karen?”

His heart rate was picking up.

 “Karen!?”

God dammit!   
  “You better say something, woman. I swear to god if your hurt, I'm gonna-”

The voice cut him off, “F-Frank?”

   The soft voice startled him.

It was something he wasn't expecting.

   And it made him start to sweat.

He didn't know how he knew, but he did. 

   Frank knew something was wrong.

And despite how he didn't believe anymore- he prayed.

   To anyone listening.

_ God let them be okay- _

_   PLEASE….. _

“S- God dammit, why do you have Karen’s phone, Soph?”

   She was silent.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

  All he could do was pray to the God he thought he had long ago abandoned- hoping it wouldn't be what he thought.

   Cause all he could think was the worst. 


	34. Grief's Offspring Pt. 2

 “Helloo? Karen?”

His heart rate was picking up.

“Karen!?”

God dammit! 

 “You better say something, woman. I swear to god if your hurt, I'm gonna-”

The voice cut him off, “F-Frank?”

  The soft voice startled him.

It was something he wasn't expecting.

  And it made him start to sweat.

He didn't know how he knew, but he did.

  Frank knew something was wrong.

And despite how he didn't believe anymore- he prayed.

  To anyone listening.

God let them be okay-

 PLEASE…..

“S- God dammit, why do you have Karen’s phone, Soph?”

  She was silent.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

Frank waited with his breath stuck in his throat, knowing it couldn't be good- he walked back into the room and clipped Duck’s leash on and without a word he started walking out the church heading towards the apartment. 

 “It's M- I mean Karen. It's Karen…” 

His heart was racing, and all he could think was at this rate he wasn't gonna die by any bullet or anything, but by heart attack. “What happened? Is someone there?”

 “No- I guess she’s fine. Kinda?” 

His brow furrowed and his step faltered, Frank couldn't understand what she meant- Soph had sounded worried like something was wrong. But then she said Karen was fine?

 “Kinda? What do you mean Soph? Are you in trouble? Is she okay?”

“I don't know…” Frank could hear the tears in her voice and knew he had to calm the little girl down. 

 “Just breathe… Now tell me what happened, okay?”

He heard Sophie take a few deep breaths before she began, “Karen came and picked me up from school like usual, she told me we would make dinner early since you weren't coming home till late. We made dinner, but she wasn't hungry- so only I ate. Then she told me I could watch some episodes of Paw Patrol on Netflix- and I was excited, because usually she doesn't let me watch a lot on Thursdays cause movi night is tomorrow, y’know-”

  “Okay, sweetie get to the point.”

“Oh right, well she was gonna go take a bath- I was watching my show when I saw that I had watched a few episodes and she still wasn't out of the bathroom.” Her voice wavered and Frank wasn't sure if it was because she was about to say something awful, or because Sophie had a dew bad experiences with parents and the bathtub. 

 Karen talked about it all the time how frustratingly sad it was that Sophie was so afraid of having a bath, the little girl insisted on having a shower instead- “And then?”

 “I wasn't sure if I was aloud to watch anymore, so I went and knocked on the door- she didn't answer so I just opened it. It was unlocked- I swear… And she was just-”

 She stopped for a moment, and Frank's footsteps stopped altogether, the leash pulling before Duck walked back to stand at his master's feet. All Frank could think was what if he didn't know how serious it really was with Karen, and what if something really awful had happened- what would he do?

  “What happened? What was she doing, Soph?”

“She didn't even look up when I called for her- it was like she couldn't hear me…”

 “What was she doing?”

“Just sitting there- crying… I tried to call for her, but I- I was scared. I don't know why she’s crying, and she’s still in there- And I know i'm not supposed to go in her purse, but I didn't know what to do- I had to call you… Are you mad?”

 Mad? At her? Not in a million years- scared? Of course. He was scared shitless- All Frank could think was what if it was worse…

 “No, of course not sweetie- I could never be mad at you… Just wait for me. I'll be there soon, okay?”

  She breathed out a sigh of what could only be relief- “Okay…”

“Okay. I'll be there any minute.” Frank heard Sophie hang up with a click, and his pace quickened while he dialed another number- knowing she couldn't be there for this.

 -------

 Frank put his key in the lock while waving at Ms Jackson from down the hall, trying his best to seem as calm as possible- not wanting to freak Sophie out with how stressed he really was. 

 He opened the door and before he could close it behind him- a fifty pound kid slammed into his legs. Sophie was clinging to his legs, and he bent down to pick her up- and his heart was broken in two. She was bawling her little heart out- and it tore into him, Franks throat was clogged with emotion.

  But he knew what he had to do, so with her in his arms Frank walked straight into Sophie’s room. He picked up her backpack, and shoved her pj’s inside, and extra set of clothes another pair of sneakers, her toothbrush and hairbrush before zipping it closed. Frank was rubbing Soph’s back, trying to sooth her when he walked out the apartment and headed into the garage. He pulled the car seat from his truck and walked out the underground until he stood on the sidewalk. “What are we doing?”

 “You're gonna go and have a sleepover…” 

She pulled her head back, and looked at him with confusion- “Sleepover?”

 Frank was about to respond when the car pulled up in front of them, the window rolled down and David’s curly hair greeted him from the driver side. 

 “Hey kiddo, Leo is real excited to see you- hey Frank!”

Both adults got out of the car, David opened the door and started to strap Sophies car seat in while Frank reasured her it was all in good fun.

 “But why am I going?”

“It’s gonna be fun-”

 “NO! Tell me the truth!”

“I- I need to help Karen, Soph.”

  “I need to help her too! I should be there!”

“Not today, Soph- it's grown up talk, tonight. You can come home tomorrow, and help her then.” She was struggling against him, but Frank started strapping her in anyway- knowing it was for her own good.

 “No! I have to be there- I have to be the one to do it!!”

His heart was in his stomach, weighing him down- “I'm sorry, Soph.”

 He closed the door on her, but he could hear her cries from behind the door- Frank turned towards David and didn't have to say anything. As cheesy as it was his eyes said it all- how thankful he was David could do this for him- how Sophie’s cries were killing him- how worried he was for Karen- and how angry he was at himself that he hadn't handled this earlier, that he had let this whole situation get worse and worse. Frank was trying his best to listen to Curtis’s advise, to let her be the one to come to him- but it was hard to just let this happen. 

 He watched as David drove away with a screaming Soph in the backseat- and it tore at his heart as he walked back into the building, knowing he and Karen were most likely gonna have an argument. And that’s why he needed Soph not to be there- he didn't want her to worry, didn't want her to hear it all. 

  But he knew what had to be done- he had to confront her. He had to make her talk, and the only way he could make her talk wasn't very nice. He had to make her mad- Frank knew he couldn't just ask her to talk to him, that wouldn't work- he would have to make her mad, make her scream at him until she felt better. 

 He opened the door to the bathroom- the only light was the small lamp on the counter that barely made a difference, she was basically shrouded in darkness. Frank flicked on the light and saw her flinch- Karen sat in the tub with her arms wrapped around her knees, her head hidden in the corners of her arms. 

 Frank didn't say anything just moved to sit on the closed toilet- he refused to be the one to speak first, he wanted her to acknowledge his presence. He wanted her to know this wasn't good. 

 It was a few minutes before he heard a muffled whisper, “What are you doing here? I thought it was thursday- thought you had a meeting.”

  “I did- I was there, then I got a call- from Sophie. She was scared- and I had to come running over here because she was freaking out.”

 “I- i'm sorry, she in bed?”

Frank shook his head before rubbing his face knowing this was gonna be hard, “I'm not the one you should be apologizing too. And no- she’s not her. She’s at David’s. I thought it best, that she not be here- for this.”

  She was silent- and his blood was boiling, he wanted her to scream at him, yell at him- do anything but be quiet. 

“What were you thinking?! Karen- You know what happened to her mother, and it happened in a fucking tub too! She was so afraid! And Soph didn't want to leave either- she wanted to stay behind for some crazy reason, but I wouldn't let her. Do you know why she wanted to stay behind? You gonna answer or no? She wanted to stay here because she fucking loves you, because you're her goddamn mother- but right now you're not acting very ‘motherly’. You're acting like a child- pouting and forgetting about your responsibilities..”

 He didn't mean it- and he knew he was saying some fucked up shit, but he needed her to start talking. And if the only way for her to talk was to yell and scream at him- then so be it. 

  “You don't get to lecture me, Frank! I- This is fucking- You wouldn't understand!” Finally she was talking- screaming more like it, but it was something. 

  So he yelled right back, “Then make me- help me understand! Make me understand, help me, Karen- because this… This isn't healthy.” 

 “I-”

“C’mon, Karen..”

Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and he couldn't tell if they were sad or angry tears- probably a mix of both.

  “My-”

She kept starting then stopping, and he needed her to just do it- just get it out.

  “Just talk to me-”

“You- you want the truth? There is no truth, no one wants to hear the truth- I go through my life, I go to work, I do all this shit that makes me look normal- that makes me feel normal. But that’s not the truth- it's the truth I want it to be, what you want it to be- the truth that everybody wants it to be. I can't forget the real truth, Frank- I just get better at lying about it, about lying to myself. But the truth is… I'm not normal- not anymore.” 

  She was just getting started- getting it off her chest, and he wouldn't stop her no matter how much he wanted to comfort her.

 “But the truth- it's not important! Nobody wants the truth, look at my life- I have to much to do for the truth to be important, I'm too busy to acknowledge the fact that I have to get used to smiling through my pain. All I do is lie- lie to everyone, lie to myself… And I am done trying to be perfect- trying to be what everyone else wants. I can't be that.”  

  Frank moved forward and tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off- and he tried not to admit how much it hurt. “You're a survivor, Karen- you're a fighter. You can't give up…”

  “A survivor? Frank, my life is tearing me apart. I don't feel safe, I'm alive- but I feel like things have been taken from me that I can't get back.”  

 “I won't tell you I know how you feel, because I don't- but you're wrong. There are things that cannot be taken from you- not from you. You're Karen fucking Page- and that little shit cannot take your strength, because that's what you are. Your strong- through and through. And It won't feel like it now, but I know that in time you will get through this. Not for me, not for anyone else but you. You're gonna get through this for you- because you are STRONG! You're smart, you're Karen Page. And that means something.”

 For the first time that night, she actually looked at him- not through him with anger, but at him with a sadness that broke his heart. “I thought this could be one of those things, where if you don't talk about it- it would go away. But Frank, it's not going away- I can't forget. Especially not now.” 

 What? What did that mean?

“I'm not smart, Frank- I'm fucking stupid…”

  “No you are not. Your smarter than almost anyone I know, Karen.”

“Did you know after- after Kevin died, I cried everyday for months. Everyday. Some days were good, I’d be happy- then I would think what right did I have to be happy when my brother was gone, and I'd cry. All the time. And crying like that affects your body, I went to the doctor and he told me your emotions, and putting your body through that much strain can change you. Can affect your cycle- can make you sick or even make your hair fall out.”

  He wasn't sure where she was going with this, was unsure what she was talking about- why she had brought up her brother was a mystery. 

 “I thought that's what this was, I thought I was putting my body through the emotional ringer with all the crying and the nightmares and the puking. But I was so stupid- I should have been smarter-”

 Franks brows furrowed, “What are you talking about?”

 “I was so dumb, I didn't notice when the crying got more erratic, or the puking was happening all day long- I should have known better, but I was trying so hard to forget that night- that I almost blocked out the whole night altogether…”

  What is she saying?

“What are you talking about, Karen?”

  “I'm pregnant! I'm fucking pregnant! With Billy FUCKING RUSSO’S KID!” She screamed it, and he was silent. 

 For once he was silent. 

He didn't know what to say.

  Frank was without answers.

Without words. 

 “I- uh…” Frank stuttered.

She looked at him, and he stared back- this was why she was stuck in this tub, what had been wrong.

 “How- uh.. How long have you known?”

 Karen swallowed, “Officially I found out today- but I think subconsciously I kinda figured it out a few days ago, but didn't want to acknowledge it.”

 “What are you- do you know what you want to do?” 

“No, I- I don't know what i'm gonna do….”

  He knew she had more to say, Franks hand felt the water- an ice cold temperature, something she shouldn't be in anymore. So he picked her up- picked her up under the knees and behind the back, naked, wet, and slippery. He put her under the covers and waited for her to say something- say anything. And he would wait all night long if he had too. 


	35. Unapologeticly Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with some writing!!! Lol

  The whole night she spent laying in bed with her eyes wide open, thinking about her life and who she was. Thinking about her past.

 Not the kind of thoughts that put you to sleep- the kind that kept you awake and on edge. 

  For some strange, almost impossible reason she was cold- despite the body behind her. Karen knew it was probably the stress of the past few days- hell past few months, that made her feel like a crazy person. 

It was almost as if her life were on pause at the moment- she could hardly remember a time in the recent months that she felt anywhere near normal. Work flew by whenever she went in, and Karen had a feeling Ellison must somewhat know something is going on with her because none of her work had been up to par lately, but he didn’t say anything- and for that she was grateful. She hadn’t seen Matt since  _that_ night, but Karen didn’t really want to see him. Especially now who knows what he would hear if he listened too closely. 

  Sadly Karen hadn’t seen or spoken to Foggy in what felt like forever, but it was almost as if they were on two totally separate paths at the moment that hadn’t crossed in a long while, and it was sad. But not like she couldn’t fix that if she really wanted too.

 That was the problem though. 

Karen didn’t want to fix anything at the moment- she just wanted to get through this shitstorm she was currently living in and that meant not dealing with anything but the goings on of the people around her. 

 Like the man next to her.

 Karen could feel Frank’s breath on the back of her neck, she felt the weight of his heavy arm on her stomach- she felt him and his silent presence and was grateful. Because as much as it hurt to hear some of the things he said to her in the tub that night- Karen would rather him say it to her face than tip toe around her, she would rather his honesty force her to wake up than have him ignore her pain. She was so grateful for Frank- for every part of him, the good and bad. And she knew.

She loves him. 

  Karen Page loves Frank Castle.

And she doesn’t deserve him. 

  Despite how much he might think he was some terrible person who didn’t deserve happiness, Frank was wrong. It was her who didn’t deserve his love. 

  Karen kept her tears silent, not wanting to wake him up- but somehow he knew anyway, somehow he felt her quiet sobs. That’s how it was with Frank- he just knew.

  “You good?” His sleep roughened voice shook her to her very soul.

  All Karen could do was nod.

Apparently it wasn’t convincing enough, “No. Tell me.”

  It wasn’t a question, but it was still hard to answer. Hard to put into words. 

  “I’m selfish...”

There was a pause after she spoke softly to the man behind her, “What?”

 “I’m selfish and I don’t think about other people, I’m a mess.” Karen didn’t need to look behind her she could feel Frank shaking his head in response.

 “You’re wrong ma’am. You are probably one of the least selfish people I know- and honestly I think maybe... maybe right now it’s okay to be a little selfish.” Frank was trying to make her look at him, but she wasn’t moving. 

Karen couldn’t let him convince her otherwise, “It's not fair to Sophie. She deserves better, I’m a parent now- and being a parent means it doesn’t matter what I’m going through. I just got to suck it up and.... and be there for her.” 

  Frank shifted in the bed beside her, sitting up to lean against her headboard- she could hear his head leaning back. Yet still she refused to look at him- only listened to the silence that hung between the two, “Now you don’t believe that do you? You don’t really believe that it doesn’t matter what’s going on with you. Because if that were true- if that’s how you planned on raising her, you wouldn’t be her mom. You’d be some shell of a woman who happened to let Sophie live in your house. And I know that’s not you. I know for a god damn fact that you love her. Now what’s this really about?”

  The pillow beneath her cheek felt wet and uncomfortable with tears and snot, but Karen didn’t want another knowing the next pillow would have the exact same fate. Her heart squeezed before she even considered putting to words the thoughts that had been going through her head ever since she found out, “I’m- I'm not good. Not as good as I want to be, not as good as I should be. I’m not evil, but I’m not good either. And.....”

  She could feel that Frank wanted to interrupt and denounce her thinking but he was patient, waiting for her to finish her thought.

  “And _he_ certainly is nowhere near good. Is evil- was evil.” Franks breath hitches and she could only assume he somewhat knew where this was going, but Karen had to say it. Had to put it out there for the universe to hear. 

  “So if _he_ is evil, and I’m not good- than this... this baby has no chance. Is cursed to be bad, right? And that’s all I can think about, because if I’m being honest- If this had happened before Sophie I can almost guarantee you that I would have gotten an abortion and it wouldn’t have even been a question. But now I have Sophie, and Sophie is great. So what if... what if this baby is great too? But what if I’m wrong and he’s cursed to be exactly like his father?” 

  Karen’s eyes blurred and her head hurt from how long she had been crying, she wasn’t sure how many tears she had left in her- would they ever end? 

  She was wallowing I’m self pity and silence when his rough voice startled her from her sobs, “That’s bullshit.”

”Excuse me?” At this point Karen could t help but sit up and look at him incredulously- furious he might have thought her fears were anywhere near bullshit.

  “It’s bullshit if you think I would let that happen. If I would ever let your kid be anything like  _him._ Not on my watch. And you know it.” She couldn’t help but gulp at the depth of emotion both in his eyes and his words. 

  His words sounded of a devotion every person on this world craved- a promise of  never feeling that loneliness again.

”And how do I know it?” It wasn’t angry or questioning, she spoke in a whisper that practically begged him to tell her over and over again that it would be okay.

Frank leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers before whispering his next words, “You know it because all you gotta do is look at Sophie. Look at that sweet, beautiful little girl, and try to tell me her shitbag parents have anything to do with how amazing she is. Sophie is the way she is because of you, because you are good- because you are Karen fucking Page!”

 She had heard him say that to her before but somehow this meant more- somehow him telling her her name made it seem like she could conquer the world. “Because of you too, not just me. Who knows how she’d be without you, Frank.”

 For the first time that night Karen saw a small smile grace his otherwise serious face, before getting back to business- “Because if this is something you want- Karen if you want to keep this baby, than we won’t let him be anything like Billy. I promise, okay?”

  “Okay...”

”Okay.”

  Frank reached across her and picked up her wet pillow before switching it for his own and pulled her down with him. Both  of Franks massive arms wrapped around her- cocooning Karen in warmth, safety, and something that could only be described in what she hoped was love.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully u enjoy y’all<3<3


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love hearing from y’all- comments, criticism<3 go for it!!

Once Sophie came home from the Liebermanns the little girl had instantly pounced on Karen- it brought tears to her eyes that Sophie hadn’t been angry in the slightest, only concern for her mom in her tiny heart.

Karen still felt the guilt choke her up every so often, it was hard to think she has slackened on her responsibilities and Sophie has suffered because of her pain. But after talking with Frank, Karen knew trying to ignore the hurt she felt inside would only make things worse in the long run.

But that didn’t mean Karen wasn’t going to try and make it up to Sophie, and if that meant spending more special Soph and Kare time then that’s what she would do.

It was just starting to get out of real winter and the snow wasn’t falling very often, but there was still a bit of a chill in the air. So Karen made sure to bring Sophie’s puffer jacket with her when she went to pick the little girl up.

The door opened and one of the caretakers called for Sophie once they saw who it was at the door, “Hey Sophie, your moms here!!”

The body that crashed into her legs almost sent her tumbling backward, but the smile on Sophs face lit up the room.

“Hey little lady, how was school?” Karen made sure to put the puffer on her while listening to the play by play run down of exactly what happened that day. She made sure to nod and gasp at the right moments, while Sophie grabbed her hand and started heading to the door.

“Make sure to say bye, okay?” Sophie modded her head and turned around to wave at all the kids still waiting to be picked up, with a loud ‘See ya’- they were out the door and on their way.

“Sooo I decided to pick you up a bit early today.” The little girls head nodded up at her before looking up at the sky above them.

“Yea I know it’s so much brighter out right now than regular time.”

Karen almost laughed at the simplistic way she told time, looking only at the color of the sky- it would be interesting when daylight savings time rolled around, “That’s true, but I picked you up early cause I was thinking we could do something cool today.”

Sophie’s eyes brightened at the prospect of doing something fun with her Karen. The little girl wouldn’t say it, but it had been a rough few months- first with the incident at the Liebermanns and then later at home in the tub. They were scary times- and Sophie has been afraid for herself and for Karen, so Sophie jumped at the opportunity to do something with Karen that would make both of them smile.

“Really?!?! Well what are we doing? Should we go home first? Do I need to change? Is Frank coming? How bout Duck? Oh my god I’m so excited!!! Oh wait should I-“ it came out in an almost endless stream of excitement and questions, Karen was barely able to keep the smile off her face and laughter spilled out her mouth.

Sophie’s eyebrows crinkled in this adorable angry expression at being laughed at, “Woah slow down, kid. I haven’t even told you what we’re doing. Let me try and answer as many of those questions I heard: were not going home, it’s just me and you. So no Frank or Duck- did I get em all?”

As they walked down the street Soph let out the cutest exasperated sigh, almost as if she were disappointed that Laren could have missed the most important question- “Duh..... Of course you missed the biggest question of them all!”

Karen feigned innocence, then gasped as if the answer had finally come to her- “How could I forget! We’re going- drum roll please.........” Sophie started making drumsticks with her fingers and a terrible sound that was nothing like a drumroll, but kept going anyway.

“Ice skating!!!”

Karen couldn’t help but laugh once again seeing the dropped jaw of the little girl walking beside her.

“We’re going ice skating. We’re going ice skating! WE’RE GOING ICE SKATING!! OH MY GOD-“ Sophie was telling so loudly Karen had to shush her, but the laughter at the little girls excitement was hilarious to see.

“Yea I figured soon it’ll start warming up a bit and we should go ice skating while it’s still cold. Y’know get the full experience.” Sophie nodded along and pulled Karen to walk faster even though Sophie didn’t know the faintest clue to there destination.

When suddenly the little girl came to a stop, “We’re going ice skating. Oh no....”

Almost instantly there was a red ring to the girls eyes as she looked up at Karen, “What’s up? What’s wrong?”

“We can’t go...” Karen wondered why the sudden change of heart and had to ask, “And why is that?”

What came out was whispered so lowly Karen had to strain to hear it, “We can’t go because..... because I don’t know how. So we can’t go.”

She nodded her head at Sophie before getting ready to blow her mind, “Well y’know what? I love ice skating, I’ve been doing it since I can remember. But you know what I love even more that skating?”

“What?”

Karen whispered it to Sophie as if it were some big secret, “Teaching people to skate, I can show you how! It’ll be so much fun, Soph!”

And that’s all it took to convince the little girl they could go to the rink, and after a good forty five minutes or so of falling and getting up to try again- Soph was ready to take a few laps on her own. She insisted Karen not hold her hand after a while because she wanted to know how to do it ‘like a big girl’

It was probably the most fun Karen had had in a long time, and she made sure to take as many pictures of Sophs first skate as she could. She wasn’t sure she was supposed to think this, but the best part was probably watching little Soph fall.

I’m sure some amazing parenting experts would say it was good to watch her fall and show enough perseverance to get back up and try again- but all Karen could think of was how funny her face looked when she fell on her tush and got so so mad. It cracked her up to see her little girl angry at the ice underneath her.

Karen caught a picture of the exact moment Sophie landed on the ice for maybe the twelfth time, and the face she mad was so angry and funny that Karen couldn’t help but make it her phone screen. But once Sophie got the hang of it, there was a feeling in Karen’s chest that was so heavy and full she wanted to scream- pride.

She was so proud of her little girl she wanted to scream it from the rooftops of Hell’s Kitchen, wanted to tell everyone she saw on the street how amazing her daughter was. She wanted to send a mass email to every one in her contacts of all the pictures she had taken, but knew that probably wasn’t the best idea.

So instead she sent all those photos to Frank, filling up her camera roll and sending a constant stream of Sophie’s adventure through the phone to Frank.

After a while of taking pictures Karen went back out onto the rink to skate with Soph, and it was amazing. All they did was laugh and play, and chase each other until they were so tired they had to head out to grab something to eat.

“We can come back, right?” Sophie sat across from Karen eating a grilled cheese in a diner that somewhat reminded her of a particular conversation she’d once had with Frank. Karen ate her pastrami sandwich and couldn’t help but nod her head at the girl sitting across from her.

“Good. I really wanna go again..... Karen- your sandwich smells funny.” And she couldn’t help but laugh at that statement, because a few months ago Karen would have agreed with her. She’d always thought pastrami sandwich’s were to vinegar-y, but here she was scarfing it down like it was the best thing she had ever tasted.

“Yea it does. I’ll make sure to eat a mint after I’m done, okay?”

Sophie gave her a thumbs up as she ate the grilled cheese through the middle leaving crumbs all over her face and Karen loved it.

She loved these moments- times that were so small and seemed like they wouldn’t be that memorable, but stamped themselves into her mind forever. She loved Sophie, she loved showing her new things, and she loved being a parent.

Karen never thought she would want a kid, but then along game Sophie and it was almost love at first sight- a decision she will never regret. So maybe...... maybe things were gonna be alright. Maybe she’d love it just as much the second time around.

All she could do was hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!


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